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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Saturday, March 31, 2007

The Male Clicker




So you can finally win the Battle of the Remote Control, lads!

P.S.: Erm, "Less Boobs" button?? That must've been the Queer Eye design input.

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13 Comments:

  • "Less Boobs" is for when you want her to work on the car, like changing an oil filter! She's gotta fit under there somehow! I'll take one of these for Christmas, please, though I fear it would work like the one Adam Sandler had in "Click" and madcap adventures would ensue...

    OT, a line of mine in an Althouse comment made Instapundit today...

    By Blogger Ron, at Sat Mar 31, 12:00:00 am GMT-4  

  • "Less Boobs" is for when you want her to work on the car, like changing an oil filter! She's gotta fit under there somehow!

    What the hell? Why is your woman working as a mechanic??

    She's supposed to be on the wall, not under the car!

    I'll take one of these for Christmas, please, though I fear it would work like the one Adam Sandler had in "Click" and madcap adventures would ensue...

    Oh God, Renato and I watched that earlier this week. You know, it was bad -- but not as bad as the reviews had it.

    Sandler can actually carry a film, and I love Beckinsale...

    OT, a line of mine in an Althouse comment made Instapundit today...

    Found it! At first I thought it was "Fight the Power", about American Idol.

    But that didn't sound sufficiently acute and Ronlike.

    "PRISSY AND PURITANICAL." Best line in the comments: "If they were only drunks, at least a few of them would become more pleasant."

    "Best line" NICE! Congrats! :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Mar 31, 12:59:00 am GMT-4  

  • Forgot to mention:

    This is a British remote. That's why it says (actually mispells):

    Stop Winging

    (To whinge: Moan, complain about, and generally get down in the mouth about something -- a big nono in our culture)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Mar 31, 01:03:00 am GMT-4  

  • Aren't "Sleep" and "Off" redundant? Unless "Off" kills her, it is the same as sleeping.

    Therefore, "Sleep" can be replaced with... "Shake it".

    By Blogger Alcibiades, at Sat Mar 31, 01:38:00 am GMT-4  

  • "Less Boobs" is for when you want her to work on the car, like changing an oil filter! She's gotta fit under there somehow!

    What the hell? Why is your woman working as a mechanic??

    She's supposed to be on the wall, not under the car!
    OMG, it's the Detroiter in me that demands I (or spouse!) work on the car ourselves as much as possible! Besides what could be better than a lube job after...a lube job? If she could rebuild a transmission, half of the men in the greater Detroit area would marry her on the spot!

    By Blogger Ron, at Sat Mar 31, 01:42:00 am GMT-4  

  • Aren't "Sleep" and "Off" redundant? Unless "Off" kills her, it is the same as sleeping.

    I think Off DOES kill her...she has to be kept in perpetual motion, else why would there be a beer/sex/food button at the tippy top?

    Therefore, "Sleep" can be replaced with... "Shake it".

    *shakes it*

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Mar 31, 03:24:00 am GMT-4  

  • If she could rebuild a transmission, half of the men in the greater Detroit area would marry her on the spot!

    Well, that's me out of contention. The field is wide open for Britney...

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Mar 31, 03:25:00 am GMT-4  

  • It would be interesting to see a female version of this clicker.

    You know, as much as the male needs are juvenile, and perhaps even a little simple, if you compare to what our buttons would look like, they would seem a virtual playhouse of innocence.

    Let's see...

    Protection
    Money
    Credit Cards (HUGE button)
    Cheque Book
    Savings Account
    Bonds and T-bills
    Big Fancy Car
    Ginormous House
    Kidbatter
    "Tell me I'm Beautiful"
    "Agree with me right now"
    "Tell me I'm not fat...again"
    "Stop looking at her"
    "No Divorce"
    "Endless Passionate and Romantic Love"

    ...yep, just as I thought. An enormous clicker the kind only produced by Scientic Atlanta.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Mar 31, 03:30:00 am GMT-4  

  • "Kidbatter"...? What a disgus--er... lovely thought.

    In the American lexicon, "Turkey baster" would be preferred over "kidbatter".

    By Blogger Alcibiades, at Sun Apr 01, 02:39:00 am GMT-4  

  • In the American lexicon, "Turkey baster" would be preferred over "kidbatter".

    Kidbatter is not a Britishism, but rather of my own making, for the record. ;)

    Turkey baster, ooh, nasty. Reminds one of desperate couples trying to conceive, back when.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Apr 01, 02:11:00 pm GMT-4  

  • I'd use the less boobs button. I don't like big tits, TBH. More than a handful's wasted, IMHO.
    The rest of the buttons look fine, although there's a Stop Whinging and a Stop Nagging button. Isn't Whinging the same as Nagging?

    By Blogger Kullrad, at Tue Apr 03, 05:01:00 am GMT-4  

  • Kullrad: More than a mouthful is a waste! And I agree! LOL

    By Blogger benning, at Wed Apr 04, 12:12:00 pm GMT-4  

  • By the way, Vicks, I'm reading a biography of David Niven, "Niv", which is written by a Brit. He uses 'whinging' a few times and I wonder if it's pronounced like whining?

    By Blogger benning, at Wed Apr 04, 12:14:00 pm GMT-4  

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