.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Friday, January 05, 2007

Girlfriends

Ah, Oprah Winfrey.

When she's not playing Lady Bountiful in South Africa, she's being accused of shenanigans with her closest female friend, Gayle King.

(By the way -- remember my prediction about Oprah running for US Senator one day, perhaps in 2012, after her retirement from her talk show? Well, I'm not backing off that prediction just yet. But here's another one: Oprah Winfrey. Nobel Peace Prize recipient. You heard it here first)

Of course, she and Gayle seem to be oblivious to providing fodder for these rumours, by amongst other things, noting the circumstances of how they met.

Seems one day, when both were working in their respective jobs in Baltimore, they were caught in a snowstorm. Gayle couldn't go back to her flat, so Oprah -- showing her early generosity of spirit which would launch a million hearts racing during her Christmas freebie bag shows, offered a solution.

'Hey, you can spend the night at my house.' [Gayle] said, 'I don't have any panties.' I said, "Well, I do. I have clean panties, and once I give 'em to you, you don't have to give 'em back.'"

Now, I have to step out of my gender for a minute, and imagine what it must to be a man reading this startling admission of sharing your knickers with a relative female stranger.

And from this testosterone-filled vantage point, I can see what folks are driving at, you bet your life.

But you see, this kind of behaviour is not unusual amongst women, even if the particulars seem to have a very steamy undertone, unmistakeable to some guys as a Girls Gone Wild moment.

Let's be honest -- it doesn't take much for men to connote anything sexual from any kind of situation involving wo/men. It seems as hard wired into their psyche, as search for tenderness and communication seems to be in us.

But even so, there are moments like these that are simply too redolent of something spicey going on, for men.

Let's pause for a second to examine some other similar moments, shall we.

Women sometimes do these things, and think nothing of it:

(1) Invite another woman inside a toilet stall with them, as they take turns relieving themselves in front of the other

(2) Shower with each other

(3) Try on each other's clothes, including undies and brassieres, frequently giving it back to be worn by the original owner

In fact, I even had a friend who said in her Midwestern hometown, girls frequently practised kissing each other in preparation for the BIG moment when the recipient would be the high school hunk they longed to date.

(For the record, I've not done a, or b, but I have done c. And as for the practise sessions, come on, who does she think she's kidding. Illinois, my foot)

Now, this isn't to say that women don't look at certain male rituals, with deep suspicion (although frankly, we mostly don't even acknowledge they happen most of the time. It's just too icky to think about).

You know what I mean, fellas.

The collegial pats on the behind...

The wet towels slaps on the rear in the locker room...

The sharing/procuring/rating of porn for each other...

The grabbing of the gridiron football by the QB by placing his hands under the Centre's nads...

Variations of which in other sports are noted below...




And then there's the really hardcore stuff, which queasiness prevents my mentioning, but it starts with 'circle' and ends with the title of that movie Steve Martin starred in once.

(Eww)

To me this just REEKS of a certain eroticism, but men shriek back that it's just guys being guys, so chill.

Well and good.

But you lads have to chill back about stuff like Oprah and Gayle, sharing their knickers as if it ain't no thing. I mean REALLY. Talk about fevered imaginations.

Given this, I have always wondered what prompts men to imagine that gestures of this nature amongst women, would automatically infer tribadism for them.

Or, to rephrase it, why it is that we women do NOT think of this as being sexual in the least.

Is it that if you're a heterosexual woman you do not, as a rule, look at another woman with desire?

Men of course can be extremely tender, in fact, they are BY FAR the most romantic of the two sexes, in my opinion -- but outward expressions of their affection tend to be physical in nature.

When a normal, red-blooded man thinks of a woman, he thinks of her as a sexual being, not to say a target, for these physical expressions.

Perhaps, given this idea, does it become impossible for men to think that the fairer sex simply does not view the mating ritual as target-conquer-mate-with in quite the same way?

And thus when two women interact in ways unthinkable amongst men, they are projecting these thoughts of their own lust process to the female of the species?

Maybe.

But back to Oprah and Gayle.

I grant you that there is something rather suspect about Oprah Winfrey. I personally think she's anti-male, and this is why I have never liked her.

Whilst not forgetting that she was a victim of child sexual abuse, and thus her wariness about marriage may be explained in this light I suppose, she has pussyfooted around her tag-along boyfriend for years, rather like Greta Garbo did with poor old John Gilbert.

And we all know why, don't we. Yessir.

Two words. Mercedes D'Acosta. Two more words. Marlene Dietrich. I could go on.

Nevertheless, the issue at hand is why people infer that two women can't share a bond so close, without anything physical being the cause of this proximity.

Because they're like sisters, you numbnuts. Yes, sometimes it's just that simple.

Sadly, my own best friends were always male. I am that kind of woman that raises hackles of jealousy (in real life, fortunately, not on the 'net) from many other women, and I just don't have the strength.

I did have two excellent girl friends when I was growing up, but neither are in my life today.

Soon, marriage will preclude that level of sharing intimacy with another woman, since I believe a woman should always place her family first, so it seems my female friendships are at an end.

I miss the toe-nail painting.

I miss the sleepovers.

Heck, sometimes I even miss the showers (oh wait, I said I didn't do that, right? Never mind). Okay, I miss the Victoria Secrets undie-sharing.

But one thing I do not miss is the incessant backstabbing, gossiping and "He's no good for you, leave him!" pieces of advice women always give each other.

Harpies.



As Norma Shearer's mother said in The Women,

"Don't confide in your girlfriends.

If you let them advise you, they'll see to it, in the name of friendship, that you lose your husband and your home. I'm an old woman, my dear. I know my sex."

Ahh, l'amour, l'amour. Toujours l'amour!

Except when it's just friendship, lads.

P.S.: Every last word I said about women who are very close not necessarily being lesbians is gospel truth.

But even I cannot make heads nor tails of the European version of Oprah/Gayle, namely:

Princess Gloria Thurn und Taxis and her "dear friend", Princess Alessandra Borghese.



Princess TNT, so named in the giddy 1980s because she was a spitball of high society fun, and La Borghese may be the far-right, vaguely Opus Dei intimate friends of Pope Benedict XVI, and volunteers at the Lourdes shrine (seen here wearing the uniform), and both heavily and publicly against same-sex marriage, but COME ON.

24 Comments:

  • Because they're like sisters, you numbnuts. Yes, sometimes it's just that simple.

    Yes. Sometimes.


    And sometimes they're lesbians. Yes, sometimes it's just that simple.

    But if you ever want someone to take a shower with you, I'll cheerfully volunteer.

    By Blogger I R A Darth Aggie, at Fri Jan 05, 09:43:00 am GMT-5  

  • Excellent post Victoria! You always have a great way of explaining many of the most important things in life, like human relationships!

    For some reason, I also have never had any strong feeling about Oprah. However, I can watch Ellen DeGeneres for 30 minutes and enjoy her performance but I can't watch Rosie for more than 30 seconds without wanting to go puke!

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Fri Jan 05, 10:10:00 am GMT-5  

  • And sometimes they're lesbians. Yes, sometimes it's just that simple.

    Nah. They could be BISEXUAL!

    But if you ever want someone to take a shower with you, I'll cheerfully volunteer.

    Depends, IRA Darth baby.

    What's your cup-size?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Jan 05, 12:50:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Excellent post Victoria!

    Thank you, Jose! It reminded me of my Woman Crush post.

    You always have a great way of explaining many of the most important things in life, like human relationships!

    Funnily enough, I rarely speak about this in real life.

    Relationships bore me. Who's sleeping with whom. Where. And which dobermann is involved. Etc. *yawn*

    (Although interaction between people I find endlessly fascinating!)

    For some reason, I also have never had any strong feeling about Oprah.

    Do you mean, you never liked her, or she just was rather blah to you?

    However, I can watch Ellen DeGeneres for 30 minutes and enjoy her performance

    I have never watched either of Ellen's TV efforts (unlike Oprah's show, which a male friend and I used to watch, mostly to make fun of her though). It's been maybe 5 years since I watched Oprah, and 6 since I stopped watching the View with any regularity.

    but I can't watch Rosie for more than 30 seconds without wanting to go puke!

    I also can't stand her.

    Possibly because (though fans say she always treats them well) a good friend of mine at the time, worked for her as a physical therapist, and Rosie treated her like trash -- swearing, etc.

    Big. Fat. Masculine. Women.

    The Donald for once, has a point.

    P.S.: In the Spanish "sphere" I don't like Cristina Saralegui (that voice!), and I don't like Belkis Nerey and Lynn Martinez. They're the Cuban harpie equivalents.

    P.P.S.: Hey, Jose, did you like my Roundabout post? Did you recognise the locale? :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Jan 05, 12:58:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I think it's very important to love your husband first but also to keep your girlfriends as part of your life. Women generally live longer. During widowhood, it will be a good thing to have kept one's friends as friends. This works especially well if your sisters are your friends. But in your case, you will have to let your blog girlfriends do in a pinch.

    By Blogger Ruth Anne Adams, at Fri Jan 05, 02:32:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Amazingly...I have nothing to say!

    By Blogger Ron, at Fri Jan 05, 03:25:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Should we be congratulating you?

    By Blogger JSU, at Fri Jan 05, 03:49:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I think it's very important to love your husband first but also to keep your girlfriends as part of your life.

    You're right, of course, and...

    Women generally live longer. During widowhood, it will be a good thing to have kept one's friends as friends.

    ...this is a sensible (if slightly chilling) conclusion.

    But I'm not married yet, so I can hardly think of being a widow!

    This works especially well if your sisters are your friends. But in your case, you will have to let your blog girlfriends do in a pinch.

    Definitely. :)

    Although the possibility exists that my future husband would have lots of sisters, or at least a brother with a wife.

    OTOH, my mother and father's respective-in-laws HATE the one or the other (as ever, because of inheritance, land and jewelry. It's always the way).

    Still, I have always been fortunate with my online female friends. Perhaps the minor irritations and comparisons women have with each other, are muted, by this distance.

    It may not be the most optimum of situations, but I am dearly glad to have 'em.

    (RIA seems to have flown the coop, though. She never came back after I did what I did for you recently -- bought an blogad for her site. Ah well)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Jan 05, 05:10:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Amazingly...I have nothing to say!

    I'm bitterly disappointed.

    If anyone would've had a snappy comeback about The Women, surely it would've been you, our Ron!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Jan 05, 05:12:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Should we be congratulating you?

    Congratulate away!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Jan 05, 05:13:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Speaking of female 'friend' bloggers:

    Guess what? I just went to Althouse for the first time in MONTHS.

    She's got comment approval! Good deal.

    I left because, however much I enjoyed my fellow Althousians, and though I greatly enjoyed Ann's meanderings in pop culture, I was sucked into the troll vortex every time I read the replies.

    I literally, at the end, found my shoulders heaving in despair, so I said, that's that, no more.

    I'm glad she hasn't left Blogger, but more importantly, that she has had to compromise and say, the trolls were too much.

    Sometimes speech isn't free. Especiallyw hen your blog pays for it.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Jan 05, 05:41:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Hmmm...ok, let me think on The Women. Perhaps I'll come up with something.

    It might be interesting to see it done by all combos of straight/gay, men/women, just out of curiosity!

    Althouse lately has become a Tong war; regular commentoids like meself feel like we're tap dancing in the middle of Gallipoli...

    By Blogger Ron, at Fri Jan 05, 10:13:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Hmmm...ok, let me think on The Women. Perhaps I'll come up with something.

    The most quotable movie EVER. More than Bull Durham and Scarface combined.

    My favourite scene -- the choice of Solomon -- in The Women is the phone conversation Joan Crawford and Norma Shearer's husband, with whom she's two-timing her. The ad-libs of Virginia Grey are what make that scene so special, such as:

    "...It's nothing, it's just nerves... I had a rather gloomy letter from home today... My little sister, shes not very well..."

    "What's wrong with her, she got a hang over?"

    -And-

    "I'm having him dine at my place. It's about time he found out I was a home girl."

    "A home girl? Get her! Why don't you borrow the Dionne quintuplets for the evening?"

    "Because I'm all the baby he wants, pet."


    Hehehe.

    It might be interesting to see it done by all combos of straight/gay, men/women, just out of curiosity!

    (Eww)

    Althouse lately has become a Tong war; regular commentoids like meself feel like we're tap dancing in the middle of Gallipoli...

    Oh really? Not to speak out of school, but what's wrong?

    I thought it was a better atmosphere, than when I left.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Jan 06, 01:51:00 am GMT-5  

  • I'm taking tomorrow off, lads and ladettes. More later.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Jan 06, 01:52:00 am GMT-5  

  • Yes Victoria I definitely enjoyed your Roundabout post! I thought it was around the circle by the entrance to Cocoplum.

    We have some similar tastes because I absolutely can't stand Cristina either! I recognize she has some talent but I find her so fake!!!

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Sat Jan 06, 09:24:00 am GMT-5  

  • Oh really? Not to speak out of school, but what's wrong?

    Ann got into this huge tiff with some libertarians at a conference, (which, at some point, brought Ann to tears!) and it's turned into a slugging match with libertarian bloggers that went on for over a week...phew! I did side with Dr. Althouse, myself.

    By Blogger Ron, at Sat Jan 06, 01:36:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yes Victoria I definitely enjoyed your Roundabout post! I thought it was around the circle by the entrance to Cocoplum.

    Bingo. :)

    I rarely go around there, because it brings back memories of an ex (Cuban-American) whose family lived there.

    Although the SUV in the pic covered it, just beyond are a pair of Peter Pan "boots" in cast bronze, which are very cute.

    Not sure why or who put them there, in the middle of this upper-middle class residential oasis, but I happen to love that roundabout.

    My ex's family called them, "Las Boticas". :)

    We have some similar tastes because I absolutely can't stand Cristina either! I recognize she has some talent but I find her so fake!!!

    She has talent? You mean the now defunct Cristina magazine????

    ;)

    Actually, I don't know much about her, but that it seems she's the anti-Oprah in many ways.

    Oprah may be many things, but that woman is generous, with a capital G.

    Cristina never gave anyone a dime -- in fact, one friend said that when you went on her programme, she would say, "You need help. We can give you the name of a psychiatrist."

    And that's that. No "we'll send you there for free."

    It's a wonder she didn't send YOU the bill!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Jan 06, 04:23:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ann got into this huge tiff with some libertarians at a conference,

    Whoa!

    I thought her relationship with Glenn Reynolds might have suffered during the whole "Pajamas Media" debacle, but they seem cordial enough today, so surely he wasn't part of that conference.

    (which, at some point, brought Ann to tears!)

    Oh man. Poor Ann.

    She prides herself on being a tough cookie, so you can bet this really must've hurt her.

    (Tangentially, though, I'd like to say that it embarrasses me when women cry in stressful situations -- including myself, sigh.

    It makes one seem, especially to men, that one is weak, whereas of course, it's just a let-off of steam for us)

    and it's turned into a slugging match with libertarian bloggers that went on for over a week...phew!

    Well, I'm not Googling or checking her old posts.

    (I made a faux pas though, since I recently mentioned "Losertarian" in her blog, hehe)

    I did side with Dr. Althouse, myself.

    Of course. You're so tender. :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Jan 06, 04:28:00 pm GMT-5  

  • The Short Version: The libertarians were commenting on an older writer whose anti-government stance made him attack the Civil Rights Laws back in '64, and Ann was very uncomfortable with an intellectual stance that so cavalierly excused institutional racism. She tried to get them to distinguish their thoeries from the reality of racism, and then from there it got ugly!

    I get more embarrassed by men with bullheaded thoeries then by women crying, which I think of as generally humanizing, but, hey, that's my prejudice, I suppose!

    By Blogger Ron, at Sat Jan 06, 05:04:00 pm GMT-5  

  • The invective from the libertarians towards Ann was beyond the pale, in my opinion. Ugh.

    By Blogger Ron, at Sat Jan 06, 05:05:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Off Topic, I took a nap today (ahh...naps!) and somehow thought you were the singer Kirsty McCall! Good thing you're not, else you'd be dead!

    By Blogger Ron, at Sat Jan 06, 05:07:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Congratulate away!

    [...]

    Although the possibility exists that my future husband would have lots of sisters, or at least a brother with a wife.

    Ah, never mind. I misunderstood the original post.

    By Blogger JSU, at Sun Jan 07, 03:36:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I didn't know you bought an ad; I didn't see it. I certainly didn't fly a coop because of it.

    A belated thank you!

    By Blogger reader_iam, at Fri Jan 12, 12:34:00 pm GMT-5  

  • After going through the "Oprah builds school" link, I can't believe there is anyone in this world with the name "Tokyo Sexwale". I hope it's not pronounced the way I think it's pronounced.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Jan 13, 03:52:00 am GMT-5  

Post a Comment

Who linked Here:

Create a Link

<< Home


 




Advertise on blogs
British Expat Blog Directory.