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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Monday, February 05, 2007

The Yes Party

I swore to myself I wouldn't blog about this, but I can't help it, it's just TOO good to pass up.

So, we had two of my dad's colleagues over to our home, for a Super Bowl get-together, since these two gentlemen are Latin American physicians who don't know from pigskin -- thus were rather lost about this other All-American celebration.

(The other quintessential American one, of course, being Thanksgiving, although you can make a case for the Fourth of July, I guess)

But before our shindig began, my mother went to get our hors d'oeuvres tray we had pre-ordered from a "high-end" market, in South Beach.

High-end is currently my mother's favourite phrase, by the way. It recently replaced "old guard".

And before that, "bling-bling", but I digress.

Well, she was gone a little longer than we had anticipated, so I decided to call her on the mobile. All I heard, when she answered, was the most outrageous loud talking, and the thump-thump of a DJ spinning in the background.

Where did this woman get to??

"I'm at the yes party!"

"The wha-??"

"A party for the Super Bowl by sports people."

(Suddenly, it dawned on me)

"Um, you're at the S.I. Party?? Sports Illustrated??"



"Oh, it stands for Sports Illustrated, oh yes, I remember seeing the sign now."

"Wait, no, back up. How on earth did you get inside the most happening party for the Super Bowl, on the whole of South Beach??"

(Well, next to the ESPN Party, the CBS Party, the Playstation Party, the Paris Hilton Party, etc. etc.)

"There was this huge man at the door."

(Obviously, she was a little unclear about the door policy regarding bouncers)

"And since I wanted to see what was happening, I went inside. Well, this man who looks like Simon [a neighbour of ours, who works out like a mofo at Gold's Gym every day] put his hand nearly on my face, and said I couldn't go in."

"No kidding..."

(Translation, "Of course you can't go in, you crazy German woman!")

"He said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, but this is for important people only.' I said, 'But I AM an important person.' And then I was inside."

"Whoa."

"It's all right, but I've seen better bling-bling in Palm Beach. People are actually wearing t-shirts and shorts. Yech."

(Obviously, 'bling-bling' had made a mini-comeback)

With that, we hung up, after she promised to get home lickety-split, since our guests were surely on their way over.

Oh, and she did see famous people, she later told me when I pumped her for more info -- well, you would.

The only problem is, not being a sports fan, they meant nothing to her.

Now, if she had seen Paris Hilton, that's another story. She would've bowled over any beefy guard to get to see her bling-bling.

My mother. What a character.

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19 Comments:

  • the yes party....my coffee-deprived brain didn't get it at first...sehr gut! Your mom sounds cool...maybe you've a good post or two in having an adventure of some kind (shopping?) with her...

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Feb 05, 08:34:00 am GMT-5  

  • First off, did you pay your licensing fee to the NFL for the use of "Super Bowl" (tm)? no? dirty little thief!

    Now, if she had seen Paris Hilton, that's another story. She would've bowled over any beefy guard to get to see her bling-bling.

    Ewwwww. I'm a guy, but I wouldn't go out of my way to see Paris' bling-bling when she exposes it so wantonly.

    Wait...are you talking about jewlery?

    By Blogger I R A Darth Aggie, at Mon Feb 05, 09:59:00 am GMT-5  

  • the yes party....my coffee-deprived brain didn't get it at first...sehr gut!

    Neither did I. At first. Even with coffee. ;)

    Your mom sounds cool...

    Nonono. Parents who smoke pot with their kids are cool.

    My mum RIPS IT UP. She's beyond cool. She's nuts.

    maybe you've a good post or two in having an adventure of some kind (shopping?) with her...

    Ohhhh yes.

    Like the one about Liza Minelli...or Lee Radziwill...or when she hired a van and some wigs...or...when she sold a handgun to a cop in South America...or...

    Well, lots. :)

    Stay tuned!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Feb 05, 01:13:00 pm GMT-5  

  • First off, did you pay your licensing fee to the NFL for the use of "Super Bowl" (tm)? no? dirty little thief!

    OMG. First I downloaded Tiny Tim's album on the internets, now this. I've no moral compass whatsoever!

    Ewwwww. I'm a guy, but I wouldn't go out of my way to see Paris' bling-bling when she exposes it so wantonly.

    Miss Hilton exposed her bling-bling wantonly? Oh! The sex tape, IRA baby.

    I thought you had confuzzled her with Miss Lindsay Ho-han, who showed her shaved oopsie when getting out of a car.

    Wait...are you talking about jewlery?

    Maybe.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Feb 05, 01:16:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Did I tell my story about going to Sharon Stone's birthday party?

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Feb 05, 02:09:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Did I tell my story about going to Sharon Stone's birthday party?

    Tell! Does it involved cleavage?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Feb 05, 02:17:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Just my luck, I'd get into the Nunca party--Not Under No Circumstances Anyhow...

    By Blogger Ruth Anne Adams, at Mon Feb 05, 03:27:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ms. Stone's birthday party shows what a doof I am! A few years ago, I was friends with a guy who was in a lot of technical post-production crews, and knew a lot of people. So he invited me to the party -- sponsered by Revlon -- and there was much milling about with the extremely attractive and moi! I think the most interesting person I met was a guy who was nerdier than Buddy Holly, who edited an chemical journal by day and wrote porn scripts/novels at night. (for a lot of coin!)

    Ms. Stone was surrounded by a phalanx of sycophants, and I never did met her. But my friend introduced me to his boss, a king hell bastard of a producer (whom I can't say!) who is pretty famous. But despite his evil rep, we had a good conversation for at least a half hour. Later, my friend asked me how much of the model talent I was able to "pull." "Huh?" went Ron. He explained to the dumb Midwesterner that I was observed by every bim in the room who thought they could get to Mr. Producer through my Close Personal Friendship to him...and what would I get? Not much imagination is needed...and I missed it!

    ah well...

    Why do midwesteners like to fly?
    Because of the food!

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Feb 05, 03:53:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ms. Stone's birthday party shows what a doof I am! A few years ago, I was friends with a guy who was in a lot of technical post-production crews, and knew a lot of people. So he invited me to the party -- sponsered by Revlon -- and there was much milling about with the extremely attractive and moi! I think the most interesting person I met was a guy who was nerdier than Buddy Holly, who edited an chemical journal by day and wrote porn scripts/novels at night. (for a lot of coin!)

    Ms. Stone was surrounded by a phalanx of sycophants, and I never did met her. But my friend introduced me to his boss, a king hell bastard of a producer (whom I can't say!) who is pretty famous. But despite his evil rep, we had a good conversation for at least a half hour. Later, my friend asked me how much of the model talent I was able to "pull." "Huh?" went Ron. He explained to the dumb Midwesterner that I was observed by every bim in the room who thought they could get to Mr. Producer through my Close Personal Friendship to him...and what would I get? Not much imagination is needed...and I missed it!

    ah well...

    Why do midwesteners like to fly?
    Because of the food!

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Feb 05, 03:57:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ms. Stone's birthday party shows what a doof I am! A few years ago, I was friends with a guy who was in a lot of technical post-production crews, and knew a lot of people. So he invited me to the party -- sponsered by Revlon -- and there was much milling about with the extremely attractive and moi! I think the most interesting person I met was a guy who was nerdier than Buddy Holly, who edited an chemical journal by day and wrote porn scripts/novels at night. (for a lot of coin!)

    Ms. Stone was surrounded by a phalanx of sycophants, and I never did met her. But my friend introduced me to his boss, a king hell bastard of a producer (whom I can't say!) who is pretty famous. But despite his evil rep, we had a good conversation for at least a half hour. Later, my friend asked me how much of the model talent I was able to "pull." "Huh?" went Ron. He explained to the dumb Midwesterner that I was observed by every bim in the room who thought they could get to Mr. Producer through my Close Personal Friendship to him...and what would I get? Not much imagination is needed...and I missed it!

    ah well...

    Why do midwesteners like to fly?
    Because of the food!

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Feb 05, 04:00:00 pm GMT-5  

  • OMG. First I downloaded Tiny Tim's album on the internets, now this. I've no moral compass whatsoever!

    It is behaviour like this that will lead to destruction of the Western Civilization! excellent work!!

    I thought you had confuzzled her with Miss Lindsay Ho-han, who showed her shaved oopsie when getting out of a car.

    Whom do you think taught Miss Ho-han that was a quick and easy way to win friends and influence people? none other than the indomitable Miss Hilton. She's also mentored Brittany Spears in that technique late last year.

    By Blogger I R A Darth Aggie, at Mon Feb 05, 04:04:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Update:

    My mother went to the Spy Store today, and purchased a voice-activated recorder.

    "Just in case."

    It's a wonder I came out half-way normal.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Feb 05, 05:01:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Victoria, sorry about the extra posts again...blogger has been driving me nuts! I'm not sure if it posts a comment or not! Maddening! I also can't see how I would delete them...


    Ronski

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Feb 05, 08:51:00 pm GMT-5  

  • My mother. What a character.

    Quite!

    [I'd insert a comment about understated reserve here, but hesitate to do so lest I be tarred and feathered by the PC Posse patroling the internet of subliminal anti-British feelings, if you know what I mean.]

    I missed this story earlier - got quite a chuckle about the "Yes Party." The Spy Store escapade is delightful. Your mom sounds like great fun.

    By Blogger Internet Ronin, at Mon Feb 05, 09:48:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Just my luck, I'd get into the Nunca party--Not Under No Circumstances Anyhow...

    Lololol.

    I have to use that one day.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Feb 06, 12:45:00 am GMT-5  

  • Ms. Stone was surrounded by a phalanx of sycophants, and I never did met her

    I remember this story! So you must have told it to me, either here or privately, Ron. :)

    Don't sweat the dupes; as soon as Blogger let's me, I'll bin it!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Feb 06, 12:46:00 am GMT-5  

  • Quite!

    She's embarrassing. And glamourous. And maddening. And magnificent. And loving. And always crazy.

    Daughters of these kinds of larger-than-life mums are often rather introspective (and natural writers...), because, well they have to be to try to make sense of what the heck is going on.

    But I have also heard it say that a woman eventually becomes her mother, and well, I feel though I can never climb to her heights of whimsy, I'm already well on my way.

    [I'd insert a comment about understated reserve here, but hesitate to do so lest I be tarred and feathered by the PC Posse patroling the internet of subliminal anti-British feelings, if you know what I mean.]

    Oh come on! If the PC Posse dare to intrude on our idyll here, they will be summarily deleted or worse. ;)

    I don't take offence easily, except if something is very thoughtless or vulgar. Even then, we can talk about it first.

    I missed this story earlier - got quite a chuckle about the "Yes Party." The Spy Store escapade is delightful. Your mom sounds like great fun.

    She came home after telling me about the Spy Store, and told me she that she saw Billy Joel not ten feet away from her, in the shop, not even trying to go incognito or anything.

    BILLY JOEL! Who is he spying on?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Tue Feb 06, 12:52:00 am GMT-5  

  • The BEST Super Bowl Party I've ever heard!!! As for crazy mothers, ours rock. Unfortunately, mine is now dead (I don't say I've lost her because I know EXACTLY where she is) and I miss her everyday. My children used to whisper under their breaths to me after an excrusiatingly colorful antic "She's batshit crazy Mama!" Yes, and I hope to follow proudly in those size 7 1/2 footsteps. Here's to BSC Mamas!

    By Blogger Lost but not alone, at Wed Feb 07, 02:39:00 pm GMT-5  

  • "She came home after telling me about the Spy Store, and told me she that she saw Billy Joel not ten feet away from her, in the shop, not even trying to go incognito or anything.

    BILLY JOEL! Who is he spying on?"


    Perhaps that's why he was in the spy store: He wasn't spying on anyone, he was being spied upon. So he needed some supersecretspydisguises. (Probably to protect himself from the paparazzi... or possibly an ex-wife.)

    -Lisa the Interloper

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Nov 05, 01:25:00 pm GMT-5  

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