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...a sweatshop of moxie

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Young Jack

(N.B. MARCH 7: I've been reliably informed by a mutual friend that a cousin of the Schlossberg kids, has linked to this post online. I don't wish to cause any more distress than necessary, so I suggest to any family member reading this to avoid the comments section)

The recent post on Rose Kennedy Schlossberg has consistently received the most amounts of hits of any piece I've written, since starting Sundries.

(In fact, I've even been intrigued to see hits coming from Cambridge, Mass, with the "harvard.edu" address, and wonder if there's a lovely, firm-jawed scion of a famous Irish-Catholic family doing a little egosurfing of her own. Ho-ho, you little scamp, I won't tell!)

Thus was my mindset when I clicked on a link on SiteMetre to see just how people chanced upon my blog.

To my amazement, there was one story not about Rose Kennedy, but about her little bro', John Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg.

Now, think of the last time you saw young Jack, as he's known to his near and dear.

Chances are you saw him looking like this, right?

An impeccably, dare I say elegantly, kitted out youngster aged around 6, hanging on to his mother's hand as he came out of his New York apartment building, followed by his teddy bearlike dad just behind.

With great sadness we recall that the occasion was the funeral of his beloved and fond uncle, John F. Kennedy, Jr., killed so tragically off of Martha's Vineyard, as he flew to his cousin Rory Kennedy's wedding.

Whatever are your politics, and whatever is your opinion of the boisterous Kennedy family, this was a tragic story (God, yet ANOTHER one) of a young Kennedy killed much before his time.

A photograph, incidentally, which evoked an iconic image of another little boy hanging onto his bereft mother's hands, so many years ago.

Well, fast forward to December 2006, a few days before Christmas.

Care to guess who this young scamp giving the universal gangsta rapper salute is?

Why, it's (almost) 14-year-old Jack Schlossberg, none other!

There he is, past tweeniehood now, on his way to young manhood in fact, but still showing the baby fat of a kid in physical transition.

Check out those rather feminine hips, which he'll lose in oh, I'd say, about a year. As everyone used to say about young Chelsea Clinton:

"Hang in there, Jack!"

It does get better, trust me. Your bod sheds its weight, and your face fills out. And that's when it hit me.

Wow, this kid looks a lot like his late uncle, already.

I remember a fellow blogger, Ruth Anne Adams, observing at the time, "I think young Miss Schlossberg is quite lovely. Her jawline is Bouvier."

Those are some pretty indestructible Bouvier genes, because young Jack here is well on his way to JFK, Jr. hunkhood.

Just look at this photo.

Not only the same jawline, but indeed, his entire facial structure and lushly thick hair texture is eerily reminiscent of his uncle, even now.

Of course, personality-wise he is at that awkward stage which all teenagers go through -- not quite rebellious, because after all, he IS out taking a stroll with his mother and sister...

...but definitely acting out, by mugging to the camera with generation-specific insouciance, as I like to refer to that tiresome affectation of pretending to be streetwise, and hard.

Just another Park Avenue Fitty Cent. Sigh.

And notice he has defied all common sense, and chosen Christmassy (but expensive) colours for his promenade ensemble: a $72 Lacoste polo shirt, L.L. Bean green windbreaker, and hand-me-down looking blue jeans.

That's his middle sister, Tatiana, next to him, looking charming in that vintage blue coat, not unlike those made famous by her grandma, Jacqueline.

-- By the way, since we're on the general and rather nonsensically gossipy subject, who does Tatiana remind you of, facially? The only person I can come up with, is Christopher Guest repertoire actress, the delightful Canadian-born Catherine O'Hara. It's the set of those Irish eyes, that nails it. --

The look is so popular with the Schlossberg women, that even Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg has decided to sling on the Mary Tyler Moore togs, herself.

And for good measure, she doesn't look a day over 35. Hang in there, Caroline!


Our rapscallion above may not be quite the catch his uncle was even in his youth, but with such a supportive family, a caring and involved mum, an intellectually-stimulating dad, I think John Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg is going to make it, after all.

ADDENDUM: I know who Tatiana reminds me of! Rather silly really.

Her grandfather, the other Jack.

Right, not the colouring, and general puffiness of the face. But you know, the million-dollar, winsome smile. She's her mother's daughter, that's for sure.

As for young Rose Schlossberg, well, she's more her grandmother's granddaughter.

Tsk. Smoking already.

Oh, Rose...stop egosurfing, and start taking care of that ego, you know?


Don't Look Now
The Schlossbergs And The Kennedys And Obama

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  • It's a young Andy Samberg proving that red doesn't fade when you use Tide in your wash! My cones and rods thank you John.

    Weird, the one on the left (Rose?) looks like my childhood friend Sasha in that pic.

    By Blogger Renato, at Sun Feb 04, 11:39:00 am GMT-5  

  • It's a young Andy Samberg proving that red doesn't fade when you use Tide in your wash!

    I had NO idea who that was, so I Googled. Good Lord, could be his twin in future. ;)

    And what do you know about doing your laundry, pray?

    My cones and rods thank you John.

    Weird, the one on the left (Rose?) looks like my childhood friend Sasha in that pic.

    Yep, that's Rose, the one on the left. I changed the size of the pic, to a larger one.

    The interesting thing about that pic, showing her next to a rather rough-looking girl quite unlike many of Rose's other, preppier-looking friends*, is that she used it on her own Facebook entry.

    So I'm guessing her parents know she smokes -- ergo, why I posted it in the first-place.

    Of course, Caroline Kennedy used to smoke in her youth, so she can hardly say nyet about it.

    *See this pic for Rose's other friends. She's the one in the middle, as ever.


    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Feb 04, 12:26:00 pm GMT-5  

  • You should call that last photo "Holy Smokes" for not only is she lipping a ciggy, but she is also wearing a ROSARY as jewelry for heaven's sake!

    What do you think of this: Carolyn Schlossberg reminds me of Sarah Ferguson in some respects.

    By Blogger Ruth Anne Adams, at Mon Feb 05, 03:30:00 pm GMT-5  

  • You should call that last photo "Holy Smokes" for not only is she lipping a ciggy, but she is also wearing a ROSARY as jewelry for heaven's sake!

    I KNEW you would see that, RUTH ANNE!

    That's why I forwent my usual eagle eye commentary.

    I thought, wow, a rosary hanging there like a scapular. I'll give her this, she's original, and interesting.

    She looks to have a more forceful personality than her younger sister, but I think that may be the case of the extrovert and the introvert -- you can never really tell.

    What do you think of this: Carolyn Schlossberg reminds me of Sarah Ferguson in some respects.

    Right! I see it! Good deal, Ruth Anne.

    It's something in the shape of the face, and a general Celtic cheekbony-ness, as it were.

    Caroline Schlossberg is all Kennedy. You can certainly tell she favours her dad (and never were two siblings less similar physically, than were John and Caroline Kennedy).

    Of course, why I am surprised you got this correlation, Ruth Anne. Weren't you the one who also saw my "Farris/Prince William" allusion, calling the salt-n-pepper shakers? ;)


    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Feb 05, 04:21:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Having said that, as she grows older, Caroline is beginning to look a lot like mum, too.

    As was John Kennedy Jr., beginning to fill out facially like his dad, before he perished...

    BTW, and this is very disgusting to me, but I recently saw JFK Jr's death photo. Dear God, why are there such nasty people on earth, that they would have to put this out...at least with the JFK autopsy photos, he looked serene. I won't tell you how John looked...sigh. RIP.


    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Feb 05, 04:26:00 pm GMT-5  

  • you guys are talking like you've known or have met the kennedy children? i'm from long island, which is basically the manhattan's businessman-getaway, which means i'm quasi from manhattan. when do i get to meet the kennedys?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri Feb 01, 10:23:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Jackie Kennedy was a very heavy smoker, but was rarely photographed in public doing so. As for her grandchildren, glad to see that they seem to be living regular lives. Their mother has a strong sense of privacy, so I'm sure there's an "ouch factor" to the water pipe and smoking photos. But that's life.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Apr 16, 03:37:00 pm GMT-4  

  • Tatiana is DEFINITELY, without ANY DOUBT...her great grandmother Janet Auchincloss's (Jackie's mother) doppelganger.

    By Anonymous Gillian, at Tue May 20, 02:41:00 pm GMT-4  

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