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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Monday, November 14, 2005

MSM Mirage -- Tim Russert Eyes



Tim Russert Eyes

His hair's mousey brown
His lips dissemble facts
Our hands tremble with surprise
You can never tell
When he'll distort truth in a trice
You'll have to fact-check him twice
He's as pure as Jayson Blair lies
He's a Democratic shill
He's got Tim Russert eyes

And he'll tease you
With Presidential Daily Briefings to please you
You Blue-Staters
You Bush-Haters
And he knows just what it
Takes to make Jay Rockefeller
blush
To ask him why he voted
For the war in Iraq
Jay's in deep doo because unlike who
Ted Kennedy
He isn't a lush
He's got Tim Russert Eyes

He'll expose you
When he snows you
With a blanket of pre-edited videos
He's ferocious
And he knows just what it
Takes to make Jay Rockefeller blush
Here's hoping
We're not coping
With
Google in an Instalanche rush

All the boys think Plame's a spy
But since you don't go to
The Beltway
Party circuit
You don't really count as their kind of guys
You would though
If you could though
Just have a little of Tim Russert's eyes


My royalty cheque's in the post, Kim.

UPDATE: Tim Russert has passed away, and appropriately, I am reminded of this old post -- and you can imagine my embarrassment. My most recent blogpost hopefully is more gracious.

13 Comments:

  • Loved your version Victoria! I think a podcast of you singing it would be a wonderful addition! ;}

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Mon Nov 14, 01:59:00 pm GMT-5  

  • oooooo, look it's the Tom and Katie of the Beltway!

    jose is right; makes us all swoon for you Victoria; (like we don't already! :-) ) have some unfilter Galoises and sing it on the podcast!

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Nov 14, 02:14:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Loved your version Victoria

    I have a press release all typed up just in case Kim Carnes or Tim Russert sue.

    "The author of the Sundries blog is expressing her First Amendment Right to make fun of (strike over) sample bad 80's songs."

    I think a podcast of you singing it would be a wonderful addition! ;}

    Don't you start, meester!

    I am not singing on this blog. I have no ear for music.

    Lapdancing, however, is another story.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Nov 14, 02:35:00 pm GMT-5  

  • oooooo, look it's the Tom and Katie of the Beltway!

    Oh God...I wipe tears of laughter still after reading this.

    Tim Russert and wifey, making nice with the other power-couples. Look, isn't that Christiane Amanpour and Jamie Rubin schmoozing with Andrea Mitchell and her main squeeze, Greenspan?

    Oh, and did you click on the link about the Beltway Party Circuit?

    It's from a Flyfishing Forum (can you believe that) who were commenting on the Plame/Wilson hommage on Vanity Fair, complete with dazzlingly dolce vita photo of them in their convertible.

    The responses gave me a belly ache. When asked who they looked like, the posters replied variously:

    They look like wealthy Republicans"

    John Hurt and Lisa Kudrow?

    Stop! My stomach hurts.

    jose is right; makes us all swoon for you Victoria; (like we don't already! :-) ) have some unfilter Galoises and sing it on the podcast!

    I'd have to smoke Andree Putman sized Galoises to make me sound remotely like Kim Carnes basso-falsetto.

    How about some Black Russians and a quick chorus of Karma-chameleon?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Nov 14, 02:40:00 pm GMT-5  

  • ok, ok, forget the singing; lapdancing it shall be!!! ; )

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Mon Nov 14, 02:57:00 pm GMT-5  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Nov 14, 04:26:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Again, Jose inspires! I will find the blog of The Singing LapDancer, or, Henry Higgins-like I will teach her to both sing and blog!

    hmmm...maybe not! You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think!

    How about some Black Russians and a quick chorus of Karma-chameleon?
    Did you know there's a site where you can pay to have Boy George send a video post card to whomever to tell them you're gay? Personally, I liked the one where Mr. T wishes you happy birthday...

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Nov 14, 04:30:00 pm GMT-5  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Nov 14, 04:36:00 pm GMT-5  

  • ...schmoozing with Andrea Mitchell and her main squeeze, Greenspan?

    Honestly, is there anything left of Greenspan to squeeze? Isn't he as wrung out as a chamois at a carwash? Not that Andrea Mitchell will be my Singing LapBlogger, but cheez, she should be able to find someone who started their careers after the Hoover Administration!

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Nov 14, 04:39:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Very nice adaptation.

    As much as it hurt, I shrunk the iconic image. Just for you, darling. :)

    The Commissar

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Nov 14, 09:20:00 pm GMT-5  

  • that was great . . . I loved very word

    By Blogger The Mojician, at Mon Nov 14, 10:28:00 pm GMT-5  

  • hmmm...maybe not! You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think!

    Just because I lapdance doesn't mean I'm a whoor! I call myself a performance artiste.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Nov 14, 11:15:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Der Commissar wrote:

    Very nice adaptation.

    As much as it hurt, I shrunk the iconic image. Just for you, darling. :)


    Aww. See, that's how he keeps his clients happy. ;)

    Thanks Commissar!

    Mojician wrote:

    that was great . . . I loved very word

    It was a quickie too. Took me under 30 minutes to write up (minus the research about the photo and lyrics).

    Glad you liked it. :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Nov 14, 11:18:00 pm GMT-5  

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