.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Embarrasment

Have you ever locked yourself out of your home?

Well guess what happened to me on Friday!!

Now you know why my blog was so very late in being updated -- apart from the fact that, due to a very particular and fussy lock we have, which necessitated careful and muy expensivo locksmithing, I waited outside my home for 3 hours until it was ready...

...I also felt so embarrassed, I actually felt a little low after all was said and done.

You see, I'm perfect. I'm sure you've noticed.

So this little brainfart, the most absent-minded of things which can happen to one, save walking out of your home without clothes on, was a bucket of cold water to my ego.

Other people lose their keys, or lock themselves out of their homes and cars -- but not me!

No sirree bob.

Old Vic is not like her too vague parents who not only misplace the TV clicker at least once a day, but they also are always losing their wallets, their purses, their glasses, and on one rare festive occasion, my father misplaced my mother on their honeymoon.

It's okay, he found her on another train, else I wouldn't be here to tell the sordid tale.

But the thing is, I am always ALWAYS making fun of my parents for their typical absent-minded professorship, which as scientists, they are both prone to.

Not I, though!

I am so regimented and neat, I am one of those weirdoes you've heard about, that can go inside a completely darkened room, and can lay her hand on any item, because I'm so organised.

So obviously, not wanting to alert my mother (who was an hour away from home anyway), and having WAAAY too much pride to confide in the porters downstairs, I had to bite the bullet, and call for a locksmith.

No Norberto this time.

It was an old American gentleman, who arrived fairly promptly, but charged me the proverbial arm and two kidneys.

I paid $257, with $75 as the "emergency" fee.

One of the not-so-secret rules of calling in a plumber, a carpet guy, or any kind of handyman, is that they adjust their prices according to what kind of home you have, what neighbourhood its in, and how much they think they can screw you over for (especially if you are a woman).

Treble that, when you are in desperate need of their services, like, now.

And patience, you know, has never been one of my attributes.

So I paid thru' the nose, three hours later, after he had searched for the specially fitted doorknob we had put in.

Anything, just anything to get back into my home.

When he left, I just closed my door and read books on the balcony, ever so slightly depressed at my stupidity.

That's when I realised -- the balcony is about 1 foot away from my neighbour's.

I don't even suffer from vertigo, either, so I could've negotiated the ledge.

As Renato queried, when I told him the incident later at night:

"Why didn't you just climb over the balcony? Your neighbour wouldn't have minded."

*slaps forehead*

Someone just shoot me now.

15 Comments:

  • High-larious, Victoria. And I read your insightful essay on Norberto you linked to. But could you do a favor for this former Floridian? In my youth, I'd often heard the conyo (Sorry, don't know how to get the tilde thingy to work) oath but could never figure out what it meant. It seems to be an all-purpose utterance which is why it's so hard to translate for me. Enlighten me, please.

    By Blogger Pete, at Sat Jan 21, 07:31:00 am GMT-5  

  • You've only my sympathy about the whole darn thing.
    The Attorney General prosecutes people like him for price-gouging after hurricanes.
    Don't suppose you had one of those yesterday?

    By Blogger Paul, at Sat Jan 21, 09:22:00 am GMT-5  

  • No, I never have locked myself out of the house, but I once left a Dolphins game and could not find my car for almost 30 minutes!!!

    I assume your Mom also had no keys or you would have waited an hour, right? Time to keep a spare key with a neighbor.

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Sat Jan 21, 10:22:00 am GMT-5  

  • Let me introduce you to my wonderful friend, Saint Anthony of Padua....patron saint of lost and misplaced items...among many other patronages.

    Pray this: "Tony, Tony, turn around. Something's lost that must be found." When you find your thing say out loud [best while laughing] "Thanks, St. Anthony!!!" He is a saint with a miraculous sense of humor. Try it.

    By Blogger Ruth Anne Adams, at Sat Jan 21, 10:29:00 am GMT-5  

  • But the spelling of the title of this post does not?

    ;-0

    By Blogger Ron, at Sat Jan 21, 12:44:00 pm GMT-5  

  • As a conservative and good free-market capitalist, surely you appreciate the good-business sense of the locksmith, not to mention the idea that price can be based on the urgency of the demand and the value of the service.

    ; )

    (I have had this embarrassing experience before, by the way, more than once.

    The most memorable was the one in which I managed to climb from the ground to my second-storey deck, but caught my shirt on a post and ripped it half-way off, in full view of the street out front and the busy municipal parking lot across the way. The second most memorable was the next time, when I just called the damn locksmith and ate the cost.

    Thereafter, I learned to be more trusting about passing out a few back-up keys.)

    By Blogger reader_iam, at Sat Jan 21, 04:32:00 pm GMT-5  

  • My most recent episode of, "Where the hell are my keys?" was easy to remedy. I had left the back sliding-glass door unlocked. I wandered around the building to the rear, pushed my fingers through the screen at my apartment, lifted the screen latch, and in I went!

    I'm such a good self-burglar! LOL

    Be careful on those balconies!

    By Blogger benning, at Sun Jan 22, 10:18:00 pm GMT-5  

  • High-larious, Victoria.

    Oh sure, laugh!

    And I read your insightful essay on Norberto you linked to.

    Aww, thanks for reading it. As you can see, I greatly admire the Cuban-Americans here, because they always step up to the plate, IMHO.

    But could you do a favor for this former Floridian?

    Rub Wayne Huizenga out?

    In my youth, I'd often heard the conyo

    Oops, a verbal request, gotcha. ;)

    (Sorry, don't know how to get the tilde thingy to work) oath but could never figure out what it meant. It seems to be an all-purpose utterance which is why it's so hard to translate for me. Enlighten me, please.

    Cointly.

    "Coño" actually means a very foul word in English -- another c-word, hint nudge wink.

    But in Spain, it is nothing more agregious than saying our "Damn".

    Since you rarely will find a Cuban-American in Miami without a grandfather, a grannie, SOMEONE from Spain in the very recent past, they of all the Caribbean peoples (with their more recent link to Spain), are as filthy-mouthed as the Spaniards.

    Another cultural bequest from the Arabs, whose curses are legendary.

    If you go to Peru, for example, and say coño, they'll call you grosero (rude, coarse -- yes, gross).

    So use it with caution, Pete, but I personally love it. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Jan 23, 02:28:00 am GMT-5  

  • You've only my sympathy about the whole darn thing.
    The Attorney General prosecutes people like him for price-gouging after hurricanes.
    Don't suppose you had one of those yesterday?


    Nah. I didn't like to give anyone that amount of cash, but he did take a long time over it, and I saw he wasn't stinting on effort at least.

    It's like RIA says, a question of the free-market system at work. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Jan 23, 02:29:00 am GMT-5  

  • No, I never have locked myself out of the house, but I once left a Dolphins game and could not find my car for almost 30 minutes!!!

    Dude, that carpark is crazy!!

    It reminds me of the Disney World one, only instead of "Goofy West" "Donald Duck South", or whatever, they have "Orange 1", "Yellow 3".

    WTF!

    I assume your Mom also had no keys or you would have waited an hour, right? Time to keep a spare key with a neighbor.

    I felt so embarrassed, I haven't told her yet.

    I paid out of my own funds...

    And I just can't trust my home to strangers -- it's not in our nature to be so trusting...especially with my mother's antiques.

    Que pena. :(

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Jan 23, 02:31:00 am GMT-5  

  • "Tony, Tony, turn around. Something's lost that must be found."

    *LOL!*

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Jan 23, 02:32:00 am GMT-5  

  • Oops, embarrassment about embarrasment. *g*

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Jan 23, 02:33:00 am GMT-5  

  • As a conservative and good free-market capitalist, surely you appreciate the good-business sense of the locksmith, not to mention the idea that price can be based on the urgency of the demand and the value of the service.

    There you go again, Jimmy.

    Always making sense! ;)

    Thereafter, I learned to be more trusting about passing out a few back-up keys.)

    All kidding aside, I really admire this attitude.

    When I shared a house with 3 American guys at Oxford, we kept the key over the ledge on the door.

    No one stole it, or entered our house.

    But in this condo, with all these transients, and the fact that my home is like Fort Knox with all my mum's stuff -- forget it. :(

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Jan 23, 02:36:00 am GMT-5  

  • My most recent episode of, "Where the hell are my keys?" was easy to remedy. I had left the back sliding-glass door unlocked. I wandered around the building to the rear, pushed my fingers through the screen at my apartment, lifted the screen latch, and in I went!

    Yikes! Hope you did something about that.

    I'm such a good self-burglar! LOL

    Catburglar!

    Be careful on those balconies!

    You know, I jested about having had only 1 foot between balconies, but it's fairly high up there.

    Not sure I would've tried it, since I'm no adrenaline junkie. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Jan 23, 02:38:00 am GMT-5  

  • Thanks, Victoria, for the language lesson. I shall use my newly acquired knowledge sparingly but effectively.

    Best,

    Pete

    By Blogger Pete, at Mon Jan 23, 07:07:00 am GMT-5  

Post a Comment

Who linked Here:

Create a Link

<< Home


 




Advertise on blogs
British Expat Blog Directory.