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...a sweatshop of moxie

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Red Carpet

Last night's Oscars might've been deadly dull in the first two hours, only hitting their stride in the last, but they did have a certain welcome glamour not seen in previous editions.

I think its due to the transition from the older generation of Hollywood luminaries of Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor to the younger generation of Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman, finally coming into its own.

It's not surprising that the dresses seen on the Red Carpet this year reminded one of the 1950s more than any other era, one captivating in its silky elegance, with its Marilyn Monroe off-the-shoulder dresses, chignons and beauty marks.

Perhaps the only intrusion into this reverie were some of the tattoos to be seen on the various body parts...not of the men, but of the women who otherwise bedazzled the eye.

Ah well. It can't be 1950 forever.


THE QUEEN - Kate Winslet

THE KING - Hugh Jackman


Bad taste in men, terrific taste in clothes.


Actually, she was a bit of a let down. The dress was too simple and the hair looked like something I do when I'm in a hurry to go out, but don't want to look too ratty. And the tats...


...ruin even the most delicate of complexions and dress fabric.


Flawless. Impeccable. My favourite ensemble of the night.


I'm not exactly too up on Miss Seyfried's contributions to the silver screen, but I must say that despite knowing the fashionista critics will not like her dress, I adore it. And my, but doesn't she look like Bette Davis facially though?


Does he even try? Newfangled "tux". Didn't go to the barbershop for a haircut. Needs teeth whiteners. Catastrophic. How anyone can find him handsome, is beyond me.



She somehow achieves a great look, despite wearing that particular shade of pink that very small women should stay away from. It is her natural beauty which allows it to succeed.


She's young, and she tried her best to look good (she does) but she needs to learn about good posture. Hannah Montana looks like she's on the holler with two babies on her hips.


You might think, "Oh no, Vic is going to skewer Rourke for looking like a schlepp" but I'm actually not. He doesn't look like he rolled out of bed at all. He's just unconventional. I liked it.


From the side, gorgeous. From the front, the dress looks too shiny and unfortunately makes her look twice her size. Considering she was so nervous in her (touching) presentation, I'll give her a break by saying excellent effort.


Wonderful. Sleek hair and a flattering floor-length dress which shows you that big-boned gals can look good if they know what flatters them.


You wish you looked so good at 75.


She achieves what she is expected to by her legion of fans. Tastefully sophisticated. I'm just not sure she looks happy.

(She also is beginning to resemble Bette Midler!)


Proving for the millionth time that any man, no matter what kind of a schlubb he is, is improved significantly by such classic attire. I even like Seth's glasses.


Will you tell Daryl Hannah her flippers are missing, or will I?


Give the guy a break. He walked in between the Twin Towers. Mindboggling.


Penelope, it's not your quinces party. This is the Oscars. Come on now.


Such old world glamour she has. And it's when she puts her hair up that you realise just how much she DOESN'T look like Sarah Palin.


I'm not sure if it's the haircut, but Tilda looks like my great-uncle Ballard in that frock.


My third favourite look of the night, after Kate and Amy. Simplicity is best when you have such a naturally radiant face.


How India must be proud. A credit to dignity everywhere.

ADDED: Close-up of those strange pins Mickey Rourke was wearing with his suit. I was half wanting to inquire if those were MIA pins or what-have-you.

But no. They're lockets containing a photo of his late chihuahua, Loki. Did I tell you that Mickey Rourke is practically my neighbour in South Beach?

The irrepressible walker-of-wires, Philippe Petit, accomplishes something no one is said to have done before. Balancing the Oscar statuette on his chin.


Labels: , , ,


  • Notch lapel tux -- abominable.

    By Blogger JSU, at Mon Feb 23, 03:30:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ah well. It can't be 1950 forever.
    Why not? I get paid like it's 1950.

    Good call on Seyford/Bette Davis connection! If stupid Vanity Fair had seen that, what an All About Eve photo we might have had for this year's Hollywood issue.

    If they still want a Joker for the next Batman movie...Anne Hathaway's it! (look at that smile!)

    Amy Adams/ Anna Faris buddy comedy! We need it!

    Tina Fey=Irene Dunne?

    Tilda Swinton could play Paltrow in a film where Paltrow could also play Swinton. (My fav pairing idea is that John Waters could play Steve Buscemi and vice versa! "Mr. Pink Flamingos Dogs!")

    By Blogger Ron, at Mon Feb 23, 03:36:00 pm GMT-5  

  • LOL! JSU you are back. :)

    ...I rather like the notch-lapels. Humph!


    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Feb 23, 03:38:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Tina Fey=Irene Dunne?

    Oh God no. With her angular, spinsterish features, Roz Russell. :)

    Oh yes, Steve Buscemi and John Waters. How come I never put those two together...


    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Feb 23, 03:39:00 pm GMT-5  

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    By Blogger ElcubanitoKC, at Mon Feb 23, 04:00:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Have you seen Swinton's 1992 Orlando?

    According to its premise, she could be dear old departed Ballard. I would ask her for any legacy he might have left...

    By Blogger ElcubanitoKC, at Mon Feb 23, 04:01:00 pm GMT-5  

  • some of the tattoos to be seen on the various body parts

    Only if you're a Maori or Yakuza, otherwise they get my patented look of disapproval. Do they not realize they're going to be wrinkly some day?

    They're lockets containing a photo of his late chihuahua, Loki.

    [More disapproval] A chihuahua is not a dog for a straight man. I know Rourke could beat me to bloody mess, but at least I can say I never had a chihuahua.

    By Anonymous Starless, at Mon Feb 23, 04:55:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Jolie's tat on her left shoulder looks like something she received in a third-world prison. Not attractive at all. I'm one of the few guys who thinks she is tremendously overrated in the looks department.

    Kate Winslet, as usual, is stunning.

    Tilda Swinton...ugh.

    By Blogger the wolf, at Mon Feb 23, 07:00:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Well, I agree with most of your captions - some hilarious & most just spot on! I will say that I would have had Viola Davis' dress in my top 3 instead of Seyfried - I'm just not that into bows... heck, what am I saying?! I don't even like wearing a dress! However, that's never stopped me from having an opinion!

    By Blogger Laurie, at Mon Feb 23, 09:26:00 pm GMT-5  

  • And, Vic, I'm proud of you. You didn't take the obvious bait.

    And in fact I can agree with you that nothing Sean Penn said is worth commenting on.

    Of course here in Arizona we had a similar proposition to prop 8 (here it was 102) and it also passed here (though certainly not with my vote), but the way to change things in America is by making the case that they should change, rather than preaching to people about how evil they are for casting their vote as they did.

    By Blogger Eli Blake, at Mon Feb 23, 10:20:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Me? ;)

    I tried to watch the Oscars, but even two minutes of the self-congratulation was too much.

    Would have been fun to participate in these threads, though.

    By Blogger JSU, at Tue Feb 24, 12:48:00 am GMT-5  

  • rather than preaching to people about how evil they are for casting their vote as they did

    Indeed. And that doing so at the Oscars is a good way to spectacularly and publicly display your ignorance. Then again, if you can judge Penn's persona from his public behavior, he's not concerned about the "issue", he's just looking for someone to fight with about something.

    By Anonymous Starless, at Tue Feb 24, 07:35:00 am GMT-5  

  • Great stuff Vic, but we're gonna have to agree to disagree on James Franco. I would do anything to cozy up to that hot man. I loved him since he played James Dean.

    By Blogger Zachary Paul Sire, at Tue Feb 24, 04:45:00 pm GMT-5  

  • At the very least, Tilda Swinton has to look better here than last year when she was translucent.

    Thanks for this...I just didn't feel like watching the Oscars this year...I didn't see any of the nominated films for the first time in years and the kids woke me up seriously early Sunday morning.

    SO I'm glad for this nice recap of the fashion since I didn't see anyone :)

    Kate Winslet is gorgeous..was Jennifer Garner there? I think she's pregnant again but she is always impeccable in her gown and lovely lovely lovely.

    By Blogger ron st.amant, at Tue Feb 24, 06:27:00 pm GMT-5  

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