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...a sweatshop of moxie

Friday, February 04, 2005

Wag the dog, Lucrezia Borgia

Somebody pinch me. Please.

Few blogs which do not traffic in white slavery will ever start with such a line, but mine will today. For this frisky command is not based on the needs of my libido (which, admittedly, are considerable), but rather the attempt to wake me up from what has seemed a throwback paradigm recently around the world.

See, I lay it squarely at the feet of Baghdad Bob. Remember him? Of course you do.

Anyone who has ever met the architect of a Potemkim Village (and who amongst us has not?) will instantly recognise him as kin to the Dark Ages disinformation merchants, who told you with a straight face the world was flat and taking mercury cured your piles. Gosh they were great.

But Baghdad Bob was one of the ones who are so desperate to put one over on you, that they accomplish exactly the opposite. It's like a Walter Mitty reverie on acid, Red Bull and an AK-47. At least BB was fun though, which says a lot for my ideas of fun.

Less amusing was Viktor Yushchenko's bout with ricin. At first, his facial deterioration was not noticeable, since what Ukrainian looks handsome in the clear light of day after a vodka-bender? Very, very few.

Then it was revealed that he had actually been poisoned ahead of the crucial November Presidential election (the "other" one).

Poisoned? In the year 2004? A.D.?

Now I know why Ceaucescu never wore the same suit twice. Damn those poisonous Christian Dior microfibres! And Mrs. C. being a world-famous chemist too. I bet you she had a kit made up: Blue safe to wear. Pink if its poisoned. Green for more Securitate round-ups.

But if the old Lucrezia Borgia treatment did not have your hackles up, wondering what on earth is next for a world history encore, comes news this February that an Islamist website tried to palm off a supposedly captured GI Joe with a real one. Or was that the other way around? My head spins. I may need another pinch.

Batteries sold separately

All I know is, just when you thought the world was getting saner, something reminds you of Eugene Ionesco and his theatre of the absurd.

The more you can't believe it, the more it's true.

Addendum: Best part of this incident (apart from the fact that it wasn't true, duh) was that it's spawned a cottage industry of fake muppet and action heroes kidnapping claims. Just thinking of this photo...

Capture-me Elmo

...sends me wheezing from so much laughing. As well as this comment from bloggerland:

"I wonder what those bastards are doing to Barbie."


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