Sign On The Dotted Line

When in a developed country, I promise:

Not to shout threats about being in possession of bombs, or other hazardous materials, especially anywhere near airports, or high traffic areas

Not to run away, or act aggressively during times of crisis or heightened emotion

Not to jump into stadia from the stands, threaten a president, drunk, naked or otherwise, in a bid to get myself on TV or to impress Steffi Graff or Jodie Foster

Should I do any of these actions I am fully cognisant that:

Incarceration, fines, painful muscles due to soap-picking up in showers, and possible death may result if these three small regulations are not followed.

When in an undeveloped country, I promise to ask to be taken to the nearest ATM for "negotiation fees".

I realise that no one told me this before, upon birth, at school, by my parents, or even during naturalisation processes, but thanks to the world of Blogosphere, I know now.

SIGNED BELOW, THIS _ of ____, 2___.