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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

She Speaketh In Tongues

As they say in the bowdlerised version, stuffs happens. And stuff particularly happened Wedenesday, making me miss my usual timely blogpost.

So today, I offer a treat instead.

Commenter Paul queried just how many tongues this she-devil speaks, after he heard me say I speak 6 fluently.

Obviously, English is one, else you would be Babelfishing as we speak.

Also, you've heard me in Cuban-accented Spanish, so those of you who aced their SATs should know that leaves 4 more.

Can you guess what they are before clicking on the audio links below?


FIRST MP3

this is an audio post - click to play


I almost gave up doing this lark before I properly started. Whew, 5 takes it took me to get it right.

Well, no one said Charles Baudelaire was easy.

Drat, I just gave a clue, didn't I?


SECOND MP3

this is an audio post - click to play


After the night of the long takes, I decided to do a rather easier, quickie one.

You can still hear the languid intonations of this lovely language though, my second favourite.


THIRD MP3

this is an audio post - click to play


I did this in one take, and that shows you my level of interest in my mother's language.

(There I go again!)

Still, it's one of the more beautiful, and for me, apposite readings I can think of, to launch this frankly show-offy post.


FOURTH MP3

this is an audio post - click to play


This is funny.

Maybe the nuances of the accent will be lost on those who don't speak it, but believe me, when a person who speaks this language hears it, they will be rolling down the aisles.

Just think of me at the beauty parlour. Or at the dentist's office.

Shame I couldn't get in something about the Royal Families. They're ALWAYS going on about what Caroline of Monaco did, as if we cared.


FIFTH MP3

this is an audio post - click to play


My favourite language, and it shows. I took my sweet time with this one, but did it in one take.

Pay close attention to the English words. They don't sound like anything you are used to.

All languages appropriate their own sounds for foreign words. In fact, I rather enjoy collecting words in English in other languages.

Not for nothing, was I a Pokemon freak at one time. (Kidding!)


SIXTH MP3

this is an audio post - click to play


Ahh, there's no place like home, right?


Well, that's that...let me know which one YOU liked.

P.S.: Actually, I can handle about 3 or 4 others, but enough's enough, even for me.

30 Comments:

  • Let's see...the French sounded like you were reading a contract or ordering a sandwich...but sexy...

    the Italian...you're clearing dancing in the Trevi Fountain with Marcello...

    the German...I...I feel like invading Poland all of a sudden!

    the next...is that Portugese? Just guessing...

    the Russian, is it?...sounds like your explaining medical instructions..

    ahhh...Liz Hurley returns!

    All I can muster is English and 'Merican...and both badly...

    Thanks for an unusual and cool idea for posting...like a podcast only without taking 45 minutes...

    By Blogger Ron, at Wed Dec 14, 10:44:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Oh Victoria, I can't tell you how much I did like that. You've sent shivers through me pronouncing my name. You've a very desirable way of speaking six plain words. What a beautiful idea and indeed, so very enjoyable moments listening to you and playing this game.
    Now for your disappointment....I don't recognize all the languages.
    The first, french, you read the second verse of Baudelaire.

    The second, of course Italian.

    The third, well as soon as you mentioned your Mother, it wasn't even necessary to listen to it, her beloved German.

    The fourth, because I'm having fun and haven't a clue:Greek - that's what it is to me .....

    The Fifth I say is Portuguese, because if I remember, that is your favorite language.

    The sixth....I guess you know I saved that one, don't you? I do believe it will become my favorite words said in what has become my very favorite language, English with a British accent. Or as the British might say, it was said in English, not that stuff you colonials speak.

    My most favorite post, even if I'm wrong about all of them and what a novel idea, much better than listing them in words.

    By Blogger Paul, at Wed Dec 14, 11:49:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I was really WRONG about 4 and 5, wasn't I?
    Maybe even six.

    By Blogger Paul, at Wed Dec 14, 11:56:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Let's see...the French sounded like you were reading a contract or ordering a sandwich...but sexy...

    *LOL!*

    That's funny, Ron. :)

    First, I was waiting for Paul to listen to the mp3s, just like I did with Jose in the Socorro! post -- since he was my "target" this go around.

    Now that he has, I am free to reveal the languages. ;)

    This is Charles Baudelaire's "Fleurs du Mal", "Flowers of Evil", which is one of the greatest series of poems of all time.

    However, it's not for the faint of heart, since the topics he mentions are almost x-rated (for their time).

    And when you read it, said my old French instructor, you have to give it an air of urgency and melodrama...which I think I did.

    Too much, maybe.

    Don't forget to lower your volumes for this one...

    the Italian...you're clearing dancing in the Trevi Fountain with Marcello...

    *splashes Ron*

    Actually, I didn't like the way this turned out.

    I may do another one, for Renato's nonna's sake. ;)

    the German...I...I feel like invading Poland all of a sudden!

    Har-har-de-har.

    Invade Russia first!

    the next...is that Portugese? Just guessing...

    Close, but no cigarillo. Castillian Spanish. ;)

    the Russian, is it?...sounds like your explaining medical instructions..

    You know, it's VERY funny that you say Russian.

    I once met some Brazilians who were stopped in the street in Finland (which is right next to Russia, obviously).

    The Finn was about to address them in Russian, when he realised maybe the Brazilians were not Russian.

    He said, "just listening to you for a moment, made me think you were speaking Russian".

    And I think that shows your good ear, actually.

    In Russian and in Brazilian Portuguese (which this is), they pronounce vodka, the same way.

    "Vodzh-kah"

    ahhh...Liz Hurley returns!

    Heh.

    All I can muster is English and 'Merican...and both badly...

    Oh, one day I'll do my Alabama cornpone Scarlet O'Hara accent, shall I?

    Thanks for an unusual and cool idea for posting...like a podcast only without taking 45 minutes...

    Exactly!

    Besides, I don't have squirrels or bats, except in my belfry. ;)

    Thanks for hanging in there today, Ron!

    And I take requests from ALL my readers. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 12:05:00 am GMT-5  

  • Oh Victoria, I can't tell you how much I did like that.

    Awww. :)

    You've sent shivers through me pronouncing my name. You've a very desirable way of speaking six plain words.

    Wellll. I could mention that once I was accosted in a London club by a guy who left me his card.

    He ran a phone sex racket, and said if I wanted to, I could make us both a small fortune oohing-and-ahhing to random guys on the phone. :)

    (I was young, I needed the money...but I declined. Bah, I'm so square)

    What a beautiful idea and indeed, so very enjoyable moments listening to you and playing this game.

    I'm glad, Paul. :)

    Now for your disappointment....I don't recognize all the languages.
    The first, french, you read the second verse of Baudelaire.


    Bang on! Great job spotting the second verse at that.

    The second, of course Italian.

    "Italiano", si.

    The third, well as soon as you mentioned your Mother, it wasn't even necessary to listen to it, her beloved German.

    Too easy. :)

    The fourth, because I'm having fun and haven't a clue:Greek - that's what it is to me .....

    Now THIS is also interesting.

    Remember how Ron mistook Portuguese for Russian?

    Well! Greek and Spanish have the same "sh" sounds too!

    So you are NOT at all as far off as you think.

    Not for nothing the present Queen of Spain, born a Princess of Greece, speaks flawless Spanish, because as she herself said, both languages are very similar in pronunciation.

    The Fifth I say is Portuguese, because if I remember, that is your favorite language.

    You got it! Good memory too.

    The sixth....I guess you know I saved that one, don't you?

    A great compliment, love. Thanks. :)

    I do believe it will become my favorite words said in what has become my very favorite language, English with a British accent. Or as the British might say, it was said in English, not that stuff you colonials speak.

    Only toffee-nosed gits say that Paul. If you ever hear a Brit call you a colonial, tell him, "Victoria told me I should punch you in the nose".

    Then level him.

    If it's a her, well, throw her a dirty look.

    My most favorite post, even if I'm wrong about all of them and what a novel idea, much better than listing them in words.

    Thanks, Paul.

    It was A LOT of fun, despite giving me headaches when I posted the wrong links, etc.

    I know there is at least one speaker of each language on my blog, so if I made mistakes, they'll soon correct me.

    Oh and for the record, my mother said the German one sounded like I was a suicidal Norwegian. :)

    (Since I posted it so late, I'll leave it 'til noon tomorrow -- I'm cooking up a longish, hopefully more traditional post)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 12:14:00 am GMT-5  

  • Maybe even six.

    LOL...yeah, Paul, wassamatter you? Can't you recognise Esperanto when you hear it??

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 12:15:00 am GMT-5  

  • Oh, I have a phone sex story! A friend of mine got in trouble for spending $45,000 on phone sex! Yes, $45K! When he first told me this, I went through many logical questionings, (like, hey, you could pay for a lot of REAL sex for $45K!) but found that he was quite a repressed person about dealing with others, but, ah, the phone appeared to be free! Mucho therapy occured!

    But I digress.

    A while later, a group of 6 of us went to a newly opened Irish bar, which had an Irish waitress whose lilt frankly, ensorcelled me! When we all walked out later, and I pointed this out to my friend with the 'problem', his response was to say, "Yeah, I've paid for worse voices than that!"

    Just thought I'd share...

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Dec 15, 12:34:00 am GMT-5  

  • hmmm...maybe some Holderlin or Goethe in German? Just a thought...

    my best friend's 3 1/2 year old knows how to excuse himself for farting in German...which I can't spell here, but it's very funny when he says it!

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Dec 15, 12:41:00 am GMT-5  

  • Oh and for the record, my mother said the German one sounded like I was a suicidal Norwegian. :)

    LOL! Praise only if you meant to sound like one, I suppose.
    How many languages can she speak? Mothers only need to speak one, really.
    Mine could speak Polish, if I was swore at ever, it was only with those words. I learned they were swear words because if I repeated them, I'd get smacked.

    By Blogger Paul, at Thu Dec 15, 12:51:00 am GMT-5  

  • My, how I wish I was such a cunning---better not finish that thought! Back in the day, I dated an English girl whose mother would have simply said "Why can't they all just speak English?" I've liked the Brits ever since! You do know you have every guy hating Paul right now, don't you?

    By Anonymous Darrell, at Thu Dec 15, 12:52:00 am GMT-5  

  • Ron wins commenter of the day: a phone sex story and a drop of le pauvre Holterling's name.

    But German needs to be sung.

    By Blogger JSU, at Thu Dec 15, 01:21:00 am GMT-5  

  • Victoria sounds great in every language! Victoria, how about doing a video also?

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Thu Dec 15, 01:26:00 am GMT-5  

  • Oh, I have a phone sex story!

    See what I started?

    A friend of mine got in trouble for spending $45,000 on phone sex! Yes, $45K!

    And this "friend" I hope could afford it, Ron, could you, I mean he? ;)

    When he first told me this, I went through many logical questionings, (like, hey, you could pay for a lot of REAL sex for $45K!)

    No kidding!

    but found that he was quite a repressed person about dealing with others, but, ah, the phone appeared to be free! Mucho therapy occured!

    You know, on the face of it, there is absolutely nothing "wrong" about phone sex -- even with a stranger. ;)

    First, many people (let's face it, mostly men) have sexual needs that must be satisfied, or else dementia occurs.

    And the reason that prostitutes throughout history, have done such booming business, is that they offer that release with none of the 'relationship' "hassle".

    Phone sex is like that, but erm, yes, it's a remove from the actual physicality of touching your body to another's.

    But I digress.

    I read "I undress" for a moment.

    A while later, a group of 6 of us went to a newly opened Irish bar, which had an Irish waitress whose lilt frankly, ensorcelled me! When we all walked out later, and I pointed this out to my friend with the 'problem', his response was to say, "Yeah, I've paid for worse voices than that!"

    The things men share with each other!

    Just thought I'd share...

    Share and share alike. :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 03:30:00 am GMT-5  

  • LOL! Praise only if you meant to sound like one, I suppose.

    Oh erm, suuuure I did.

    How many languages can she speak?

    English, German, French, some Spanish and some Portuguese. No Italian, but then, I inherited her "ear" for languages.

    She's the type that if she hears it once, she can mimic it like a parrot.

    Her Parisian accent is flawless, and she didn't go to France until she was 18!

    Mothers only need to speak one, really.

    The language of love. :)

    Mine could speak Polish, if I was swore at ever, it was only with those words. I learned they were swear words because if I repeated them, I'd get smacked.

    I bet you Andy Warhol said the same thing.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 03:33:00 am GMT-5  

  • My, how I wish I was such a cunning---better not finish that thought! Back in the day, I dated an English girl whose mother would have simply said "Why can't they all just speak English?"

    I hope you didn't marry her.

    (Watch her be the proud Mrs. Darrell, and me with egg on my face again...)

    I've liked the Brits ever since! You do know you have every guy hating Paul right now, don't you?

    Suffer!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 03:35:00 am GMT-5  

  • Ron wins commenter of the day: a phone sex story and a drop of le pauvre Holterling's name.

    But German needs to be sung.


    I'm not doing Lieder. No way, no way, kein weg!

    What am I -- Schnitzler's Süße Mädel??

    Cheers,
    Mitzi

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 03:37:00 am GMT-5  

  • Victoria sounds great in every language!

    Gracias!

    Te gusto mi acento de gallega arrenpentida? ;)

    Victoria, how about doing a video also?

    Too Madonna, 1985.

    Although I still have the fingerless pink gloves somewhere.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 03:39:00 am GMT-5  

  • French is my mother tongue along with another European language. Your French pronunciation made my toes curl. With my shoes on.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Dec 15, 06:44:00 am GMT-5  

  • You sounded pretty "native" in all of those. Of course, I'm not an authority when it comes to German, for example.

    My favorite was your castellano, largely because of my familiarity with it. I felt like I was watching one of the Antena 3 shows on Telemiami, or walking down La Gran Via in Madrid.

    Now, can you do a Basque or Gallego accent? ;)

    By Blogger Robert, at Thu Dec 15, 09:25:00 am GMT-5  

  • And this "friend" I hope could afford it, Ron, could you, I mean he? ;) Oh, Victoria, surely by now you know my kink doesn't bend that way!

    I read "I undress" for a moment.
    Why undress? You just have to get dressed again...

    What am I -- Schnitzler's Süße Mädel?? I was thinking more Kirsten Flagstad!

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Dec 15, 10:25:00 am GMT-5  

  • Yes Victoria me encanto tu espanol!!!

    For your video I was thinking more Paris Hilton 2005! ;)

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Thu Dec 15, 12:51:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yes, but do you speak "wolbegun"?

    I could use the help with translation, since my son and my best girlfriend's daughter adopted it (made it up) at the beach last summer.

    He uses it when he wants to dis me but doesn't want me to know, the little m****.

    (He is learning Spanish, though, at a tender age for Amurricuns.)

    By Blogger reader_iam, at Thu Dec 15, 01:03:00 pm GMT-5  

  • French is my mother tongue along with another European language. Your French pronunciation made my toes curl. With my shoes on.

    Wow! Now that's a testimonial.

    Merci mille fois Anonyme! ;)

    Bises,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 01:43:00 pm GMT-5  

  • You sounded pretty "native" in all of those.

    Have you ever seen the old American television show, "Your Show of Shows" with Sid Caesar?

    He's my hero.

    He could do a dozen accents and sound authentic in all.

    But better than that, he did it speaking "gibberish".

    Of course, I'm not an authority when it comes to German, for example.

    Good.

    Another picky German telling me how sucky my second language is, compared to, Portuguese or Spanish (my last learned languages), would make me scream.

    My favorite was your castellano, largely because of my familiarity with it.

    Yay! I was hoping you and Jose would like that, especially.

    I felt like I was watching one of the Antena 3 shows on Telemiami, or walking down La Gran Via in Madrid.

    EXACTLY.

    I went for that "chismes en Antena 3" vibe in that recording.

    Think of me as Maria Rosa talking about Carlos de Inglaterra or Ludmilla Bismarck or Isabel Preyssler.

    They drive me NUTS.

    Now, can you do a Basque or Gallego accent? ;)

    I'm not even working on it.

    Although they say the Cuban accent is very similar to the Sevillano (I thought it was Canario?), so maybe I can do that. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 01:48:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I was thinking more Kirsten Flagstad!

    Dude, I'm such an contra-alto.

    I'm relegated to the governess roles in opera (hi JSU!).

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 01:51:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yes Victoria me encanto tu espanol!!!

    Bweno, afinal!

    For your video I was thinking more Paris Hilton 2005! ;)

    Paris as is Paris in the Carl Jr.'s commercial, where she's "washing her car", getting suds all over her cleavage, as she bites into a "hunk"?

    Or Paris, as in Paris in the sex video when all you see is a bony bottom and racoon green eyes, BUT she's doing that thing all men love to have done to them?

    You know, their taxes.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 01:54:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yes, but do you speak "wolbegun"?

    Is that what Garrison Keillor speaks?

    I could use the help with translation, since my son and my best girlfriend's daughter adopted it (made it up) at the beach last summer.

    Oh okay...I flicked all over the CIA manual for foreign languages, and didn't find it.

    Drat! I said too much again.

    He uses it when he wants to dis me but doesn't want me to know, the little m****.

    Ooh, you know it must be bad when the mum has to asterisk the word.

    (He is learning Spanish, though, at a tender age for Amurricuns.)

    Good.

    Once you have a Germanic language, and a Romance language at your command, you have half the world.

    Tell your son, andate, coño!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 15, 01:58:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Sarebbe piu carino se leggessi: "io ho pensato e detto:Ancelotti non capisce un cazzo!!!!!" o forse qualcosa da it.sport.calcio.inter, tanto, siamo noi i vincitori del derby!

    My favourites were Castillian and German. Castillian because it sounded as if you captured a completely different person! I loved the German one because you made it sound sexy.;)

    The italian one sounds too much like my own pronunciation.:)

    By Blogger Renato, at Thu Dec 15, 03:09:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I shall, indeed. Although no doubt I will mangle it. I can read a bit of Spanish, my speak it, for real? Sadly, no.

    My son's actually learning Spanish in kindergarten. (!) They have classes, with the actual language teacher at his school, twice a week.

    But I think his actual motivation is his little "girlfriend" (of going on two years: I think he's going to be the doggedly loyal type, at least in the long run), whose mother speaks Spanish fluently, though a native Iowan, and whose father is Peruvian.

    Ah, nothing like love for motivation ...

    As for the "Keillor" part, I keep thing that TOO! My son's never heard that program, and my best friend's daughter denied the (obvious) connection.

    She's a truthful child, but I don't believer her. It probably is just deeply embedded and therefore unconscious. I love my best friend of 33 years, but we are definitely the, well, definitive, well, definition of a yin-yang friendship.

    As I tell my son (and no doubt he'll say it to me in Spanish one day), "Variety is the spice of life."

    (Hmm, my dashboard widget tells me that's translated into Spanish as "La especia es la variedad de vida." I can see that's literal, but how well do those darn programs actually capture meaning and nuance? Not very, I suppose. But you would have an opinion, yes?)

    By Blogger reader_iam, at Thu Dec 15, 08:00:00 pm GMT-5  

  • "I'm relegated to the governess roles in opera"

    Well, or the pants. And here you were knocking the lovely Rita Cosby...

    By Blogger JSU, at Thu Dec 15, 10:49:00 pm GMT-5  

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