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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Monday, September 26, 2005

Wead

Monday was a very hectic day, as can be imagined due to my lack of blogging for which, I apologise, but not too much.

Some people have lives outside of Blogosphere, you know. And then there's Daily Kos.

I ferried my mother around all day Monday, since I adore driving, and she gets nervous when she has to meet our lawyer for this-that-or-the-Last-Will-and-Testament-other.

But when waiting for her outside a Citibank branch, I was seated inside the car, minding my own biness, listening to NPR complaining about too much Federal involvement in the hurricane aftermath (you can't win!!), when suddenly I saw a black lady approach my car.

When strangers approach your car, asking for you to roll down your window, you:

  • Pretend you don't notice and start calling someone, anyone on the mobile


  • Smile and pretend you have Special Needs (note: you're screwed if they actually know sign-language)


  • Check out the jewelry; if they have none, ignore. If they're wearing Bulgari, they're probably your mother's friend asking when you are getting married, whereupon you hit the accelerator


  • Roll down the window and actually talk to them (sucka!)


  • I chose a bit of options 2 and 3 combined.

    And for being weak and indecisive, like Tsar Nicholas II, I got stuck with a lunatic religious evangelist at my side.

    "No, thanks, I'm okay. Thank you. Goodbye."

    "Woll down the window." (Ah, she's Haitian to boot)

    "No, no, I'm fine. Really. Goodbye."

    "It's important."

    (I start to look for my mobile)

    "It will save you."

    "Oh, God. A mordant evangelist. Help!" (thinks)

    She takes out a little pre-written slip of paper with the words "God is...Happiness" printed on it, with the words Ezekiel Chapter 5 on it in blue ink.

    "Wead it! It's important. It will save you!"

    "Just because I used sign language at you, doesn't mean I'm really deaf, sheesh." (thinks)

    "Okay, I will! Promise."

    "Wead it!"

    "Gotcha."


    Then she left, thankfully not a moment too soon, as my mother would've brained her with her Bulgari watch.

    Turns out that the lady had been harrassing bank customers inside with the same dippy zeal, handing out cards and flyers to read this-that-or-the-Old-Testament-other, whereupon the manager had to ask her to leave.

    Not that crass materialists who hang out in banks are not in need of a little spiritual guidance, you'll agree, but I find this attitude annoying.

    Maybe it's the urbane, self-important Roman Catholic inside me, but the Born Againers just don't get it.

    Banking hours are sacred.

    Where are they when the cops pull me over for parking illicitly in Handicapped spaces?

    P.S.: No, I never did look up Ezekiel Chapter 5 in my newly-purchased Bible (yeah, I finally got one, what?). My mother got it into my head that it might be vodoun at work, and being my mother's daughter, i.e. superstitious, I only Googled a bit of it. Something about Jerusalem, knives, and some place called Manasseh, which I'm sure doesn't have ATMs. Turns out Moses was a Rolex man, though. Bloody nouveau riche.

    4 Comments:

    • Another funny post! Some of these zealots can be a pain, but thankfully most move on when you ignore them. You seem to be a fan of NPR. Do you think it is a good idea to spend tax dollars on NPR?

      By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Tue Sep 27, 09:00:00 am GMT-4  

    • Another funny post! Some of these zealots can be a pain, but thankfully most move on when you ignore them.

      Yeah, actually I was astonished she took my obvious rudeness to what she was saying so well.

      My mother says, however, that SHE never gets the loonies approaching her -- and I said, no kidding.

      My mother has "Don't mess with me, coñó" written all over her -- in blue ink. ;)

      You seem to be a fan of NPR. Do you think it is a good idea to spend tax dollars on NPR?

      Jose, I don't believe in spending tax dollars for ANYTHING outside of defence and education. :)

      But if pressed (tightly), I would admit that at least it gives these people no chance of saying the government are not funding a lefty-liberal entity which opposes their views even if it is a Democrat in the White House (if you can remember that far back).

      You know what I mean?

      Cheers,
      Victoria

      By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Sep 27, 09:08:00 am GMT-4  

    • Agree, defence and education, and we need to do much better at spending in both of those areas!!

      As to NPR, if tax dollars continue to be used, then NPR should be more Fair and Balanced a la Fox!!!

      By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Tue Sep 27, 09:43:00 am GMT-4  

    • Agree, defence and education, and we need to do much better at spending in both of those areas!!

      Jeb (aka Bush 44, H/T: JSU) is trying. :)

      As to NPR, if tax dollars continue to be used, then NPR should be more Fair and Balanced a la Fox!!!

      Come on Jose, even I don't believe Fox is fair and balanced!

      OTOH, what people don't understand about Fox News is that by being a conservative news entity, they give cable news networks a more fair and balanced approach to their entrenched media elite viewpoints.

      No one can complain about that. Although they do anyway.

      P.S.: "Unfortunately", the only way NPR can stay afloat, is primarily through tax dollars at work. When that side of the aisle went private, they have hardly been a success.

      Air America has been riddled with corruption scandals, and is near death.

      (puts away her paddles)

      Cheers,
      Victoria

      By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Sep 27, 10:21:00 am GMT-4  

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