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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Friday, December 01, 2006

Why Am I Always The Last To Know?

Ahh, the simple joys of a steaming cuppa, morning, noon, or night.

Such is my quest to replicate the perfectly brewed cup of tea, that nothing but an authentic Brown Betty teapot (the traditional 6-cup, of course) will do.



So, what is an expat to do, save to hit speciality grocers around South Florida, where the glazed mother of all goodness can set one back almost U$50, or...to hunt around eBay for a bargain basement version.

Picture me, seated at my computer tonight, inputting "Brown Betty" on Google as my search string, when suddenly, my tired eyes see this:

Brown Pubic Hair Color
bettybeauty.com Buy Brown Betty Color Kit Just $20. Safe Color For Hair Down There


As one of the great social commentators of our time, Mike Myers, once said, "Squeeze me. Baking powder??".

"For The Hair Down There"

You've got to pulling my leg. At least, I hope that's my leg.

Honestly, I hadn't a clue. What a blow to my female ego, me with my beauty salon and spa addiction, too. Eyelashes, sure. But I suddenly get visuals of Cleopatra and henna which really are quite disturbing.

You know, I don't know which part of the search result is the more startling.

The shock of cold water that is the word pubic, or the tagline this product was given, the better to encourage women to rush out and buy up a boatload of the stuff, seen in all its glory, below.



Don't worry, bombshells. It's available in blonde, too. And apparently, pink.



I really need to get out more.

P.S.: I got my Brown Betty -- it's on its way. And as soon as I put the gloves on, I'll pour you some, too.

19 Comments:

  • I got my Brown Betty -- it's on its way. And as soon as I put the gloves on, I'll pour you some, too.

    That's ok. I like the color my pubes are. But thanks for the interest.

    Ummm...what? I take two lumps with my tea.

    By Blogger I R A Darth Aggie, at Fri Dec 01, 09:41:00 am GMT-5  

  • Do you agree that the Brown Betty teapot [6 cup size] makes the best tea? If so, why? If not, why not?

    By Blogger Ruth Anne Adams, at Fri Dec 01, 10:05:00 am GMT-5  

  • That's ok. I like the color my pubes are. But thanks for the interest.

    Ewwwwwwwwww.

    Oh wait, I started it.

    Ummm...what? I take two lumps with my tea.

    I'm odd and rather hypocritical (no really).

    When I'm amongst my countrymen, either in England or here, I take my tea without sugar.

    When I'm alone, I sometimes take it with THREE lumps, although not always.

    See, sweets are considered the sign of white trashitude and consciously bred out of you as you grow older, in my school.

    However, nothing will prevent me from having a sweet cafecito. I don't care if the Queen stares daggers.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Dec 01, 04:32:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Do you agree that the Brown Betty teapot [6 cup size] makes the best tea? If so, why? If not, why not?

    Hey Ruth Anne. :)

    See, it's like this. A Brown Betty is made of special clay which for whatever reason, seems to swirl the tea leaves around in such a way, that it takes out every last bit of aroma from them.

    Now, I have all kinds of teas, even some from Fortnum which cost the price of a small automobile per pound.

    But I prefer a Brown Betty teapot, aligned to PG Tips, for my morning cuppa (that's the one they give you, as you wake up. Breakfast is always coffee).

    I have any amount of teapots here, but a Brown Betty is the ne plus ultra of British households, no matter how grand.

    P.S.: Does this answer your question, or were you angling for a comment on how to make the correct/best cup of tea, as we do it?

    I can post that too!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Dec 01, 04:37:00 pm GMT-5  

  • It's very un-British, but my mom has become converted to this gadget.

    Good to see, Vic, that you're well enough to take part in the great American pastime -- shopping.

    By Blogger JSU, at Fri Dec 01, 07:25:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Victoria: Actually I was asking because my husband just started drinking tea and I want to encourage it, but I have no clue about the best way to make a great pot o'tea. Imagine that, being and American and all.

    Feel free to comment, write a post on the subject, whatever. Also: I need a great movie recommendation...we have a big date night planned tomorrow. Borat looks to be on the list. I'm paying for a sitter for the three wee ones, so it's gotta' be a good movie.

    By Blogger Ruth Anne Adams, at Fri Dec 01, 07:35:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yeah, Vicky, pray tell us how you make tea ;)

    I personally am a tea drinker (except for the first cup in the morning, which must be coffee, prefferably a double espresso). And here's how I do it:
    The teapot has to have these features:

    1. A pinhhole in the lid
    2. The lid must have the protruding latch thingie
    3. It is not just a hole in the wall leading into the spout, but many small holes, forming something like a mesh to stop the leaves from entering your cup.
    Vicky, does the Brown Betty have these?

    My favorite black tea is plain big-leaf Ceylon (and that's hard to come by in the usual places it the States). I only accept non-Ceylon tea if it is aromatized in some way - like Chinese lychee, or Indian Earl Grey. And my favorite green is Special Gunpowder (that one's Chinese).

    And finally, while I'waiting for the water to boil, I steep the leaves in the pot in a little whisky or cognac - just enough to wet them. This aromatizes the tea a little and improves the flavor extraction.

    By Anonymous Elko, at Sat Dec 02, 01:01:00 am GMT-5  

  • It's very un-British, but my mom has become converted to this gadget.

    OMG, I love it! Your people have the best taste, as ever.

    Good to see, Vic, that you're well enough to take part in the great American pastime -- shopping.

    I did some of that tonight, and all.

    And JSU, I miss you too. Believe me, even though I'm not a good girl just now.

    I will be back.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Dec 02, 03:58:00 am GMT-5  

  • Victoria: Actually I was asking because my husband just started drinking tea and I want to encourage it, but I have no clue about the best way to make a great pot o'tea. Imagine that, being and American and all.

    Yeah, well you guys just never stood a chance after the Boston Tea Massacre Party, as I call it.

    Fancy dressing up as indians, and sneakily ditching thousands of pounds of tea (back when a pound was worth a small fortune) in the Charles River.

    I would've kicked you out of the Union, myself!

    Feel free to comment, write a post on the subject, whatever.

    Ahem. I hope you liked it! And you feel free to ask more questions.

    Tea and the weather -- how fascinating is conversation in Britain, eh?

    Also: I need a great movie recommendation...we have a big date night planned tomorrow. Borat looks to be on the list. I'm paying for a sitter for the three wee ones, so it's gotta' be a good movie.

    Well, by now I know you a little, so I have a better handle on what you might like, film-wise.

    Also, I have NEVER forgotten your Althouse comment that you guys rarely go out to catch a flick, because with your size family, that could almost be in the 70-100$ area (which Elizabeth, the resident lefty lesbie from New Orleans, not that she's not nice, said, see! it's not because of lack of good movies by Hollywood, but because of the steepness of ticket price).

    So here goes:

    First, if it's a proper "date night" with romantical shadings, you'll want a drama or a comedy which leaves you happy, not grossed out.

    I happen to think Borat is a brilliant piece of satire, but God, I hated it. Yes, it's possible to think something is magnificent, and yet dislike it intensely, too. I rather suspect you're like that too, Ruth Anne, but I don't recommend Borat for tomorrow.

    Looking up your local theatres, I see that you have a brand-spanking new cinemahouse near you, The Grand 18.

    That sounds excellent. Nothing like first-class surroundings to put you into that winning positive mood suitable for romance, and hey, at $7 per adult ticket, that's a steal compared to the $9-10 range here in SoFla. Be happy.

    Now, what piccie?

    You know my view on the Queen, which however is playing only at the Carmike-10.

    Then there's Bobby. As I reviewed it on Yahoo Movies!, it's well-meaning, but dayum, where's Bob Kennedy? Frankly, it's just too scattered-brained for its own good, with its list of 22 A-list Hollywood stars beckoning you to come look at how they can work for scale for such a noble cause. Pass.

    There's The Nativity Story, which I just saw tonight. Eh. I liked it, but it's a bit lame storywise (yes! Odd but true). I highly highly suggest you put viewing this until closer to Dec. 25. Pass.

    Stranger than Fiction I very much liked, despite some bad reviews I read before going. It's not quirky exactly, but rather, engaging and fiddles with "smart". I've heard it called Ferrell's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and that's not far off. Mark this as a "Possible".

    Deck the Halls is mindless boobery, whilst I haven't as yet seen Turistas (hehe, Brazilians are so pissed at this movie), or Tenacious D, because I loathe Jack Black. So Pass here too.

    The kiddie flicks are very good. Flushed Away and Happy Feet are both darling, albeit HF is just too PC-liberal-eco-friendly-progressive for words. Possibles?

    I am about to watch the Fountain in the morning, as I have an advance copy. This received all kinds of horrible reviews, though I admit, I love Aronofsky's works so far, so I should be inclined to like it.

    Haven't seen Deja Vu or Saw III, or indeed, Santa Clause 3 ("the return of the icicle").

    However, there is one sure-fire movie currently playing at the Grand, which appeals to all age groups, sexes, or indeed, tastes.

    Casino Royale.

    You'll love it. And so will hubby.

    Lemme know if this helps you. I can do more.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Dec 02, 04:17:00 am GMT-5  

  • I just read my film suggestion commentary.

    I think I was too coy about most of the movies, but also, it was getting to be War and Peace-like in length.

    Just to say that Casino Royale is unlike any Bond flick you've ever seen.

    It's almost a reboot of the series, rather like the excellent Batman Begins was.

    Without too much spoiling, there is very little of the "funner" aspects of Bond, such as Q and the gadgets, or the Aston-Martins with the erm, gadgets, and the insouciance of the comedic lines, as delivered by Moore or Brosnan.

    If anything, it's macho, but there's a hidden depth of feeling about this Daniel Craig, which evokes the earliest Bond films, which to my mind, have never been surpassed.

    He's not quite Sean Connery, in either manner or never ever looks, but he wears his emotions close to his vest, until the scenes where he's so raw and honest, it hurts.

    I can't wait for the next Craig installment, to see where this goes.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Dec 02, 04:24:00 am GMT-5  

  • Yeah, Vicky, pray tell us how you make tea ;)

    Hey Elko, my old buddy, my old Bulgarian pal!

    I'll be back on RSS, as soon as I can...I was fiddling with a return tomorrow for the Spurs-Arse derby, but I don't know if I can. We'll see.

    I personally am a tea drinker (except for the first cup in the morning, which must be coffee, prefferably a double espresso).

    Well, remember that I also said I have to have coffee at breakfast.

    What I meant by first cup, is that cup which your mother or maid brings to you, as you awaken from your sleep.

    Coffee would be too much of a shock to your system then, I think, never mind a doppio espresso! ;)

    And here's how I do it:
    The teapot has to have these features:


    Ooh.

    1. A pinhhole in the lid
    2. The lid must have the protruding latch thingie
    3. It is not just a hole in the wall leading into the spout, but many small holes, forming something like a mesh to stop the leaves from entering your cup.
    Vicky, does the Brown Betty have these?


    Erm, no, it doesn't...this sounds very Turkish, and no surprise there. ;)

    My favorite black tea is plain big-leaf Ceylon (and that's hard to come by in the usual places it the States).

    Is there an online Bulgarian grocer, like there is for British grocers?

    I only accept non-Ceylon tea if it is aromatized in some way - like Chinese lychee, or Indian Earl Grey. And my favorite green is Special Gunpowder (that one's Chinese).

    Of course, it's very famous.

    But it's curious that you or you guys like aromatised teas.

    Only the very upper-class in Britain like that. The upper-middle-classes, like the Blairs, would too, as well as the abominable herbal teas like Tazo.

    I just can't take that, Elko, sorry. We can't agree on everything. ;)

    And finally, while I'waiting for the water to boil, I steep the leaves in the pot in a little whisky or cognac - just enough to wet them. This aromatizes the tea a little and improves the flavor extraction.

    My God, what a poetic vision this is.

    I love it, Elko. And despite my words to the contrary, I think I'll infuse my tealeaves next time, with a little Courvoisier.

    Mersi!
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Dec 02, 04:30:00 am GMT-5  

  • Hey Vicky! Why aren't you asleep ;)

    No, no, I'm a night person, and the most painful thing for me is waking up. I need all the jolt I can get as early as possible. Double espresso is exactly what Elko ordered.

    About aromatic teas - I'm afraid this is my personal preference. In Bulgaria (unlike Turkey, or Russia) tea is not really so popular; it is more like the US in that respect - coffee rules. So, even though there are Bulgarian online grocers in the States, they don't carry that kind of tea (if any). I buy it from Russian groceries.

    And have fun with strengthening your cuppa ;)

    By Anonymous Elko, at Sat Dec 02, 04:59:00 am GMT-5  

  • Mega-dittoes on Casino Royale, Victoria.

    About the tea and the, uh, other: I have no opinion, other than some things should just be left alone.

    By Blogger Pete, at Sat Dec 02, 05:22:00 am GMT-5  

  • Hey Vicky! Why aren't you asleep ;)

    Because it's Friday, granpa! ;)

    No, no, I'm a night person, and the most painful thing for me is waking up. I need all the jolt I can get as early as possible. Double espresso is exactly what Elko ordered.

    My constitution doesn't need that early morning jolt, despite the fact that I too (as you noted) am a night person.

    However, I will refrain from passing judgement, until I have tried your espresso in the morning.

    I hope Mrs. Elko won't mind.

    About aromatic teas - I'm afraid this is my personal preference. In Bulgaria (unlike Turkey, or Russia) tea is not really so popular;

    Oh, duh. That is not true in Romania either, that is, they are a tea drinking people, though they certainly love their Turkish coffee -- yet the closer you get to Bulgaria, the more coffee becomes prominent. I should've known!

    it is more like the US in that respect - coffee rules. So, even though there are Bulgarian online grocers in the States, they don't carry that kind of tea (if any). I buy it from Russian groceries.

    Extraordinary. You must share your secrets about that.

    And have fun with strengthening your cuppa ;)

    I think I'll do that now, actually. ;)

    Cheers,
    V.

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Dec 03, 02:12:00 am GMT-5  

  • Mega-dittoes on Casino Royale, Victoria.

    What do you think about Craig, in relation to the other possible candidates, like Clive Owen?

    About the tea and the, uh, other: I have no opinion, other than some things should just be left alone.

    Quite.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Dec 03, 02:14:00 am GMT-5  

  • I hope Ruth Anne and hubby enjoyed whatever it was that they saw.

    Holla back, grrrl.

    Cheers,
    V.

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Dec 03, 02:14:00 am GMT-5  

  • Victoria,

    I think Craig was surprisingly good. I was with those who first questioned his choice but, admittedly, I had never seen his work until Munich. He had that certain feral quality that many say Fleming had in mind for Bond from the first - I've read several, though not all, of Fleming's novels and agree the character and intent is not at all like what appears on the screen. That being said, I would have been perfectly happy with Clive Owen, because I think he possesses some of the same qualities as Craig. That is, neither of them are merely purty boys, like Pierce Brosnan, but a throwback to the master, Connery.

    From the time of Craig's announcement until the movie's release, I'd warmed up enough to the idea of Craig playing Bond so that his blonde hair was not a distraction at all and I settled back to see what the producers had done with the franchise. If you're a fan, and I'm a shameless one - am I the only one who liked Timothy Dalton? Anyone? Anyone? - I think you can't help but enjoy this return to basics and respect for the source material as well as the updates. But if you're looking for just a rolicking good time, there's that, too.

    So, to answer your question, I think Craig handles himself, and the character, quite well.

    By Blogger Pete, at Sun Dec 03, 07:30:00 am GMT-5  

  • a bit late, perhaps, but of RAF interest...

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/6206738.stm

    By Blogger Ron, at Tue Dec 05, 02:06:00 am GMT-5  

  • I buy it from Russian groceries.
    Extraordinary. You must share your secrets about that.

    No secret, just plain shopping. Luckily, there's a Russian grocery in Baltimore that I visit when I'm down there from New York. I am there now, went to it yesterday; unfortunately they no longer carry the good BG pickles. But they had pickles from India instead. (Well, actually, they had BG pickles, in giant jars of 3.2 litres, but they were rather biggish ones, not the wee gherkins they should be)

    Now, online: malincho.com is a BG online grocery that illustrates my point. If curious, go there and click on 'tea'. You will witness the same ignorance as in the States, namely calling herbal infusions 'teas'. This has always annoyed me, and I was trying to correct this mistake while still in BG, to no avail. In the US, I don't even try. (BTW, they do carry PG Tips, FWIW).

    Noteworthy items on malincho.com:

    1. The BBB juices. The only fruit juice I drink in the US (that B-more Russian grocery sells them too). My faves are Apple, Black currant, Pink grapefruit, Wild berries, Tomato, and Red orange.
    2. The specialty meats, especially the lukanka, sudjuk, Hungarian salami and the paprica-coated pastarma.
    3. The Feta and Kashkaval cheeses

    Enjoy! ;)

    By Anonymous Elko, at Sun Dec 10, 09:28:00 pm GMT-5  

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