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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Friday, February 02, 2007

I'm Lovin' It

It's happened at least once, to all of us. Suddenly, you have to go.

In most countries, that's not a problem.

One heads to the nearest public restroom, whereby you stick a coin into the slot, open the stall door, do your biness, go out, wash your hands (hopefully), give the old age pensioner -- who maintains the facilities bug-free with the fierceness of a dominatrix -- a dirty look and possibly a few pennies (she'll hunt you down like a dog, if you dare forget), and walk out to amble onto your next destination, relieved of excess body liquid.

But see, in America, especially in the newer cities, it's a little trickier.

The idea of the public restroom really never caught on, since it smacks of Socialist potties.

So what is a person to do in the US, if they need to heed the call of nature, a phrase which always evoked bird calls and flowering plants in my opinion, but head to the nearest grubby fast food or chain restaurant, and use their pisser, right?

Right.

Thus, was your humble blogger's predicament a fortnight ago, when I heard these bird mating calls deep within me, and realised I best pull over into this handy McDonald's restaurant, near Ft. Lauderdale.

Without casting a glance around me, because concentration is all important during such times, I'm sure you'll agree, I charged into the Ladies, with grateful thanks. Whew, just in time.

That's when it hit me:

Hmm, this Mickey D's sure looks good.

For one, the restroom was as clean as the proverbial whistle.





I judge so much by toilets, don't you?

If you've ever been to Russia, you'll know what I mean.





Closing the apple green door behind me, a colour I had hitherto not associated with the Golden Arches, I realised I was in the presence of fast food chic.

Sheah, this place is niiiiice. Word yo.

(Sorry, won't happen again)





Not only did it have three plasma screens in thoughtfully located places, but it had fresh cut carnations, in charming little vases on each and every table.

I mean, please, you don't even get that at Red Lobster.





And just look at these little barstool chairs: the design is a cross between Miami Beach Art Deco and 1950s Ikea cool.

I just LOVE the triangle pedestals, too, though frankly I can't see a 300 lb. woman, the kind oft-found at McDonald's, after all...hopping onto one of these stools.

I guess that's what the new Asian salads are for, though.

Mmm, salad. I'm hungry now.





I mainly took this photo not to showcase the rather boring coffee and condiments area (obviously a holdover from the previous design), but to point out this little girl's sneakers-cum-rollerblades thingie.

In my day, if we wanted to rollerblade around with our sneakers on, we strapped on these things, and prayed not to break our necks.

But this kid just doesn't want to know. She's all, "lookit, I match the cool décor of this retro-post-modern McDonald's, and you SO don't".

Yeah, well, your dad is ginger, haha.





This man and I jostled for position to view CNN (muted, by the way, hence the hard-of-hearing captions -- what's the point?) on the plasma. He won this round.

Anyway, I had to leave, having tarried too long, admiring the scenery. The only thing I didn't like, was the rather dowdy upholstery in the booths.

For all the world, that beige and brown looked like it belonged in the Brady Bunch household, circa 1971. Simply hideous.

And yet, somehow it went well with the rest of the furnishings, which I suppose is rather the point.





Check out the sign above the chippy-wotsit.

"Keep Your Eyes on the Fries".

A little Super Bowl XLI humour for you.

But yes, McDonald's have taken their New Look image to heart, not only with healthier foods, and caloric-conscious water and salad combos, but also making sure a visit to McDonald's is not only done via automobile in the drive-thru -- because you wouldn't be caught dead inside such a tasteless dump.

As each Ronald McDonald emporium gets its new make-over, coming to a neighbourhood near you, no doubt, you too will have the pleasure of having this eye-candy at your disposal.

Not that I will be hanging around, if and when the New Look comes to my local M.D.





I was always a BK girl, myself.

Labels: ,

23 Comments:

  • That's very perceptive what you say about toilets. You ought to see the state of the average British Mc Donalds's ..!..

    I came across your blog quite randomly by the way, clicking next next on top of mine ... you're welcome to pay me a visit if you like, I'm at gledwood2.blogspot.com. Very different blog to you. Take care now ... Gledwood

    By Anonymous gledwood, at Fri Feb 02, 06:02:00 am GMT-5  

  • And of course, no one blinked an eye about you taking photographs in the loo.

    Lol about the photograph of "you" being a BK girl. An interesting post might be a collection of pictures you claim to be you've posted in the past for newcomers like gledwood. (You know, like the naked Twister ones. Yeah, them.) Hilarity would certainly ensue.

    By Blogger Pete, at Fri Feb 02, 07:15:00 am GMT-5  

  • I had to take a women's history class in college, (don't ask!) and was "informed" about the sexual subtext of commercials. When I heard that phrase, I immediately stood up and said, "Ladies, you can have it your way, and we do it all for you, but it takes two hands to handle a Whopper!"

    Part of my stinker heritage...

    By Blogger Ron, at Fri Feb 02, 09:34:00 am GMT-5  

  • In the '80's, McDonalds was a pretty good bet for a clean restroom. Today, it's Starbucks.

    When I was a child, whenever we went to a restaurant while on vacation or some place out of the ordinary, after being seated my dad would excuse himself and check out the restroom. We walked out of a lot of places upon his return ;-)

    By Blogger Internet Ronin, at Fri Feb 02, 11:18:00 am GMT-5  

  • Sweet Jesus! That poor girl, she hasn't seen her feet since she was 10 or so...

    I still refuse to eat at Mickey D's.

    By Blogger I R A Darth Aggie, at Fri Feb 02, 12:52:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ha! I thought I was the only one who took photos of restrooms and posted them! Does your mother get annoyed at this? Mine does, but I do it anyhow.

    The French (oh, the French), for all they whine about l'imperialism americaine, were the only ones I saw in the McDonald's on the Champs when I stopped in to use the restroom a couple of years ago. There wasn't any toilet paper. I guess *that* would be *too* American.

    By Anonymous Class factotum, at Fri Feb 02, 03:06:00 pm GMT-5  

  • That's very perceptive what you say about toilets. You ought to see the state of the average British Mc Donalds's ..!..

    I have, I have. ;)

    I came across your blog quite randomly by the way, clicking next next on top of mine ...

    Though I haven't used it, since I first signed up on Blogger, I must say that's a handy tool they have.

    I like its randomness factor, because which blogs you read, are too predicated on your personal tastes, I'm afraid -- and that gets a bit boring.

    Why, once I was taken to an Otaku's blog, full of anime references I hadn't a clue about! My pulse raced in excitement!

    you're welcome to pay me a visit if you like, I'm at gledwood2.blogspot.com. Very different blog to you. Take care now ... Gledwood

    Thanks, Gledwood, I did snipe a peak, and I promise to check you out, further. :)

    Come back any time, here too! Different is sometimes nice.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Feb 02, 03:22:00 pm GMT-5  

  • And of course, no one blinked an eye about you taking photographs in the loo.

    Now, see, this is guy logic.

    Men wee in urinals, side-by-side, and thus whipping out...a camera!...midstream, would be looked on in askance.

    But we ladies have doors to our potties, so no one saw me whip mine out. As it were.

    Lol about the photograph of "you" being a BK girl.

    Trust you to notice, my dear Pete. ;)

    An interesting post might be a collection of pictures you claim to be you've posted in the past for newcomers like gledwood. (You know, like the naked Twister ones. Yeah, them.)

    Fancy you remembering that. Fancy.

    Hilarity would certainly ensue.

    This is me on my new chair. We're going for the minimalist look, all around.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Feb 02, 03:26:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Part of my stinker heritage...

    Oh! I didn't know you were part stinker, Ron. That's like Shakers with ugly furniture, right?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Feb 02, 03:28:00 pm GMT-5  

  • In the '80's, McDonalds was a pretty good bet for a clean restroom.

    Yeah! But what did Americans do before the days of the Big Mac? Diners and gas stations, exclusively, I'm guessing.

    Today, it's Starbucks.

    Always so clean, wherever I have gone.

    The anti-globalisation folks must hate them for that.

    If only they didn't offer such amenable surroundings, clean, safe and pleasing to the eye, as well as overburnt coffee.

    A protester can but dream.

    When I was a child, whenever we went to a restaurant while on vacation or some place out of the ordinary, after being seated my dad would excuse himself and check out the restroom.

    Interestingly, road stop potties are the one public restroom Americans know better than other societies.

    In England, though distances are not by any stretch of the imagination, long, it's still quite common to see a man by the side of the road, weeing.

    And chances are, somewhere close, is a woman squatting near a tree.

    We walked out of a lot of places upon his return ;-)

    Wow. Your dad was harsh. I like him.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Feb 02, 03:32:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Sweet Jesus! That poor girl, she hasn't seen her feet since she was 10 or so...

    Heh, true. But somehow, I think she doesn't care. :)

    I still refuse to eat at Mickey D's.

    Why comes?

    P.S.: Actually, I tell a lie. I like Mickey Ds as much, if not more than BK. But I haven't had a Big Mac since 1994. My fave is the Number 10 combo -- the fish sandwich. Yummy.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Feb 02, 03:34:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ha! I thought I was the only one who took photos of restrooms and posted them!

    We are legion.

    Actually, C-F, I have a thing for toilets (and graves, but that's another blogpost). I always take a pic of WCs wherever I travel.

    You won't find a single snap of the Mona Lisa in my albums, but the Louvre lav, that I got.

    Does your mother get annoyed at this? Mine does, but I do it anyhow.

    No, she just thinks I'm barmy. She's used to it, by now, though.

    "Eengleesh, pfff. Krazee."

    The French (oh, the French), for all they whine about l'imperialism americaine, were the only ones I saw in the McDonald's on the Champs when I stopped in to use the restroom a couple of years ago. There wasn't any toilet paper. I guess *that* would be *too* American.

    Now, now. Let's not do to them, what they do to us -- infer a whole conclusion, based on one mere happenstance!

    Maybe they had just run out?

    Anyway, you don't want to be using their public toilet TP...trust me.

    Ouch.

    P.S.: Was it an unisex WC? The one at Printemps is. As well, as almost everywhere else...I'm sorry, but that's just wrong. I don't want my dad in the stall next to me, when I'm powdering me nose.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Feb 02, 03:40:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yes, I'd like fries with those. :)

    I actually prefer the flame broiled taste of BKs to the Big Mac. But if you love Big Macs why not step up and try the Mega Mac!

    Must be the first time Big Mac and nutritional energy have been used in the same sentence.

    By Blogger Renato, at Sat Feb 03, 01:09:00 am GMT-5  

  • Yes, I'd like fries with those. :)

    Gives a whole new meaning to Super Size Me, huh?

    I actually prefer the flame broiled taste of BKs to the Big Mac.

    As I say, I haven't had a Big Mac in EONS, but I love love love their Fish Sandwich (and rib sandwich).

    But if you love Big Macs why not step up and try the Mega Mac! Must be the first time Big Mac and nutritional energy have been used in the same sentence.

    OMG!

    QUOTING FROM ARTICLE:

    Each Mega Mac contains 754 kilocalories of nutritional energy, and the popularity of the hamburger exceeded the restaurant chain's expectations.

    "It's the first time that we've had a shortage of a hamburger," a company representative said. "I guess the convenience of being able to hold a decent meal in one hand has gotten the thumbs-up, especially from young men."


    Japanese will be freaks of nature if they consume these burgers. I mean, did you see it??

    Someone stop the insanity!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Feb 03, 01:50:00 am GMT-5  

  • Wow. Your dad was harsh. I like him.

    Yes, he was picky. (As you may know, he passed away just last week.) IIRC, in those days, going to the restroom usually took you by the kitchen so he could see in there too.

    it's still quite common to see a man by the side of the road, weeing.

    When we're on back roads trips in the Model A's, this happens on occasion. (And yes, the women are on the other side of the road ;-)

    As I say, I haven't had a Big Mac in EONS, but I love love love their Fish Sandwich

    I knew there was a reason I liked you! Once again, we agree.

    By Blogger Internet Ronin, at Sat Feb 03, 09:08:00 am GMT-5  

  • V,

    No, every restroom I've used in France has been sex-specific, fortunately, although I have used the cool porta-potty thing on the street -- the kind that you put your two francs into and it steam cleans itself afterwards. Mine even played "Like a Virgin" while I was going about my business.

    As far as TP, I learned during my time in South America to always carry a supply of paper with me when I traveled.

    The ubiquity of public restrooms is one of the things I love the most about my country. I lived in Chile for two years and came back to the US over land (took ten weeks). It is not easy to find a place to pee in Latin America. Not easy at all. I love the US (and the UK, in this respect). As you so rightly noted, all you have to do is find a McDonald's and all is well.

    By Anonymous Class factotum, at Sat Feb 03, 10:47:00 am GMT-5  

  • Yes, he was picky. (As you may know, he passed away just last week.)

    Oh honey, I'm so so sorry. My deepest condolences to you and your family. :(

    I had no idea, no, else I might not have used such a flippant tone.

    IIRC, in those days, going to the restroom usually took you by the kitchen so he could see in there too.

    Actually, I can one-up this.

    My grandfather, mum's side, used to enter the kitchen of renowned restaurants, BEFORE sitting down to eat. He would pay the Chef and his commis his compliments, saying that he is putting them on their mettle, having heard what exceptional cookery came out of the place.

    Odd, but it worked. Mother says wherever they ate, they ate like kings. ;)


    When we're on back roads trips in the Model A's, this happens on occasion. (And yes, the women are on the other side of the road ;-)


    Ooh, you have a model A?

    Check this out, love, you might enjoy it then.

    And in fact, tell me what it is. ;)

    I knew there was a reason I liked you! Once again, we agree.

    See!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Feb 03, 01:09:00 pm GMT-5  

  • No, every restroom I've used in France has been sex-specific, fortunately,

    Yeah. Men don't like it, because there are no urinals, and you actualy have to sit down I presume.

    First they got rid of the street pissoirs, now this.

    Why does French culture love to feminise its men?

    (Hmm, pissoirs, interesting blogpost topic!)

    although I have used the cool porta-potty thing on the street -- the kind that you put your two francs into and it steam cleans itself afterwards. Mine even played "Like a Virgin" while I was going about my business.

    Ooh, I haven't seen that yet! Sounds fantastic, and yet further proof that Madonna is a total sell-out, hehe.

    Plus, it sounds like the "Mickey Mouse Club" playing bed in the honeymoon suite at Disney.

    As far as TP, I learned during my time in South America to always carry a supply of paper with me when I traveled.

    There you go. That's exactly where I had to do that, too.

    That harsh pink paper...

    The ubiquity of public restrooms is one of the things I love the most about my country.

    When Americans are in whatever country they've travelled to, some love to put down American things, in favour of whatever they have now. I appreciate that they are falling in love with their surroundings, but I don't like this compare-contrast which makes everything US bad.

    I notice, however, that by the time they're ready to come home, they're fed up with no ice cubes, no hot water for baths, no air-conditioning, and the TP. :)

    I lived in Chile for two years and came back to the US over land (took ten weeks).

    Hippy! ;)

    J/K. Maybe you wanted to see Peru's mountains, and coastal towns, which are exceptional -- I myself went through them.

    It is not easy to find a place to pee in Latin America. Not easy at all.

    No, it ain't. Restauranteers shoo one away, angry at the imposition and temerity, even if you're a gringa.

    And you just don't want to go anywhere else...filthy. Even at the Hotel Crillon, in Peru, some of the washrooms were very poor, indeed.

    They tell me things are a little better than when we went in 1991, though.

    I love the US (and the UK, in this respect). As you so rightly noted, all you have to do is find a McDonald's and all is well.

    Huzzah!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Feb 03, 01:19:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Oh honey, I'm so so sorry. My deepest condolences to you and your family. :(

    Thank you. (And here I thought you were visiting my blog daily ;-) Seriously, there's a short story about it at my blog that you might enjoy.

    And in fact, tell me what it is. ;)

    It's a 1928 or '29 Model A Ford pick-up. (Most likely a '29 as far more of them were made.) I have a 1929 Sport Coupe and a 1931 AA tow truck. I've driven the Sport Coupe as far north as Vancouver BC, and south to the Mexican border, through Death Valley, behind Mt. St. Helens, and circled Mt. Hood and Mt. Rainier a couple of times. And many, many trips to the Pacific Northwest via the Oregon Coast.

    One of dad's cars is pictured somewhere on my blog: a '29 Tudor Sedan. Some day I will upload a picture of his '29 roadster pick-up. Fun cars

    By Blogger Internet Ronin, at Sat Feb 03, 01:48:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Thank you. (And here I thought you were visiting my blog daily ;-)

    Aww man. In fact, oddly enough, I did visit your webpage some time ago...not just soon enough. :((

    Seriously, there's a short story about it at my blog that you might enjoy.

    I am there now, but I will check it out later too. :)

    It's a 1928 or '29 Model A Ford pick-up. (Most likely a '29 as far more of them were made.)

    Wow, you know just like that, huh?!

    I have a 1929 Sport Coupe and a 1931 AA tow truck. I've driven the Sport Coupe as far north as Vancouver BC, and south to the Mexican border, through Death Valley, behind Mt. St. Helens, and circled Mt. Hood and Mt. Rainier a couple of times. And many, many trips to the Pacific Northwest via the Oregon Coast.

    Death Valley, Mt. St. Helens?? You kwazy, or what? What if you had broken down?

    One of dad's cars is pictured somewhere on my blog: a '29 Tudor Sedan. Some day I will upload a picture of his '29 roadster pick-up. Fun cars

    This young guy was in his vintage pickup with a Christmas tree at the back. It was in the carpark of the Coral Gables Publix, near Miracle Mile, presumably after having picked out his tree near the Riviera Firestation (the Firemen there, sell Christmas trees for charity) on Grenada.

    I remember thinking, turn around, turn around, yes! money shot, because a man like that -- well, he's special. He was handsome, did his chores, and had great taste in cars.

    What more can you ask. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Feb 03, 02:00:00 pm GMT-5  

  • BTW, Victoria, one of the oddmints I do to make a peso or two, is that I get paid to eat at McDonalds! It's not much, but I get paid for the food plus $7-8, just to rate them...

    By Blogger Ron, at Sat Feb 03, 03:10:00 pm GMT-5  

  • My mother told stories about road traveling during the '50s. Back then, restaurants were not so nice about bathroom use ("Buy something or get out."). So, pulling to the side of the road and peeing in the bushes was apparently common.

    Of course, now there are many more rest stops on in the interstate highway system, so it's less of a problem.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Feb 22, 12:00:00 am GMT-5  

  • next time i go to mc donalds i tink i will be supersized cos u looked great

    By Blogger tiptontopgun, at Sun Apr 01, 12:46:00 pm GMT-4  

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