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...a sweatshop of moxie

Monday, February 09, 2009

Jonathan Ross' Bafta Lispth

I had forgotten just how annoying Jonathan Ross' lisp was, after emigrating from the UK.

I am currently watching the Baftas, which were handed out just a few hours ago -- where he as host gave a little shoutout to Kate Winslet in the audience, not just teasing her about her two nominated films, and I quote:

"The Weader and Wevolutionawy Woad"

...but about her melodramatic weepiness at the Golden Globes.

"As long as you do it in a crisp 30 seconds, we're not going to complain. And just in case emotion does get the better of you -- and I think you know who I am talking about...KATE.

Camera pans to Winslet trying to fake-laugh her way through the joke.

And yes that is Robert Downey Jr. showing his gum to the world through parted lips. You stay classy, Robert.

However, Team Brangelina looked less amused. Brad Pitt has the face of a guy of our generation being stuck in a Joey Heatherton roast during the Buddy Hackett segment.

I'll be back with more thoughts after I finish watching it on the DVD-R. By way of spoiler, though, let's just say that Slumdogging is all the rage at the moment. Blech.


The 2008 Oscars Nominations

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  • Joey Heatherton roast

    Joey Heatherton?!? You are far too young for such memories, m'dear!


    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Feb 09, 04:38:00 am GMT-5  

  • "The Weader and Wevolutionawy Woad"

    Is that an upper crust RP thing or a speech impediment?

    By Anonymous Starless, at Mon Feb 09, 08:42:00 am GMT-5  

  • Speaking of Joey Heatherton<
    Superbowl 2 was held at Miami's Orange Bowl on January 14, 1968.
    The Oakland Raiders were expected to be destroyed by the Green Bay
    Packers, then the toughest team in the Black And Blue, the NFL's
    roughest division.
    Scheduled to sing the National Anthem was the pretty and popular Joey
    Heatherton, and the halftime show was to be provided by television's
    The Monkees.
    However, two days before the event, The Monkees had to bow out due to
    a contractual dispute between their parent company, Screen Gems, NBC,
    and CBS, the network broadcasting the game.
    Producers started doing a quick scramble to find suitable replacement
    entertainment, and on the advice of George Schlatter, contacted Judy
    Garland with an offer.
    As it turns out, not only was Judy a big footaball fan, but she was
    available, and excited to do the show.
    So with less than forty eight hours notice, she packed up her kids and
    orchestra leader Gene Palumbo, and flew from New York to Miami,
    arriving on January 13th just in time for a sound check and short
    Kick off for the game was at 3 P.M. on the 14th and commentaor's Frank Gifford
    Pat Summerall seemed just as excited by the prospect of
    the halftime show as they were by the game itself.
    The day was clear, sunny, and a warm 86 degrees. Judy had originally
    planned to wear the sequined pants suit that had been designed for her
    to wear in the film Valley Of The Dolls, but because of the heat she
    opted to wear a pink and silver chiffon mini dress borrowed from her
    fifteen year old daughter Lorna.
    By the end of the first half of the game the Packers were dominating
    the Raiders, as had been expected. But the real excitement was yet to
    As soon as announcer Gary Owens announced Judy's name there was
    a roar in the Orange Bowl that could be heard a mile away.
    Gene Palumbo hit the downbeat to Judy's chart of For Once In My Life
    and Judy trotted out and practically skipped to the center of the arena.
    Palumbo and the orchestra had to vamp for a full three minutes before
    the audience quieted down enough to let Judy sing.
    Judy's rendition of For Once In My Life was new to the audience and
    they were estatic to hear her sing a current popular song, and with
    such warmth and control to her voice. The ovation at the end of the
    song was as strong as it had been when she first entered the arena.
    Her second number was her movie medley, another popular choice, which
    became obvious as over 75,000 people sang along with her when
    prompted to during For Me And My Gal. Next came Just In Time with all
    of it's difficult key and tempo changes, Judy sang it to perfection,
    and with a freshness that made it seem as if this were the first time
    she had sung the song.
    She then introduced her daughter Lorna, who joined her for a joyful
    and swinging Jamboree Jones. After that, as Lorna was leaving the
    stage, Gene Palumbo and the orchestra started up Judy's reprise of For
    Once In My Life, which she sang with as much power and heart as she
    had at the begining of her set. Then it was over. Or was it?
    After Judy finished the reprise of For Once In My Life the orchestra
    started playing her bow music of Over The Rainbow which was drowned
    out by the cheers, whistles and screaming of the audience, who were
    all on their feet. Judy bowed and blew kisses as she ran off the
    playing field and the camera's cut back to Frank Gifford, who was
    trying to announce the start of the second half of the game, but to no avail.
    The crowd could not be stopped, the cheeering and stamping eventually
    gave way to the chant "We want Judy, we want Judy."
    After a full five minutes of this the producers had no choice but to
    prevail upon Judy to sing an encore. She agreed and reentered the
    playing field to absolute pandemonium!
    After the crowd died down Judy started singing Over The Rainbow solo,
    without the orchestra. Gene Palumbo and the musicians had to scramble
    to find all their parts, and one by one they joined Judy, all to great
    dramatic affect. Judy sang the song with all the longing and heartache
    that she had when she first sang it in The Wizard Of Oz, and as
    she sang the last line "why oh why can't I" a hush fell over the
    stadium. After a few seconds the still was broken when the voice of a
    young woman called out "Bravo, Mama." then all bets were off and it was
    New Years Eve again. Another five minutes later order was restored and
    the game continued without further incident.
    The Packers beat the Raiders 33 to 14 that day, Bart Starr was named MVP, but
    he gallantly presented his trophy to Judy saying that he "may be the game's MVP
    but Judy is the world's most valuable player" (unfortunately for her he
    didn't also give her the 25,000 cash prize that went with the the
    Another player in the game who received considerable attention was
    Greenbay Linesman Jerry Kramer, who would be befriended by Judy. In
    fact, they would later appear together in a fun and flirtatious romp
    on the Tonight Show.

    To learn more about Judy Garland please read The World's Greatest
    Entertainer by John Fricke, or Rainbows End By Coyne Steven Sanders.
    To learn more about this period of the NFL's history, and it's
    roughest division, pick up a copy of The Black And Blue by Bob

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Feb 09, 04:53:00 pm GMT-5  

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