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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Holy Guacamole

The other day, someone mentioned to my mother that they had a favourite guacamole recipe, which had been handed down for years in their family. Note, they're Jewish Americans.

Confession time again!

I've only had guacamole once or twice in my life, at the outside.

But I'm not sure if this happens to you, but I'm the kind of person if someone mentions a dish in passing, I immediately want to have it. If I can't, I'll have taste pangs for days until I do.

So the moment my mother told me about the guacamole, I knew I had to have it.

Not having been so lucky as to have been born of Mexican parentage, I had to search for a reliably authentic recipe online.

I knew our Jewish friends would never part with an age-old family secret. Not for under 1000 shekels anyways.

Fortunately, I did find such a recipe, and I deign to share it with you now, for your own shindigs, bat mitzvahs and Super Bowl smokers.

Ingredientes:

2 aguacates maduros
6 tomates
2 dientes de ajo
1 cebolla
2 cucharadas soperas de cilantro chile serrano al gusto
sal

Procedimiento:

Ase los chiles y los tomates. Muela en un molcajete el ajo con la sal y los chiles. Ya bien molidos, agregue los tomates, el aguacate y muela un poco mas.

Para adornar el guacamole, ponga encima la cebolla rebanada y el cilantro picado. Sirva al momento.

Got that?

Note that aguacates are also known as paltas. Very very important detail.

Oh, and I have no earthly idea what a molcajete is, so you're on your own there.

I used an iron.

Mmmmm. Good.

11 Comments:

  • For Sundries readers, a Ron Translation:

    Ase los chiles y los tomates.
    Something about hot chicks; always a good way to start any recipe.

    Muela en un molcajete el ajo con la sal y los chiles.
    let's see...mules produce a cheap wine, which is good with salt and hot chicks. Yes, that's it exactly!

    Ya bien molidos, agregue los tomates, el aguacate y muela un poco mas. You're only good moldy, you fight with the women in your life, who send a wet cat ("aguacate" also being slang for "jazz saxophonist") and a chicken and a mule to church. (presumably some form of saving your eternal soul, the mule representing either John the Baptist, or Fred Mertz in the modern idiom. The chicken is merely lunch.)

    Para adornar el guacamole
    Commandos love your guacamole,

    ponga encima la cebolla rebanada
    which cures your eczema, while improving your rebounding,

    y el cilantro picado. and allows you to smoke really good cigars.

    Sirva al momento. You will beat Guy Pearce in tennis, backwards.

    No need to thank me; glad I had this chance to clear all this up!

    By Blogger Ron, at Tue Jan 10, 01:56:00 am GMT-5  

  • The (non-Ron) recipe omits lime juice...

    By Blogger JSU, at Tue Jan 10, 06:56:00 am GMT-5  

  • Forget what I intended to comment; I am still laughing from Ron's Translation!

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Tue Jan 10, 09:03:00 am GMT-5  

  • I would call you a certain name that begins with "Wise"
    But on Sundries, we don't do that.
    I'm going with Ron's too, if not accurate, I think it should be.... most of it.

    By Blogger Paul, at Tue Jan 10, 11:35:00 am GMT-5  

  • I love whack-a-mole.

    By Blogger Renato, at Tue Jan 10, 12:40:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ya bien molidos, agregue los tomates, el aguacate y muela un poco mas. You're only good moldy, you fight with the women in your life, who send a wet cat ("aguacate" also being slang for "jazz saxophonist") and a chicken and a mule to church. (presumably some form of saving your eternal soul, the mule representing either John the Baptist, or Fred Mertz in the modern idiom. The chicken is merely lunch.)

    *LMAO!*

    All of it, but especially that.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Jan 10, 08:43:00 pm GMT-5  

  • The (non-Ron) recipe omits lime juice...

    Is this authorised by the National Association of Guacamole Expertos, Hoboken Chapter?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Jan 10, 08:45:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Forget what I intended to comment; I am still laughing from Ron's Translation!

    I even taught my Mexican poocher to say "Yo Quiero Guacamole".

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Jan 10, 08:46:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I would call you a certain name that begins with "Wise"
    But on Sundries, we don't do that.


    You can say Wiseacre!!

    I'm going with Ron's too, if not accurate, I think it should be.... most of it.

    Especially the mules produce cheap wine, which is good with salt and hot chicks bit. :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Jan 10, 08:47:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I love whack-a-mole.

    Why you be hatin' on Cindy Crawford. :(

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Jan 10, 08:48:00 pm GMT-5  

  • "I used an iron" - was that a 9-iron or a 7-iron?

    By Anonymous benning, at Tue Jan 10, 09:45:00 pm GMT-5  

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