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...a sweatshop of moxie

Monday, September 15, 2008

Lindsay's Got Barack's Back

In a surprising move today, Lindsay Lohan and her gal pal, Samantha Ronson, revealed their Presidential endorsements via Ronson's MySpace blog.

(Wait, La Lohan is gay? When did this happen? And is she Ellen DeGeneres gay, or Anne Heche gay? And by that, I am not implying Lohan is off her rocker like Anne, so don't even go there. If she's happy, I'm doing the 'raising the roof' gesture as I type)

Said the betrothed duo in a joint statement:

I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor. Which is probably all she is qualified to be… Also interesting that she got her passport in 2006.. And that she is not fond of environmental protection considering she's FOR drilling for oil in some of our protected land…. Well hey, if she wants to drill for oil, she should DO IT IN HER OWN backyard. This really shows me her complete lack of real preparation to become the second most powerful person in this country.

As I read this, I feel not unlike a Jehovah's Witness entering the first door not slammed into his face: Yay, where do I begin.

If I got this straight, according to the lesbian thespian, a mere four years ago, Sarah Palin wanted nothing more than to be a television anchor. She was cheesed when Katie Couric was chosen to replace Brokaw, and in a fit of pique, mushed her huskies back to Alaska. Lohan and Ronson now suggest she dredge up the hydrangeas in her backyard in an attempt to find Texas tea.

They continue.

Hmmmm-All of this gets me going-Fear, Anxiety, Concern, Disappointment, and Stress come into play…

Coincidentally, this was the exact reaction of the "Georgia Rule" test audience.

Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe?

Change this around a little, and you'll see a little projection forming:

"Is our country so stupid that the Democrats really need support from a narrow-minded, media obsessed bisexual?"

I know that the most important thing about this election is that people need to exercise their right to vote, regardless of their choice… I would have liked to have remained impartial, however I am afraid that the "lipstick on a pig" comments will overshadow the issues and the fact that I believe Barack Obama is the best choice, in this election, for president…

Not sure I follow, Linds and Sam. You're saying that if Barack Obama hadn't been pounced on for his possible allusion to Palin as a "pig wearing lipstick", that you would've taken the silent road to the ballot box all the way until November 4?

Why, do you fear being black-balled in Hollywood for your support of Obama? I heard it's brutal there for Democrats.

Palin's Desire to "save and convert the gays"-really??

Though the Germanic capitalisation of "Desire" is fun, in a Peyton Place/Palin's Desire kind of way, as is the abruptly hyphenated "-really", the thought process threw me here. It's like a really bad Twitter message, when you just have to squeeze your logic unto the last remaining characters available. The results can be hilarious, as in Matt Damon-talking-about-Disney-movies hilarious.

According to this Associated Press story, the church of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is hosting a kind of conference devoted to the "conversion of Gays" — no kidding.

My prayers are a little more desperate, I'm afraid.

Every night, I ask our Lord to make semi-literate movie stars a little less self-involved, and stop paying attention to what Drew Barrymore texted you on her Blackberry.

In case you were wondering, and I'm fairly sure everyone reading was, here are their official endorsements for US President in 2008.

Lindsay- "I have faith that this country will be all that it can be with the proper guidance. I really hope that all of you make your decisions based on the facts and what feels right to you in your heart-vote for obama!"

Samantha- "I love this country- however i wasn't born here and don't have the right to vote- so i beg of you all to really do your research and be educated when you cast your vote this coming november…. and if you're in doubt- vote for obama! Mainly because if she gets elected my green card probably won't get renewed!!!"


Lindsay and Samantha


All I can say is, I'm safe now after I was naturalised an US citizen 4 years ago. So you know, tough noogies to all you illegals so lovingly protected for years by Senator McCain. I gots mine, suffer!! xoxoxo.

P.S.: Oh, and don't believe everything you hear about Sarah Palin, Miss Lohan. I heard the whole Vice-President thing, well, it's just a stage.

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