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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Phone for the fish wives, Norman!

(Blimey. Plaidgate has been Wiki'ed. Snopes.com will go out of business at this rate!)

I was intrigued to read that our old British bugbear, class, has raised its ugly head again, as people wonder if certain politicians can be, "Too Posh To Win?".

That was the question posed by the readers of the Political Betting site, and picked up by a few bloggers on Monday.

Since the actual topic of which man would be the more "backable" candidate for the Tory leadership is of narrow interest to me on this blog, I am going to give it an American twist, and a topical one at that.

During the mad rush to get information on the current nominee to the US Supreme Court, Judge John G. Roberts, Jr., many people were in a tizzy of excitement that he had attended an all-male boarding school as a lad called, La Lumiere School.

John Roberts at La Lumiere School, circa 1972. Is this the wardrobe of a gay guy? You're damn right it is

The actual reasons as to why certain people were excited, have some fuzzy logic attached about his possible sexuality -- the inference being that a man who was surrounded by all boys in his formative sexual years, grappling with them during Graeco-Roman bouts in the school gym, or participating in school plays called "Peppermint Patty", can only be guessed at.

This is all the more amusing when you consider that gung-ho Neo-Con hawkmeister Donald Rumsfeld was good enough for the US Olympic team in Graeco-Roman wrestling, or that several Kennedy males went through Harvard club initiation rites which featured having to dress as women.

In fact, a favourite Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. photo of mine was of this brawny, brawling Irish-American man shown with peeping chest hair in his ample cleavage, powdering his pouting face, as he applied lipstick in full drag, off to a merry Hasty Pudding soirée.

Damn if I can't find that photo online, though.

One wonders if that wonderfully courageous, but misguided Naval air mission that took his life had not gotten him first, that if this photo would've precluded him from running as President later in life?

And the answer is no, obviously not.

Just ask Rudy Giuliani, future Republican Party nominee for President in 2008.



I don't know about you, but I think it's high time Americans had a bewigged panto dame as President.

(And no, Thomas Jefferson doesn't count -- boom tish!)

So what could be the reason for this hormonal interest in poor Dudley Do-Right's orientation? Could it be because he's a Republican?

Well, no, as I have just shown with Rudy G.

And obviously, everyone is aware that George W. Bush attended toney Phillips Andover academy, then all-male too, where he majored in horseplay and minored in keg parties...as Pep Squad cheerleader.

Let's not forget that he married über-tardy, after mutual friends of his and Laura hooked both these two thirtysomethings up, since they were the "last two unmarried people" in their social circle.

But you don't hear gay patriots claiming him as secretly one of their own, now do you? No.



In fact, his opposing factor in the November 2004 elections, Senator John Foster Kerry, attended a few all-male prep schools, including one in Switzerland.

I mean, it doesn't get more metrosexual than that, right? Right.

Here is a rundown of the last US Presidents and where they studied

  • Bush 43 [R] - Phillips Andover, all-male boarding school
  • Clinton [D] - Hot Springs High School, co-ed but very active in Boys Nation
  • Bush 41 [R] - Phillips Andover, all-male boarding school
  • Reagan [R] - Dixon High School, co-ed public school
  • Carter [D] - Plains High School, co-ed public school but attended then all-male US Naval Academy at Annapolis
  • Ford [R] - South High School, co-ed public school
  • Nixon [R] - Fullerton High School and Whittier High School, co-ed public high schools
  • Johnson [D] - Johnson City High School, co-ed public high school
  • Kennedy [D] - Choate Academy, all-male boarding school
  • Eisenhower [R] - Abilene High School, co-ed public school, but attended then all-male US Military Academy at West Point
  • Truman [D] - Independence High School, public school, status unknown in 1901
  • Roosevelt [D] - Choate Academy, all-male boarding school


  • That's 4 out of the last 12 US Presidents with all-male boarding school educations -- 2 Democrats, and 2 Republicans.

    It's fairly certain that each of these future Commanders-in-Chief showered in the vicinity of naked, nubile boys, grappled with them during football drills, gave each other the ole wet towel treatment just before bedtime.

    So you're telling me that none of these future Presidents played Hide the Salami in one of their classmates' lockboxes?

    Choate, before it went co-ed as Choate-Rosemary, was even infamous in its day for the rather cryptic saying, "If you can't get a girl, get a Choatie".

    Yipes.

    But, I thought to myself as I listed these educational backgrounds for each President, could it be that Americans are a little unused to a more elite schooling background, and lack of familiarity is breeding speculation? Is it a question of class, and not sexuality, which throws these gossipmongers for a loop?

    But here's another wrinkle -- what if it's John Roberts' undoubted middle-classness which makes him more accessible for these half-winks than the crown princes of politics like Bush père et fils, Kennedy or Roosevelt?

    I mean, what do most Americans know from Choate or Andover? They're as unfathomable and alien as Arianna Huffington.

    Actually, it might just have to do with Judge Roberts himself.

    He's very vanilla, easy-does-it, with his altar boy good looks, and too tasteful pastel family. And frankly, people are bored in summer.

    We need to stir things up, because you can only amuse yourself looking at Giuliani as Dame Edna Everage so long.

    But I bet you a fair bit of brass, that if he had attended a red-blooded, co-ed public school rather than the prissy-sounding, La Lumiere School (a name more swallowable as Kerry's Swiss school, than one in freaking INDIANA), we might just still be blogging about how Karl Rove sent Matt Cooper mind-control rays.

    In closing, here is the opening stanza of John Betjeman's famed "Non-U" mocking poem called, How to Get On in Society:

    Phone for the fish knives, Norman
    As cook is a little unnerved;
    You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
    And I must have things daintily served.

    That's just it, you see.

    John Roberts is a dish too dainty to serve up, but just thank Christ he isn't British and doesn't sound posh, or else the blog comadres would plotz.

    Voluntary Disclosure: The authoress of this blog is a graduate of an all-female boarding school, in England yet, who slept and showered with 35 other girls, and furthermore, she played Romeo in the school play, Romeo & Juliet. Her parents are very proud.

    9 Comments:

    • So what did you hide in one of your classmates' lockboxes, Vic?

      By Blogger Kullrad, at Tue Jul 26, 08:07:00 am GMT-4  

    • Oh you know, the usual.

      You know how it is, Kully. One doesn't like to boast about buttplugs.

      Cheers,
      Victoria

      By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Jul 26, 12:48:00 pm GMT-4  

    • I'm the survivor of ten years of single sex education myself--six years of prep school and four years of a women's college.

      For all I know, I'm a repressed muff-diver.

      Maybe I should try to get onto the Supreme Court, or failing that, talk Hillary Clinton into letting me run as the Democratic candidate for VP in 2008.

      All that field hockey should be good for something.

      --P.

      By Blogger Poppy Buxom, at Tue Jul 26, 08:55:00 pm GMT-4  

    • This comment has been removed by the author.

      By Blogger Poppy Buxom, at Tue Jul 26, 09:08:00 pm GMT-4  

    • Sorry for the double comments.

      Blogger clearly has a thing for lipstick lesbians.

      --P.

      By Blogger Poppy Buxom, at Tue Jul 26, 09:09:00 pm GMT-4  

    • In a related lipstick lesbian note, my cable company changed around all my channels, although they did add the NFL TV channel, as well as "Logo", advertised as the first same-sex cable channel in the US.

      Someone in that cable company is trying to tell me something.

      Cheers,
      Victoria

      By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Jul 27, 01:54:00 am GMT-4  

    • "co-ed but very active in Boys Nation"

      Priceless.

      First time visitor. Impressed.

      And yes, Rudy Can't Fail.

      By Blogger Knemon, at Wed Jul 27, 02:34:00 pm GMT-4  

    • Actually Knemon I wanted to evoke famous pic of Bill Clinton shaking hands with his hero, JFK.

      Chris Matthews called JFK that "the guy Clinton had a crush".

      "Very active in Boys Nation" hits that spot. *g*

      Thanks for the compliment. Come again. ;)

      Cheers,
      Victoria

      By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Jul 27, 02:43:00 pm GMT-4  

    • It’s really informative stuff. I really like to read.Hope to learn a lot and have a nice experience here! my best regards guys!


      Term papers

      By Blogger Term Papers, at Tue Jan 26, 06:18:00 am GMT-5  

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