.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Friday, October 14, 2005

Harold and Maudie

When I heard that Harold Pinter had been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature yesterday, I groaned.

I've been name-dropping a little too much on my blog of late, and I instantly saw that I wouldn't be able to mention my having met Lady Antonia Fraser, Pinter's wife, a few times in London, and once in South Florida during a bookfair.

So I won't.

Instead I'll let my cousin Maudie name-drop for me. You remember Maudie. I've mentioned her once before.

She rang me up today, first thing in the morning with startling news.

"Helloooo?? It's 5 AM in the morning, for heaven's sakes. Who can this be!"

"When you say AM you don't need to mention 'in the morning'. It's implied. Hello, Vee."

"Maudie?"

"No, Aunt Ada, of course Maudie."

"Are you alright? If it's bad news allow me to put the kettle on first."

"Right, I'll wait. I was married yesterday."


(pregnant pause, punctured by a screech, mine)

"Blimey!"

(pregnant pause, hers)

"This is so sudden! Erm. Congratulations!"

"Thank you."

"Who, what, where?"

"His name is Xan. He popped the question a month ago, and we were married in Scotland yesterday, with Alistair and that woman he's married to as witnesses."

"Good grief...wait, did you say his name is Zan?"

"X-A-N, yes."

"Short for Xanadu, I take it."

"Don't be clever. It doesn't suit you."

"Sorry. Tell me about him, then."

"He's 24. And an Old Etonian. Was in the same House as you know who."

"Blimey."

"Again with the blimey. Mary Poppins auditions are over, you know."

"I think you've told me about him in the past, actually."

"Yes."

"I didn't think it was definite though."

"It is now."


Our conversation took a ribald turn after that, in the manner of cousins talking.

I asked her all about her honeymoon, and what she did, and how many times, and all that good stuff.

But since I'm as discreet as the grave (true!), I won't reveal what was said. Just this bit:

"Ah I see. Well, personal lubricants have been much on my mind."

"I don't think that's where they're supposed to go, Victoria."

"I'm just thinking of your health, dear."

"Well don't. Anyway, I do use personal lubricants."

"Ah yes?"

"Yes. Jack Daniels."


Good ole Maudie.

And no, she's not pregnant, I asked. That would have given me pause. And possibly hives.

We rang off, after I wished her well, and then got back into bed...thinking that now I'm the second-to-last girl cousin who is as yet unmarried in the family.

Thanks, Maudie. Noooo pressure at all now. Just lots of Jack Daniels.

3 Comments:

  • You shouldn't have mentioned Pinter, no conservative likes him, once we find out why.
    As for Maudie, how rude to wake you with news of something that likely will cause her grief for quite some time. If it is pressure, remember it's to get in this toxic brew with her; some cousin.
    And how many times, what?

    By Blogger Paul, at Fri Oct 14, 07:04:00 pm GMT-4  

  • You shouldn't have mentioned Pinter, no conservative likes him, once we find out why.

    Mentioned him to Maudie, you mean?

    She's a happy Socialist. :)

    As for Maudie, how rude to wake you with news of something that likely will cause her grief for quite some time.

    Why are you down on marriage, Paul?? Marriage is great!

    If it is pressure, remember it's to get in this toxic brew with her; some cousin.

    Hmm. You speak in riddles tonight, Paul. :)

    And how many times, what?

    Yes.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Oct 14, 07:40:00 pm GMT-4  

  • Mentioned him to Maudie, you mean?

    She's a happy Socialist. :)


    No, mentioning him at all.
    She would like him a lot, I suppose.

    Why are you down on marriage, Paul?? Marriage is great!

    Spock would say that's illogical.

    Yes.

    You are too funny!

    By Blogger Paul, at Fri Oct 14, 09:17:00 pm GMT-4  

Post a Comment

Who linked Here:

Create a Link

<< Home


 




Advertise on blogs
British Expat Blog Directory.