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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

10 Sluttiest (Old) Hollywood Actresses

Remember my recent post on "Most Elegant (Old) Hollywood Actors"?

I enjoyed the bejesus-juice out of writing that, since it allowed my twin loves of movies and writing about, well, nothing to shine through.

But you can't write about actors, and not expect a companion piece about actresses to follow at some point, right? Here you go!

But hang on a mo'.

I thought about it even back then, and realised I just can't cough up another Top 10 list about elegant Hollywood actresses of the studio era.

My readers will roll their eyeballs at me like a row of Marty Feldmans, and snicker, "There goes that Vic again. Always with the elegance. Snore.".

So, I thought and thought, and thought, then realised I should maybe tie this in with Valentine's Day:

That most traditional of days when love, heady love, is in the air, everywhere I look around, love is in the air, every sight and every sound, the Love Boat exciting and new!

Erm, sorry, where were we again? Oh, right, St. Valentine's Day, 14 February 2007.

So on this wonderful day devoted to love, I offer you something a little different.

For the opposite of love is lust, and you can't have lust without a good slut.

You heard me.

A good, old-fashioned, heart of gold, can teach you a trick or two, been around the block (and back), get yourself checked for crabs, two-fer Sundays, Heidi Fleiss List slut.

They're usually not the girls who get candies and cards on Valentine's, but they ARE the ones guys fantasise about, all through their lives.

Not all guys have the same tastes, though -- some favouring one kind of slutty ho over the other, so in the spirit of the variety of spices, I offer you this seductively trashy list below.

With apologies to Bette Davis (too Yankee to be a slut), "Fasten your seatbelts! This is going to be a humpy ride!"


THE 10 SLUTTIEST (OLD) HOLLYWOOD ACTRESSES


10. Norma Shearer




THE CLASSY SLUT


Ahh, Norma Shearer.

The girl who might've slept her way to the top, but first she married the top -- boy wonder, Irving Thalberg, production chief of MGM who recognised her talents as soon as he left her bedroom.

This Canadian lass from Montreal with the lazy eye, and hyper-theatrical persona was born to play the modern roles which Hollywood glamourised in the pre-Hays era.

From "the other woman" roles, to "the divorced woman" roles, to "saucy high society deb" roles, to a libidinous and almost unrecognisably affable Marie Antoinette, Norma Shearer was THE perfect slut for her time.

This is the gal guys dreamt of going to bed with, if only because they loved thinking of her scratching up their backs with those jungle-red nails.

Unlike almost any other of the women listed below, she also might just be the only one presentable enough to be introduced to dear mama, or to be escorted to brunch at the country club.

She was that rarest of sluts too, she could show she had brains and men didn't hate it, but admired her for it.

Yes, Norma Shearer was living testament that a slut need not be dirty to be desirable.

She just had to project dirty with those bedroom eyes you see blazing at you above, 70 years ago. Yowza!


9. Marlene Dietrich




THE AC/DC SLUT


Maybe some day men will explain it to me, why the thought of two women with interlocked lips and writhing limbs is universally hot to them, but guys, I just don't get it.

Most of the women who like that sort of thing look like this, 'ssamatter you?

But I suppose reality has never intruded into a male's sexual fantasies, especially since on rare, festive occasion you get a looker who just happens to swing both ways.

And that would pretty much describe the original Blue Angel, Marlene Dietrich.

She was the slut archetype that was virtually unknown until the heady free-for-all days of the Weimar Republic, when monocled girls took turns dancing with diaphanous creatures in Berlin nightclubs, some of them females.

I suppose the reason Marlene Dietrich was better received by males as sex object, than say her MGM foreign rival, Greta Garbo, was that Marlene Dietrich was the kind of woman who was butch enough to drink a man under the table, but also could be sexy in an aggressively kittenish type of way.

Sort of like a Brigitte Bardot who knew her way around a harness.

(Poor Greta had "instruction manual" written all over her)

When you think of testosterone-driven sexual energy, you'd have to think of Marlene Dietrich as your slut of choice.

Heck, if she had sung an octave deeper, she'd be Barry White.



8. Joan Blondell




THE TRASHY SLUT


No one remembers Joan Blondell anymore, save the good burghers of Rantburg.

(As an aside, Burger Nation is a good place to hang out, since their "Good Morning" post always features a sexpot du jour, gone but never forgotten, at least not by them)

In this context, she's very much like the slut archetype she projected or was made to project, on screen -- the girl who might be a knockout, but perhaps a little too low-rent to be seen by your mama.

The Trashy Slut is always showing a little too much leg.

Might be seated in less than ladylike poses.

And loves nothing better than to be admired in her bath, waiting for you to hand her your "loofah".

By the way, the Italian version of the Trashy Slut will forever be Giuletta Massina in The Nights of Cabiria, with her loud "va fanculs" still ringing out proudly 50 years later.

Actually, the Trashy Slut is not half bad, as far as sluts go. They just like to have a fun time -- is that so wrong?



7. Louise Brooks




THE EXHIBITIONIST SLUT


It's hard to know what to make of Louise Brooks.

She was modern and slutty in ways even men weren't ready a woman to be in the '20s.

Brooks, then around 60 years-old, wrote her Congressman a letter asking him to help her to ban Valium in the US, because it took away the desire to pleasure oneself, from a woman (I did not know that actually).

I mean, jeez, no wonder she had to flee to Germany to star as the once, and eternal Lulu in those Pabst films.

Maybe it's because of her frank, ultra-modern face didn't particularly want to hide anything from men, that it took a special, brave kind of man to want this lulu of a Lulu.

That famous pageboy for one, influenced every girl from Darla of Our Gang fame, to years later, another Louise, this time House of Eliott, Louise Lombard -- that luscious Anglo-Irish actress for whom millions of men tuned into, even for this ultra-chick TV series.

And why not? You never knew when you would get a peak or two.



6. Lana Turner




THE DREAM SLUT


All this talk of slut is making me sleepy.

And that's good, because next up for Slut Of the Moment, is Lana Turner, the archetypical Dream Slut.

By now, everyone on earth worth their Oscars statuette salt knows the story of how she was "discovered" -- seated at the lunch counter at Schraft's, wearing an angora sweater so tight, the Hollywood agent almost fell over his banana sundae.

Never mind that the story was more of a concoction than an ice-cream soda:

Everyone fell for it, because it was a dream-like way to be plucked from obscurity to fame -- Horatio Alger with tits.

This brings us to another point about Lana Turner.

She was one of those sluts that both men and women liked. Some of the slut archetypes listed here really get on some women's nerves.

Women tend not to like the Trashy Slut, they think the AC/DC Slut is creepsville, and they are dismissive of the Exhibitionist Slut (whilst secretly admiring her cojones).

But the Dream Slut is what they have in mind, when they go into that Victoria's Secret emporium, plunk down $200 for a bra and see-thru' nightie, and come out with a smile on their faces.

So now you know, guys.

Stand outside a Victoria's Secret shop this weekend, and check out the ladies coming out with a twinkle in their eyes.

That's not a piece of grit. That's a future Dream Slut out two-hundred bucks.



5. Joan Crawford




THE UPWARDLY-MOBILE SLUT


Oh sure, think men when they catch sight of The Upwardly-Mobile Slut.

She's a waitress NOW, but this girl has got something. One can really see her going from rags to riches on my arm, and maybe she's just the gal I need to help me do it.

That sentiment neatly described most of the roles Joan Crawford ever played at Metro:

The Upperwardly-Mobile Slut is the kind that scrubs up well.

She may be forced to buy from the Sears Roebuck catalogue now, but when the time comes, she'll be a knock-out wearing those Schiaparelli furs.

Perhaps the Upwardly-Mobile Slut is a touch too independent to be the straight-marrying kind, but she certainly can give a man a run for his money, whilst they are together.

Joan Crawford, in her heydey, was one of the most alluring, glamourous stars in the firmament known as Hollywood.

Polite to a fault with her fans (whom she never forgot put her inside the clothes she wore so well), never forgetting to send back an autographed glammed up photo, she knew the recipient could be a future Joan Crawford stuck in some rathole in Iowa.

She played her role well with both men and women, who both gave the Upwardly-Mobile Slut plenty of affection on the big screen.

Heck, she was the girl everyone rooted for to win, in the chick-film to end all chick-films, The Women.

You tell me one "Other Woman" who would get the sympathy she could garner from her audience, like she could. Why, they would've knifed Katharine Hepburn themselves if they could.

Please note though:

The Upwardly-Mobile Slut sometimes turns out to be Mommie Dearest.

Just remember, fellas, when she says no more wire hangers, she means it.



4. Clara Bow




THE GOOD-TIME GIRL SLUT


Clara Bow is famous for three things:


1. Having a Brooklyn accent so thick, even Bugs Bunny couldn't understand her.

(She disappeared when the talkies hit the big time)


2. Bee-stung lips, which by the way, I share, see? *purses lips*


3. Having slept with the entire University of Southern California men's college football team, just because, well, she wanted to.

That it wasn't true is beside the point. She was the It Girl, which was flapper and bathtub gin short-hand for a good-time girl.

And that's what Good Time Girls did back then. Live with it!



3. Barbara Stanwyck




THE BRASSY SLUT


One of the best things about Old Hollywood, is that they didn't pigeonhole their actresses by looks, just by talent.

If you had range, you could play a saucy minx in Jezebel, even though you had bulbous eyes Queen Victoria would be proud of, like Bette Davis.

If you looked like a goddess but swore like a trucker, you could play ditzes in screwball comedies, like Carole Lombard.

If you had a way about you, could handle a champagne flute, or a broomstick, you could play both the ingenue or the lead, like Ingrid Bergman.

But Hollywood also needed a girl from the mean streets who never forgot she was from the mean streets, and that was Barbara Stanwyck, the Brassy Slut.

The Brassy Slut isn't quite the Trashy Slut, because she's ambitious.

She's not the Good-Time-Girl Slut because she's got character.

And she's not the Upwardly-Mobile Slut, because usually life is really hard on her, and rarely cuts her a break -- this is why her outward veneer is usually cold, and her tongue sassy.

It screams, "I'm out for number 1 'cause you lousy jerks don't care about me!".

Film critic Leslie Halliwell loved Barbara Stanwyck.

She was a genuine outsider in the Hollywood system, able to translate such depths of tenderness in her roles, that her personality jumped straight out at you from the screen, a priceless quality to have.

So guys, when you meet a Brassy Slut or two once in a while, remember, there's a heart of gold lurking underneath that crusty exterior.

In the phrase of her day, she was some kind of dame.



2. Jean Harlow




THE TROPHY SLUT


Paris Hilton, and before her, the late Anna Nicole Smith are but a few modern examples of a woman who all but created a genre of womanhood, all on her own -- the Blonde Bombshell, Jean Harlow.

To imagine that this wispy, but not untalented actress died in 1937, is to realise just how lasting her visual is in our minds:

The Trophy Slut is the gal who a man wants, whom he desires more than anything, not because it says something about her, but because it says something about HIM.

Hey, look at me! You think a hot bit of crumpet like this would marry just any Schmoe!

You know, years ago, I realised my father had married The Trophy...erm, Wife:

Blonde, outrageously beautiful, and though she had a good head on her shoulders, she wasn't at pains to show it (unlike her daughter, see "Classy Slut").

When I questioned him about it one day, gently, he all but confessed to me he had indeed, married his version of a Jean Harlow.

"When I walk into a room, I feel like every chap there says, look at that guy. He's the luckiest so-and-so in the world."

And so he was.

By the way, for my money, this is one of the funniest scenes in Hollywood history.

The comic timing of Canadian grande dame, Marie Dressler, in doing a double-take, is only matched by the deadpan set-up timing of Jean Harlow.






1. Mae West




THE MAN-EATING SLUT


Mae West. They don't make 'em like that anymore. Thank God.

I end this Top 10 Sluttiest Actresses list with this inimitable actress, because she was simply, the Queen Slut on celluloid.

No woman even comes close to her Sluttiness, full stop.

There isn't one female impersonator (whom comically, audiences at the time thought she was) who could match her unreplicatable slut strut.

Never has there been a more outrageous, sexually-explicit woman like Mae West. She OOZED sexual promiscuity, from every pore in her body, a body which had more curves than Old Cutler Road.

This wasn't the kind of slut that would let a man have the upper-hand, or the last say.

Her attraction for men, lay in the fact that every man likes a good challenge -- she was the human equivalent of conquering a boa constrictor.

That they survived uneaten afterwards, was itself another notch in the belt.

Yes, Mae West was one of a kind.

But did you know, I can do a mean Mae West impersonation myself? Yes!

From the chafing inner thighs waddle, to the speech inflections, to that Billy Idol curl around the lips when she is about to launch into her trademark quips, your humble blogger here present can duplicate The Man-Eating Slut to a tee.

I still haven't screwed up the courage to go dressed as Mae West to a fancy dress party or as a Halloween costume, but I will, I will.

The Man-Eating Slut, after all, is an aged slut. I have time on my side.

Though I AM practising my one-liners, now:


"A hard man is good to find"

"A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction."

"An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises."

"Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly."

"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."

"Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of."

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."

"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."

"I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported."

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."

"I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it."

"It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men."

"Sex is emotion in motion."

"Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often."

"To err is human, but it feels divine."

"When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better."

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."



And lastly, there is this Mae West quote that is my personal favourite.


"I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."


I used this line under my high school year book picture. And by the time the principal saw it, it had already gone to print. Teehee. Sluts rule!

Happy Valentine's!

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60 Comments:

  • I love that you have "loucheness" as a category...it's part of what makes you wonderful!

    The whole lesbian thing has zero appeal to me, and I scratch my head over why anyone thinks it has any. If the dame is hot, I want to think of myself intertwined with her, not some other chick! Maybe I don't get it because I use words like "intertwined."

    My mother adored Clara Bow, and did her hair like hers for many years.

    I have to admit no one here really floats my boat. Well, ok, Massina! Stanwyck, maybe, Blondell is nice, and it's difficult to not like Mae West, who seems more force of nature than mere mortal. But Turner or Harlow? Eh.

    I like Lombard more than any of them!

    By Blogger Ron, at Wed Feb 14, 05:36:00 am GMT-5  

  • Victoria, this has got to be one of your best posts yet! For me it was both entertaining and educational in a fun way! I can't wait to see your Mae West impersonation!

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Wed Feb 14, 10:21:00 am GMT-5  

  • Yes, I agree with Jose! A little Mae West, with a smidgin of Liz Hurley on YouTube please!

    :)

    By Blogger Ron, at Wed Feb 14, 12:07:00 pm GMT-5  

  • A good, old-fashioned, heart of gold, can teach you a trick or two, been around the block (and back), get yourself checked for crabs, two-fer Sundays, Heidi Fleiss List slut.

    Gee, thanks Vic. You prance these top 10 sluts out, and I have no where to go to work out my...frustrations? Thanks oh so much.

    Yes, I do know a slut or two. One's on the bench - she's waiting her test results to come back, hopefully negatively. The rest? I've lost track of.

    And the test waiter? she's told me that she loves me. In response, I told her that I loved her, too, but that someone needed to play hard to get and that would have to be me.

    Heh.

    As for your Mae West, I'll meet you with my W. C. Fields. Ok, which one of you wise guys drank my lunch? and a man who hates children and dogs isn't all bad.

    By Blogger I R A Darth, at Wed Feb 14, 12:20:00 pm GMT-5  

  • The whole lesbian thing has zero appeal to me

    It has it's appeal in that the man has not one, but two women to work on (and be worked on by), and he doesn't have to eat the tuna taco should he not be into that sort of thing.

    Otherwise, he's got two tuna taco's to go...

    By Blogger I R A Darth, at Wed Feb 14, 12:23:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I'll leave you with this thought about Valentine and his day:

    Valentine was a Roman citizen who continued to marry Roman soldiers after the Emperor decreed that they remain unmarried. When Valentine was found out, and refused to follow the Emperor's decree, he was executed. Fortunately for him, he was a Roman citizen, so they cut off his head instead of hanging him from the tree of woe.

    Yes, yes, incredible romantic. And it mirrors my Valentine's day adventures: I stick my neck out, and get my head chopped off. Metaphorically, of course.

    By Blogger I R A Darth, at Wed Feb 14, 12:35:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ah, I think you've covered most of my favorites, though I'm also partial to the opposite side of old Hollywood (e.g. Irene Dunne).

    "THE CLASSY SLUT

    Ahh, Norma Shearer."


    Sure, but her best role was a beer-hall wench.

    Having slept with the entire University of Southern California men's college football team, just because, well, she wanted to.

    Ha! I guess the rumormongers liked this movie.

    The Snopes link, incidentally, offers this tidbit:

    "Bow's domineering father objected to her Saturday evening revelries, however, so she took to entertaining groups of players in her room at the infamous mansion-turned-hotel known as the Garden of Allah on Sunset Blvd."

    The Garden of Allah! Mwah.

    Incidentally, do you mind if I post a comment to your ancient King Kong thread? I finally saw the thing, in HD.

    By Blogger JSU, at Wed Feb 14, 01:42:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Another name for the Joan Crawford type would be the "Bitch" slut.

    And who would their modern-day equivalents be?

    By Blogger class-factotum, at Wed Feb 14, 01:43:00 pm GMT-5  

  • To answer Class-Factotum's reply first, here is my list of modern-day equivalents:

    10 Sluttiest (New) Hollywood Actresses

    Classy Slut - Glenn Close / Reese Witherspoon / Uma Thurman / Michelle Pfeiffer

    A/C D/C Slut - Anne Heche?

    Trashy Slut - Rosario Dawson

    Exhibitionist Slut - Drew Barrymore

    Dream Slut - Elizabeth Hurley

    Upwardly-Mobile Slut - Catherine Zeta-Jones

    Good-Time Girl Slut - Lindsay Lohan

    Brassy Slut - Scarlett Johanssen

    Trophy Slut - the late Anna Nicole Smith, Jennifer Lopez

    Man Eating Slut - Sharon Stone / Angelina Jolie

    To make my list, the slut had to be a LEGITIMATE actress, so forget Britney, Paris, Jessica Simpson and those types of no-account acting talents.

    However, Lindsay Lohan is included, because the Good-Time Girl Slut today is almost synonymous with her, and she actually rose to fame as an actress, so...

    Anne Heche, question mark, was difficult to come up with -- who today couldn't you imagine having an AC/DC Girls Gone Wild moment??

    I can't imagine her being any guy's archetype now, but hey.

    Also, I noticed I didn't have any women of colour included, which might be a compliment actually -- so I put in Rosario Dawson as Trashy Slut.

    I can't imagine any guy wanting to take her meet dear old mum -- OTOH, Dawson is no Joan Blondell!

    Finally, I realised something when I was composing this updated, modern list of Hollywood sluts.

    A) The categories I thought would be a cinch, Brassy and Trashy, took the longest for me to think up of a deserving actress.

    B) Have you noticed how Angelina Jolie fits in every Slut category?

    She's Scary Slut.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 02:54:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I love that you have "loucheness" as a category...it's part of what makes you wonderful!

    Well, it describes what this is about, in one quick-syllabled word, so! ;)

    The whole lesbian thing has zero appeal to me, and I scratch my head over why anyone thinks it has any. If the dame is hot, I want to think of myself intertwined with her, not some other chick! Maybe I don't get it because I use words like "intertwined."

    LOL. Now Ron, don't play the intellectual, that women don't like that in bed. ;)

    Save the Edna St. Vincent Millay quotes for the dinner-table!

    My mother adored Clara Bow, and did her hair like hers for many years.

    I have my hair like her in the pic! Well, when I wake up. :)

    Seriously, though, I like Clara Bow best. I have a certain similarity with her facially, if I were chubbier in the face.

    I have to admit no one here really floats my boat.

    Oh really?

    Well, ok, Massina! Stanwyck, maybe, Blondell is nice,

    You like trashy girls! Nice. :)

    and it's difficult to not like Mae West, who seems more force of nature than mere mortal.

    Force of nature is a PERFECT way to describe Mae West.

    But Turner or Harlow? Eh.

    I like Harlow, and I am beginning to like Turner.

    I recently resaw the Postman Always Rings Twice, and she surprised me.

    I like Lombard more than any of them!

    Classy Slut with a Brassy Slut Demeanour. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:00:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Who would I choose, if I were a man?

    Well, it would have to be the opposite of how I think of myself, so Norma is out, Marlene is out because she's too forceful (I'm pretty forceful ;), I possibly could be a Trophy Wife in the making..., and when the mood hits me, I think I could be the alpha female needed for a Man-Eating Slut.

    I'd choose Blondell. She was fun!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:03:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Re: AC/DC Slut Phenomenon

    The theory goes that men want to see a woman with someone, but because of territorialism, they don't want that someone to be another man. There's also some "more is better" thrown in there.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Wed Feb 14, 03:05:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Victoria, this has got to be one of your best posts yet!

    Yay! Thank you, Jose! I've been working on the research and picture gathering for almost two weeks. :)

    For me it was both entertaining and educational in a fun way!

    Sluts are always fun, Jose. :)

    I can't wait to see your Mae West impersonation!

    Ya tu sabes!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:06:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yes, I agree with Jose! A little Mae West, with a smidgin of Liz Hurley on YouTube please!

    In semi-related news, Google has discontinued Audioblogger a while back. :((

    So no more attempts at podcasting, as I had planned.

    Can you guys find another "phone in" audioblogger site, where I can record or store mp3s with my voice?

    I did notice that the old Audioblogger posts are still active, but for how long?

    At least you can still hear my old audioposts -- remember the one where I surprised Jose with my "Cuban" accent, or when I told that funny joke about the old guy in a whorehouse?

    Except that it wasn't funny?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:09:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Gee, thanks Vic. You prance these top 10 sluts out, and I have no where to go to work out my...frustrations? Thanks oh so much.

    Come on, your boss won't notice. ;)

    Yes, I do know a slut or two. One's on the bench - she's waiting her test results to come back, hopefully negatively. The rest? I've lost track of.

    Yeah, a guy tends to lose their sluts as they age, unless they stay bachelors.

    So in a sense, sluts and a man's youth are intertwined in their minds.

    And the test waiter? she's told me that she loves me. In response, I told her that I loved her, too, but that someone needed to play hard to get and that would have to be me.

    Hehe!

    As for your Mae West, I'll meet you with my W. C. Fields. Ok, which one of you wise guys drank my lunch? and a man who hates children and dogs isn't all bad.

    Except to me, nothing is sexier than a guy who likes dogs and kids!

    That takes my knickers off quicker than you can say, Chickadee.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:14:00 pm GMT-5  

  • It has it's appeal in that the man has not one, but two women to work on (and be worked on by), and he doesn't have to eat the tuna taco should he not be into that sort of thing.

    Otherwise, he's got two tuna taco's to go...


    Eww! Cancel my tuna fish sandwich...

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:15:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yes, yes, incredible romantic. And it mirrors my Valentine's day adventures: I stick my neck out, and get my head chopped off. Metaphorically, of course.

    Ahh, but no less painfully.

    When they say that men are not as romantic as women, I scoff.

    NOTHING is more romantic than a man. Nothing.

    Women are emotionally hard comparatively.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:17:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Re: AC/DC Slut Phenomenon

    The theory goes that men want to see a woman with someone, but because of territorialism, they don't want that someone to be another man. There's also some "more is better" thrown in there.


    Yeah, I can imagine that's the case, and it wouldn't be wrong.

    I also remember a Cuban boyfriend trying to explain it to me.

    He said that it all goes back to the harems.

    Men were used to a gaggle of women being kept inside a room, and well, stuff happened, and they loved watching it.

    I smiled, patted his cheek, and said,

    "That might've worked for Seville, but there were no harems in Harrogate, love."

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:19:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ah, I think you've covered most of my favorites,

    Oh I am relieved. I recall wincingly your reaction to my exclusion of Gary Cooper in the Elegant thread, still with pain.

    though I'm also partial to the opposite side of old Hollywood (e.g. Irene Dunne).

    Yes, I like her too.

    Rosalind Russell, for me, though. :)

    Myrna Loy would've been in the Classy Slut end, but didn't make the grade since she played staidly married women most of her (talking) acting career.

    "THE CLASSY SLUT

    Ahh, Norma Shearer."

    Sure, but her best role was a beer-hall wench.


    Yes! The Lubitsch touch. ;)

    Ha! I guess the rumormongers liked this movie.

    Nice one! Thanks for the tip.

    The Snopes link, incidentally, offers this tidbit:

    "Bow's domineering father objected to her Saturday evening revelries, however, so she took to entertaining groups of players in her room at the infamous mansion-turned-hotel known as the Garden of Allah on Sunset Blvd."

    The Garden of Allah! Mwah.


    LOL. We had a disco in London in the 70s called Garden of Allah disco, or some such.

    Can you imagine that today? It'd be bombed...

    Incidentally, do you mind if I post a comment to your ancient King Kong thread? I finally saw the thing, in HD.

    Oh please do!

    Actually, now is the perfect time, because with New Blogger, comes this new trick of appending the titles of the posts in post-replies.

    Before, you had to click on the reply and go search for all the posts to see where it could be (if the reply didn't elucidate it for you).

    New Blogger is great. I was scared there for a moment.

    And yes, I'm dying to hear your movie review or thoughts, JSU!

    Your taste in cinema, as in everything else, is IMPECCABLE.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 03:24:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Victoria, I love dogs and kids very much!!! :)

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Wed Feb 14, 04:08:00 pm GMT-5  

  • My nominee though is someone who preceded all of the above. Mata Hari. I mean, not only was she a dangerous woman on stage or on screen, but in the end she turned out to be a real spy. I bet thousands of allied soldiers in the trenches suffered a devastating kind of heartbreak when she was caught working for the Kaiser.

    And a couple of notes on her execution by firing squad:

    1. Prior to her execution there were about thirty attempts (by lovesick guys) to break into the prison where she was being held and rescue her. They all failed.

    2. The day of her execution, the soldiers in the firing squad refused to shoot at her, so the officers had to do it. Unfortunately for her, they were British officers (if they had been French officers, I bet they'd have figured out a way to have her escape).

    I'm sorry, but no one can compete in my mind with Mata Hari in this category-- no matter how dangerous a 'femme fatale' is, if she plays a spy in the movies then the danger/sexiness factor immediately doubles (hence the popularity of 'Bond girls'), and if she actually is a spy it goes off the charts.

    Your modern list is also somewhat incomplete. I mean, how could you miss Halle Berry? Beyonce Knowles is another 'blacktress' that is conspicuously absent.

    By Blogger Eli Blake, at Wed Feb 14, 04:26:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Great post Vicky, that's one way to melt the snow and heat up Valentine's Day.

    The ladies numbered 10,6,5,3 are my favourite sluts in no particular order.

    What about Jane Russell? Who wouldn't want a romp in the hay with her?;)

    Girl on girl action = 2 pairs of breasts and no chest hair(we hope). Now thats a good thing in my book!

    Happy Valentine's Day to my favourite blogger and her readers!:)

    By Blogger Renato, at Wed Feb 14, 04:44:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Outstanding choices! Thanks for the video of the Marie Dressler double-take - a classic if ever there was one, as was her delivery of the line "Oh my dear, that's something you will never have to worry about." Sublime.

    Busted me up.

    (& Happy Valentines Day!)

    By Blogger Internet Ronin, at Wed Feb 14, 04:51:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Victoria, I love dogs and kids very much!!! :)

    Oh boy, me and my big mouth!

    You know, one time, a boyfriend of mine asked me for a pair, so I sent it to him.

    He put it under his pillow, and though no one did, I wonder what excuse he would have used to his mother, had she found it there?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 05:40:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I stick my neck out, and get my head chopped off. Metaphorically, of course.

    Ahh, but no less painfully.

    I dunno. What doesn't kill me has made a tactical error.

    By Blogger I R A Darth, at Wed Feb 14, 05:55:00 pm GMT-5  

  • BTW, I thought it was really cool when you had two people write blogposts about things you had written yourself. This is kind of my idealized blogging; writing and replying, both in blog, and one's own. Excellent! You start the ball rolling!

    I, too, like kids; see the two posts below my Zingermans post!

    I see all the girl-on-girl explanations, and I still don't get it! It's not intellectual, it's selfish! I don't want her to expend all that horniness on anyone other than me! Is that so hard to get?

    The existing Audioblogger posts will be kept, so they say. I will let you know if I find a replacement, but Audioblogger was excellent!
    Perhaps this?

    http://www.gabcast.com/index.php?a=episodes&b=play&id=48&cast=5412

    "Harems of Harrogate" could be your bodice-ripper LeCarre novel!

    I just watched "It" to see Clara Bow again, and I must admit I was quite charmed by it!

    OT, and for your amusement!
    http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/

    By Blogger Ron, at Wed Feb 14, 05:57:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yeah, a guy tends to lose their sluts as they age, unless they stay bachelors.

    Like how you say, hello?

    Bachelor here. Unless I get side-swiped. Or Scarlett Johansen begs me to be her boy-toy.

    By Blogger I R A Darth, at Wed Feb 14, 05:58:00 pm GMT-5  

  • My nominee though is someone who preceded all of the above. Mata Hari.

    Oh surely. She was the archetype for Mae West.

    Other women who were larger-than-life sluts included:

    Lillian Russell
    Queen Marie of Romania
    Sarah Bernhardt

    I'll never truly understand why, but this is invariably the category of woman which gay men are attracted to.

    At least for their cross-dressing purposes. :)

    (But the point is, why? Some day, a gay male is going to have to explain it to me)

    I mean, not only was she a dangerous woman on stage or on screen, but in the end she turned out to be a real spy. I bet thousands of allied soldiers in the trenches suffered a devastating kind of heartbreak when she was caught working for the Kaiser.

    And sleeping with the Kaiser's son, Crown Prince "Willie"!

    And a couple of notes on her execution by firing squad:

    1. Prior to her execution there were about thirty attempts (by lovesick guys) to break into the prison where she was being held and rescue her. They all failed.


    You know, they had more honour in the French Revolution, believe it or not.

    When the guillotine failed to come down, or something happened, they let the perp walk.

    2. The day of her execution, the soldiers in the firing squad refused to shoot at her, so the officers had to do it.

    Bad form.

    Unfortunately for her, they were British officers (if they had been French officers, I bet they'd have figured out a way to have her escape).

    LOL! Well we did off Joan of Arc, who was a saint.

    Small wonder they didn't have pity on a slut!

    I'm sorry, but no one can compete in my mind with Mata Hari in this category-- no matter how dangerous a 'femme fatale' is, if she plays a spy in the movies then the danger/sexiness factor immediately doubles (hence the popularity of 'Bond girls'), and if she actually is a spy it goes off the charts.

    For sure, but she wasn't an old Hollywood actress. ;)

    Your modern list is also somewhat incomplete. I mean, how could you miss Halle Berry? Beyonce Knowles is another 'blacktress' that is conspicuously absent.

    Oh My God, seriously??

    Halle Berry and Beyoncé are classy. Not Classy Sluts, just classy.

    I mean, Rosey Perez is a Trashy Slut, but not Beyoncé!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 05:58:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Outstanding choices! Thanks for the video of the Marie Dressler double-take - a classic if ever there was one, as was her delivery of the line "Oh my dear, that's something you will never have to worry about." Sublime.

    Busted me up.

    (& Happy Valentines Day!)


    Thanks, Internet Ronin!

    Marie Dressler is one of my favourite actresses of all time.

    This buxom gal, born in Cobourg Ontario of German parents, was really the last of a dying breed of women, whom we can call:

    The Grande Dame Slut ;)

    Also in this category: Margaret Dumont, and Ethel Barrymore.

    In fact, we have more incomparable Mae Wests around, than we have Grande Dames around.

    Somewhere along the line, "redoubtable" became obsolete.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 06:02:00 pm GMT-5  

  • He put [Vic's knickers] under his pillow, and though no one did, I wonder what excuse he would have used to his mother, had she found it there?

    She probably would have been thrilled. Not only was her boy not gay, he actually had a girlfriend who liked him enough to let him sample the goods.

    By Blogger I R A Darth, at Wed Feb 14, 06:02:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I dunno. What doesn't kill me has made a tactical error.

    I'm of the same mind too, but not with ex-lovers.

    For them I have only forgetfulness to offer.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 06:07:00 pm GMT-5  

  • BTW, I thought it was really cool when you had two people write blogposts about things you had written yourself. This is kind of my idealized blogging; writing and replying, both in blog, and one's own. Excellent! You start the ball rolling!

    That is the Blogosphere we all want -- and in the shape of linkbacks, I think we are slowly achieving.

    A reciprocal, symbiotical, and yet never dull arena of giving.

    I, too, like kids; see the two posts below my Zingermans post!

    Aww, yes, I saw. :)

    I see all the girl-on-girl explanations, and I still don't get it! It's not intellectual, it's selfish! I don't want her to expend all that horniness on anyone other than me! Is that so hard to get?

    No, it's not!

    But for men, who are so visually stimulated, and sometimes they like the IDEA of seeing something transform itself into REALITY (hence why they are more prone to Jackass-type stunts).

    I can even...maybe...understand a man wanting to see two women in bed. But the real gross stuff is wanting to see your wife with another person, be it man or woman.

    What the hell...ladies, in case your husband makes you do that, he's just not that into you.

    http://www.gabcast.com/index.php?a=episodes&b=play&id=48&cast=5412

    Thanks! I'll check it out tomorrow. ;)

    "Harems of Harrogate" could be your bodice-ripper LeCarre novel!

    Only in Harrogate today, they have people who might just kill me if I wrote that...

    I just watched "It" to see Clara Bow again, and I must admit I was quite charmed by it!

    I liked Wings, best. :)

    But A LOT of the old silents are such fun, and do stand up to the test of time, don't they?

    OT, and for your amusement!
    http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/


    LOL! Thanks. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 06:14:00 pm GMT-5  

  • She probably would have been thrilled. Not only was her boy not gay, he actually had a girlfriend who liked him enough to let him sample the goods.

    I wouldn't think that if it were my own son! Eww! LOL. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 06:16:00 pm GMT-5  

  • And lastly, since I have to get ready to go out tonight -- Renato's post:

    Great post Vicky, that's one way to melt the snow and heat up Valentine's Day.

    I'm very very glad you enjoyed it.

    I mentioned all the Canadians just for you -- esp. since you just told me last night that Pam Anderson was Canadian, who knew?

    The ladies numbered 10,6,5,3 are my favourite sluts in no particular order.

    This tells me you like class looking sluts, who are trashy inside, perhaps.

    Best of both worlds. ;)

    What about Jane Russell? Who wouldn't want a romp in the hay with her?;)

    Brassy Slut! ;)

    She's a GREAT nomination.

    Girl on girl action = 2 pairs of breasts and no chest hair(we hope). Now thats a good thing in my book!

    *g*

    Renato, there is no way that you clicked on the Lea De Laria link above, because you must be thinking of fembots who are sharing a gay moment just for you.

    Because, as I say, this and this together, I just don't get.

    Happy Valentine's Day to my favourite blogger and her readers!:)

    Happy Valentine's Renato!

    And to all, a good tumbly night of fun. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Feb 14, 06:22:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I see all the girl-on-girl explanations, and I still don't get it! It's not intellectual, it's selfish! I don't want her to expend all that horniness on anyone other than me! Is that so hard to get?

    It's all about fantasy, not reality. My guess is that all of the frat boys who drool over the idea of two women together wouldn't be able to handle the reality of it.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Wed Feb 14, 06:28:00 pm GMT-5  

  • BTW, one thing that the girl-on-girl myth ignores is that a woman who's willing to have sex with another woman is, by definition, gay.

    Additionally, Gertrude Stein was one ugly man.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Wed Feb 14, 06:51:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ploorian:

    Ploorian said...

    "My guess is that all of the frat boys who drool over the idea of two women together wouldn't be able to handle the reality of it."

    My guess is that most of those frat boys would struggle to satisfy one real woman.

    "BTW, one thing that the girl-on-girl myth ignores is that a woman who's willing to have sex with another woman is, by definition, gay."

    Not necessarily.

    By Blogger Simon, at Wed Feb 14, 07:10:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Victoria,
    You nailed Barbara Stanwyck! "Brassy slut" that Lady Eve! And my favorite old-time actress to boot.

    By Blogger tcd, at Wed Feb 14, 08:15:00 pm GMT-5  

  • My guess is that most of those frat boys would struggle to satisfy one real woman.

    That is true.

    Not necessarily.

    Yeah, yeah, well IMO, once you've crossed the line into having sex with people of your own gender, you're gay. "Bisexuality" is just a way of not committing.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Wed Feb 14, 08:34:00 pm GMT-5  

  • What about Lady ;)

    Happy Valentine's Da..... erm... Happy St. Valentine's Day! ;)

    By Blogger Tigersan, at Thu Feb 15, 12:07:00 am GMT-5  

  • It's all about fantasy, not reality. My guess is that all of the frat boys who drool over the idea of two women together wouldn't be able to handle the reality of it.

    Hey, why is everyone hatin' on the fratboys?

    What, construction workers never ever have these thoughts? ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 01:35:00 am GMT-5  

  • Not necessarily.

    Heh! They have their own flag. :)

    Hey, do we straights have our own flag? Not that I would be caught dead flying it.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:08:00 am GMT-5  

  • Victoria,
    You nailed Barbara Stanwyck!


    I wish!

    "Brassy slut" that Lady Eve! And my favorite old-time actress to boot.

    Thanks, tcd. :)

    I adore the heck out of Barbara Stanwyck, and thank goodness she's had a mini-Renaissance of late.

    If anyone is up and has any interest in watching, Sorry Wrong Number is on at 4:15-6:00 AM EST. ;)

    (I'm off to bed!)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:10:00 am GMT-5  

  • On Turner Classic Movies, I meant!

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:11:00 am GMT-5  

  • Yeah, yeah, well IMO, once you've crossed the line into having sex with people of your own gender, you're gay. "Bisexuality" is just a way of not committing.

    As one psychiatrist close to me told me, bisexuality is unresolved homosexuality.

    Having said that, I think there is an element of sexuality between ANY two human beings -- regardless of gender, or relationship to each other.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:12:00 am GMT-5  

  • What about Lady ;)

    LOL!

    Lady from Lady And the Tramp...hmm, boy I hadn't realised how much "Tramp" had changed in meaning in Am-English until now.

    I easily could've named this:

    10 Trampiest (Old) Hollywood Actresses

    Happy Valentine's Da..... erm... Happy St. Valentine's Day!

    Thanks for dropping by Tigersan! ;)

    Happy St. Valentine's to you, in Okinawa!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:15:00 am GMT-5  

  • A Reply For Nimble Spemble over at Rantburg:

    (Since comments to that thread are closed at the moment)

    Excellent post, Victoria; but either Joan over Rita Hayworth?

    Doh! I'd still have chosen Joan Blondell, and Joan Crawford, but Rita Hayworth's absence is really lame on my part.

    What category to put her in though?

    My first thought is Trophy Slut, since men fawned all over her, from Orson Welles to Prince Aly Khan.

    But she's also the Dream Slut type, isn't she?

    "Put the blame on Mame, boys...!"

    Fantastic.

    When a fem can make brushing hair stimulating, she's a world class, I hesitate to use that word. You need to watch Gilda again.

    Gilda, sigh. I love that film.

    And Laura too! For very different reasons.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:42:00 am GMT-5  

  • Ooh, Gene Tierney...Classy Slut.

    Just ask Jack Kennedy.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:43:00 am GMT-5  

  • 10 Sluttiest (New) Hollywood Actresses

    Classy Slut - Glenn Close / Reese Witherspoon / Uma Thurman / Michelle Pfeiffer


    Reese Witherspoon is slutty? Really? Except for getting pregnant before she married that idiot, I had the impression that she was a "nice" girl.

    By Anonymous class facotum, at Thu Feb 15, 12:20:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Reese Witherspoon is slutty? Really? Except for getting pregnant before she married that idiot, I had the impression that she was a "nice" girl.

    No, I mean the characters she plays! ;)

    That one takes into account, even subconsciously, an actress' private life is no doubt true, though.

    Having said that, I don't know a THING about Joan Blondell's private life.

    And that's a good thing. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 01:16:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Hey, why is everyone hatin' on the fratboys?

    What, construction workers never ever have these thoughts? ;)


    Stereotype of convenience. Besides, how many construction workers do you see ogling two drunk chicks making out in Girls Gone Wild commericals?

    Heh! They have their own flag. :)

    Hey, do we straights have our own flag? Not that I would be caught dead flying it.


    Being straight is like being white--you don't get to be special.

    As one psychiatrist close to me told me, bisexuality is unresolved homosexuality.

    Yup. All I'm sayin' is, pick a team and stick with it.

    Having said that, I think there is an element of sexuality between ANY two human beings -- regardless of gender, or relationship to each other.

    Sure, but there's a fairly big difference between the existence of a sexual element and swapping fluids.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Thu Feb 15, 03:22:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Stereotype of convenience. Besides, how many construction workers do you see ogling two drunk chicks making out in Girls Gone Wild commericals?

    Touché, Ploorian, touché.

    However, if forced to answer I'd say it's because construction workers don't get free time off during the spring, to go make out on sandy beaches in Mejico, where coincidentally, the GGW guys are filming.

    Give them a camera, and they'd go to the honky tonks, bars, and the Discount Auto Parts stores where their female equivalents hang out.

    Being straight is like being white--you don't get to be special.

    Hysterical! Can I use this quote?

    Yup. All I'm sayin' is, pick a team and stick with it.

    But it's so much fun to go both ways!

    A sexual Donklephant.

    Sure, but there's a fairly big difference between the existence of a sexual element and swapping fluids.

    Don't I know it, I mean!, really?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:33:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Give them a camera, and they'd go to the honky tonks, bars, and the Discount Auto Parts stores where their female equivalents hang out.

    Fortunately, I've never seen this, though I've been to places where I've heard of it happening after I left.

    Story of my life--always the bridesmaid, never the bride...

    Hysterical! Can I use this quote?

    Have at it. I adhere to Open Source licensing when it comes to pithy quotes.

    But it's so much fun to go both ways!

    And I'm sure it's fun to hit a flyball and then run out and try to catch it yourself, but it sure confuses the rest of the players and messes up the rest of the game.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Thu Feb 15, 03:45:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Fortunately, I've never seen this, though I've been to places where I've heard of it happening after I left.

    Ah, yes.

    I believe the late Pope, John Paul II, said the same thing about democracy once.

    Have at it. I adhere to Open Source licensing when it comes to pithy quotes.

    You're wonderful! And possibly very poor.

    (Seriously though, if I make it into a Cafepress slogan, on a t-shirt or similar, I will give you almost 10% of the profits, but I'm generous that way)

    And I'm sure it's fun to hit a flyball and then run out and try to catch it yourself, but it sure confuses the rest of the players and messes up the rest of the game.

    LOL!! Another zinger.

    You're on fire today, Ploorian.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 05:03:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I believe the late Pope, John Paul II, said the same thing about democracy once.

    He sure did.

    You're wonderful! And possibly very poor.

    Don't get me started.

    (Seriously though, if I make it into a Cafepress slogan, on a t-shirt or similar, I will give you almost 10% of the profits, but I'm generous that way)

    I'm amazed CafePress is still around, though I always did think it was a good idea.

    LOL!! Another zinger.

    You're on fire today, Ploorian


    I majored in Sarcasm with a concentration in Sexual Inuendo.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Thu Feb 15, 05:43:00 pm GMT-5  

  • "there's a fairly big difference between the existence of a sexual element and swapping fluids."

    I offer my college days as proof of that proposition, were it needed.

    By Blogger Simon, at Thu Feb 15, 06:47:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I offer my college days as proof of that proposition, were it needed.

    Eeew?

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Thu Feb 15, 08:08:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ploorian - sadly, no. My (American) wife likes to say -- when she's not having an acute attack of "why did I marry this man" -- that "English girls are bloody stupid."

    By Blogger Simon, at Thu Feb 15, 11:17:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ploorian - sadly, no. My (American) wife likes to say -- when she's not having an acute attack of "why did I marry this man" -- that "English girls are bloody stupid."

    LOL, okay, now I get it.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Fri Feb 16, 02:22:00 pm GMT-5  

  • "As one psychiatrist close to me told me, bisexuality is unresolved homosexuality."

    In men, sure. In women? Not necessarily. Remember the monkey link?

    Which reminds me -- must write about Kong (in the comments of which the above link already resides). Tomorrow.

    By Blogger JSU, at Sat Feb 17, 12:42:00 am GMT-5  

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