.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

International Shopping

Blogging has been light, and unusually airy, even for me, because of my wisdom tooth travails.

Whenever I find myself putting finger to keyboard to compose a weightier blogpost or emailing, the painkiller I am taking reminds me I have only jumbled thoughts at the mo'.

So today is fun day on Sundries! High-Five!

THE JOYS OF BEING FOREIGN

You know, being from another country has its advantages, but also some unforseen drawbacks, especially around Christmas hols.

For it is around this time of the year, that I go on my shopping forays to buy my various relatives around the world, an extra-small, medium or large token of my affections.

Unfortunately, that's when a spanner gets thrown in the otherwise well-oiled works.

Some genius out there decided to let each continent (even each country) have its own measurement system.

So if I want to buy my British cousin Reggie a pair of trainers -- sneakers to you -- at cut-rate outlet mall prices, only dreamt of in the UK at High Street shops, I have to Google yearly for shoe size conversions.

This is quite annoying.

Especially as Reggie is such a heel. But hey, even a heel has a sole, right?

(Did I say it's "fun day on Sundries!"? I meant pun day. Sorry)

Perhaps you are in the same situation as I am, so without further ado, I give you your handy conversion sites.

Men's Shoe Size Conversions

Women's Shoe Size Conversions

There's one for the kiddies too, but I can't think of anything more dreary than giving some child you never see for years, a pair of clodhoppers for Christmas.

"Oh look, dear. See what your auntie Vicky sent you from the US! Hush Puppies!"

"A puppy?!?!"

"No, love, a pair of shoes."




They'd be scarred for life. I know I was.

Clothes get the same size shock treatment, so print these out too.

Men's Clothing (for shirts, suits, jackets)

Women's Clothing (for blouses, dresses, and bras)

Wow, I'm a size 40 in Italy. I am positively buxom! How depressing.

But wait -- your shoppping along cross-cultural lines is even a minefield for rings, just in case you have a mail-order bride on request from Santa.

International Ring Sizes

I'm a rather sausage-fingered-sounding 55 1/4 in France. Yikes. Must cut down on those yummy escargots.

But I did say it was fun day, or thereabouts, on Sundries, so now that our shopping investigations are done, let's continue to more amusing areas of the site listed.

Fun Stuff

Being a woman, I am obsessed by weight, my own, other women's, even Kate Moss'. My, isn't she scrawny? She must eat like a bird!

So if you're interested in your Body Mass Index, as are all of Vogue's staff, as well as everyone else on this planet, check this out.

When I input my weight and height, I got this.

"According to the Panel on Energy, Obesity, and Body Weight Standards published by American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, your category is: Desirable"

But don't get too excited, you randy lads out there.

When I typed 6'8", 185 lbs. it also coughed up "desirable".

(As a complete aside, did I ever tell you I once played point-guard at St. Joe's?)

Don't mess around too much with it though.

I found that out when I was fiddling with the heights and weights. "Underweight" is a possibility with one weight category. But when you put 600 lbs, you just get this.



There are some things you just can't unsee. Sorry again.

Consequently, though it may have crossed your mind I like a wee drinkie-poo on occasion, especially just before blogging, I am actually rather abstemious, though my entire extended family are rollicking drunks, so there is hope for me yet.

But in case you'll be bending the elbow this Christmas, here's a Body-Alcohol Content Calculator.

Arrive Alive!, as the old Florida license plates used to say, just before someone ploughed into you.

Finally, as our last joint lark of the day, here is a very useful Häxor to English translator.

Don't worry, I didn't know what Häxor was either, so they explained:

Häxor is Swedish for witches, though this has nothing to do with witches. Häxor is also a slang term for Hacker.

You can replace most English characters with other characters, that look something alike. It's kinda like a secret code, but you could probably still read it.

Got that? Great.

So off you go, with my Häxor injuction to all of you:

$H0p uñt!l ¥0u dr0p, $uñdr!3$ r34d3r$!!

8 Comments:

  • Point guard at St. Joe's??? Wow!!!

    Were you a good shooter or ball handler? ;)

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Wed Nov 30, 12:54:00 am GMT-5  

  • Point guard at St. Joe's??? Wow!!!

    They even made a film out of me! This guy, Kevin Bacon, went to visit me in my father's tribe in Kenya -- and recruited me after a lot of funny circumcision jokes.

    It was very moving, Jose.

    Were you a good shooter or ball handler? ;)

    I spike the ball excellently. Also my drop shot and backhand are great.

    We should play sometime!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Nov 30, 12:37:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I gather you play basketball, volleyball and tennis! That, combined with your excellent sense of humor almost makes you perfect!

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Wed Nov 30, 01:39:00 pm GMT-5  

  • This is one of your punniest works yet! I do envy your ability to make one smile.
    Since I was a young'un, educated people here and around the world have tried to foist The Metric System upon us. Thank goodness we are such traditionalists and will have none of it, otherwise I'd need more book learin'.
    Anyway, you're brilliant. Figure it out.
    I'm certain you're brilliant and compassionate because you know not to buy a child shoes for Christmas.
    I don't drink much either but I like your family, it's fun to watch drunks try to sing the Twelve Days of Christmas in unison.
    My BMI said I should be dead. Drat!

    By Blogger Paul, at Wed Nov 30, 03:22:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I gather you play basketball, volleyball and tennis!

    Well, if we're talkin' turkey, I admit to the tennis (I was damn good in 11th grade -- ranked 25th overall in my age group in the State of Florida ams!), but I sucked at basketball, and apart from a killer serve in volleyball, I was a big L-O-S-E-R there too.

    That, combined with your excellent sense of humor almost makes you perfect!

    I take note of the "almost". Humph!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Nov 30, 04:22:00 pm GMT-5  

  • This is one of your punniest works yet! I do envy your ability to make one smile.

    Envy-schmenvy. Have you seen the size of my thighs? *sigh*

    Since I was a young'un, educated people here and around the world have tried to foist The Metric System upon us. Thank goodness we are such traditionalists and will have none of it, otherwise I'd need more book learin'.

    You tell 'em, Luddite! I mean, erm, Paul!

    (P.S.: I hate the metric system too, although I am forced to use it for the medical learnin'...mind you, it doesn't mean I know it)

    Anyway, you're brilliant. Figure it out.

    Awww.

    *thinks*

    Ouch, that hurts Paul. Can I figure it out later?

    I'm certain you're brilliant and compassionate because you know not to buy a child shoes for Christmas.

    That and my aunt Violet always gave me Oxfords for Christmas.

    Do you know how heart-breaking it is for a kid to get clothes for Christmas? Especially shoes and unders.

    There should be a law, as my old granddad, her brother, used to say.

    I don't drink much either but I like your family, it's fun to watch drunks try to sing the Twelve Days of Christmas in unison.
    My BMI said I should be dead. Drat!


    You're not dead, Paul! Especially not from the waist down, knowwhattamean, wink nudge.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Wed Nov 30, 04:28:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Okay, the sloooowest of your readers, me, at 1:49PM, Dec. 1st, just realized what the picture for the 600lb. caption is.
    I am intelligent-visually impaired too. It is a human body in there, isn't it? I never lingered on it, just would stop and stare for a moment. Duh.

    By Blogger Paul, at Thu Dec 01, 01:57:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Okay, the sloooowest of your readers, me, at 1:49PM, Dec. 1st, just realized what the picture for the 600lb. caption is.
    I am intelligent-visually impaired too. It is a human body in there, isn't it? I never lingered on it, just would stop and stare for a moment. Duh.


    Yep, it's...well, it's a human body as you say. Man or woman, I dare not question.

    At a guess, I'd say a woman, since one of those Pillsbury Doughboy rolls of fat is definitely (whispers) a boobele.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 01, 07:02:00 pm GMT-5  

Post a Comment

Who linked Here:

Create a Link

<< Home


 




Advertise on blogs
British Expat Blog Directory.