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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Friday, February 24, 2006

Greasy

Now, I'm not one to kick a woman when she's down, and goodness knows her hard-luck story of her ailing mum touched a chord in all our hearts, but I cannot help myself:

Irina Slutskaya is the most ungainly, most inelegant, most manly female figure skater I've ever seen.

I'm not sure what is worse -- her duck waddle, her arms akimbo posture...



...or that unfortunate hairdo, which makes her already mannish face look like a '57 Buick.

But as if that all weren't enough, last night I spied her backstage, wearing this black vinyl jacket which surely went out with poodle skirts, and sock-hops.



That's when it struck me.

Irina Slutskaya looks like Stockard Channing-Rizzo in Grease!

Lookit:



I don't know about you, but I think Stockard Channing is quite possibly the Gena Rowlands of her generation -- the consummate actress, with endless range, and tremendous screen and stage presence.

But that doesn't take away from the fact that Rizzo was lesbian chic, before lesbian chic was cool.

And you're not the one that I want, Irina.

6 Comments:

  • I could tell by the warm up that she was going to struggle. Did she even attempt a practice jump?

    But as if that all weren't enough, last night I spied her backstage, wearing this black vinyl jacket which surely went out with poodle skirts, and sock-hops.

    Dick Button eat your heart out! :)

    And in the other corner we have Sasha Cohen. Anyone else think that should be a required element in figure skating competitions? In case you're wondering, she is over 18.;)

    By Blogger Renato, at Fri Feb 24, 11:52:00 am GMT-5  

  • I'm glad she didn't have to go through American high school with that last name.
    I remember thinking in 2002 that she should have won, now, I don't remember why.

    Renato, that is a great picture and a great idea. I probably wouldn't think Slutskaya could do well in that element.

    By Blogger Paul, at Fri Feb 24, 07:23:00 pm GMT-5  

  • You must admit:
    There are worse things she could do than fall on a jump
    or two.

    Even though the Sundry-hood thinks she's mannish and no good.

    I suppose it could be true.

    But there are worse things she could do.

    By Blogger Ruth Anne Adams, at Fri Feb 24, 10:32:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I could tell by the warm up that she was going to struggle. Did she even attempt a practice jump?

    Yeah -- I remember thinking, whoa, she actually landed one.

    But I still think she looked very tentative, and it certainly showed in the beginning.

    Mind you, fair play to the girl for at least sticking to her programme, to merit a silver.

    Dick Button eat your heart out! :)

    Dick Button was too busy criticising Michi Ando's shoelaces...........

    And in the other corner we have Sasha Cohen. Anyone else think that should be a required element in figure skating competitions? In case you're wondering, she is over 18.;)

    Ewww!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Feb 26, 03:36:00 am GMT-5  

  • I'm glad she didn't have to go through American high school with that last name.

    Dude. She would've made Homecoming Queen.

    I remember thinking in 2002 that she should have won, now, I don't remember why.

    I didn't really pay attention back then. I like her hard-luck story now, though. Sadly.

    Renato, that is a great picture and a great idea. I probably wouldn't think Slutskaya could do well in that element.

    Wait, what? Freaks!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Feb 26, 03:37:00 am GMT-5  

  • You must admit:
    There are worse things she could do than fall on a jump
    or two.


    She only fell once, but the moment she did, you'll notice she knew she lost the Gold.

    What a devastating moment that must be to a person.

    You got no one to blame, but you.

    Even though the Sundry-hood thinks she's mannish and no good.

    I suppose it could be true.


    Well, hang on there, Mrs. Adams!

    She's mannish-LOOKING.

    I get nil gaydar readings, and in fact, she gives off a virgin-vibe.

    Kinda rough, considering she's 27.....

    But there are worse things she could do.

    Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    Sheesh, you try to be catty, and what do you get in return?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Feb 26, 03:40:00 am GMT-5  

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