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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN:
My friends that chicken crossed the road because he's a maverick. A real maverick who wants to reach out across the road to the chickens on the other side. He's going against the chickens on his own side because he's a maverick chicken.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hard working American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only crossroads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.......reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one? ________________

(Via SHF)

EXTRAS: What, no Sarah Palin?? Let me have a go at some others. UPDATE: Added some more inside the blogway jokes.

SARAH PALIN:
Obama voted to fund the chicken to cross the road in Paris, France. I kid you not!

TINA FEY AS SARAH PALIN:
Because chickens are not as tasty as moose, you betcha.

ALEC BALDWIN:
Sarah Palin's chicken is way hotter than Kim Basinger's.

PEGGY NOONAN:
The chicken killed.

INSTAPUNDIT:
Should I vote for the libertarian chicken?

ANN ALTHOUSE:
Chickens crossing the road are a hoax, like my cruel neutrality.

THE ANCHORESS:
I'll pray a novena for the chicken.

MICHELLE MALKIN:
You know what goes good with chicken? A crap sandwich.

ALLAHPUNDIT:
We have to be realistic about the chicken's chances to get run over.

ANDREW SULLIVAN:
We haven't seen the chicken's DNA results. Why?

DAVID AXELROD ASTROTURFER:
As a lifelong conservative chicken, I am appalled at the direction this chicken is taking.

ACE OF SPADES:
That chicken is a flaming douche.

CHARLES JOHNSON:
As long as it's not a young earth chicken.

BILL AYERS:
Guilty as hell. Free as a chicken.

MICHELLE OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road to get away from Barack's stinky breath.

RASHID KHALIDI:
It's an Israeli chicken!

TONY REZKO:
I'm singing like a chicken.

REVEREND JEREMIAH WRIGHT:
Because the roosters are coming home to chicken.

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