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...a sweatshop of moxie

Monday, September 25, 2006

The Ultimate Two-Faced, Scoundrel, Thief, Liar, Killer Dictator Reading List

Have you ever perused books on Amazon, and clicked on someone's suggested reading list, alongside the page?

I love doing that, for the simple reason that as a Brit, and now as an American, I love lists. Lists are our shared cultural heritage, which strikes other cultures as ineffably strange, and even a little twee.

Me, I love culling lists, love numbering them, love arguing about them.

Ever since I read David Wallechinsky's "Book of Lists", that compendium of list-goodness, there's never been a list I have been able to pass by without peaking.

So when I saw this photograph of Hugo Chavez at the United Nations last week, I knew there was one list that was missing.

The Ultimate Two-Faced Scoundrel Thief Liar Killer Dictator Reading List


Hegemony or Survival: America's Quest for Global Dominance (The American Empire Project) by Noam Chomsky


Hitler's War and The War Path by David Irving


People's History of the United States: 1492 to Present by Howard Zinn


Days of War, Nights of Love : Crimethink For Beginners by Crimethinc


Bomb the Suburbs
by William Upski Wimsatt


Death Blossoms: Reflections from a Prisoner of Conscience by Mumia Abu-Jamal


How to Rule the World: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator
by André de Guillaume


Let's Go To Cuba by Unknown Communist Party Apparatchik Who Has Since Left on a Raft (foreward by Pedro Almodovar)

(Castro would also like to suggest "Three Guys from Miami Cook Cuban" but he can't do so publicly, coño esta Mafia de Miami)

You'll notice that our modern-day selection of dictators, even the New Kids on the Block, in Thailand, is by force, necessarily slim pickings these days.

That's because dictators, coup merchants, blood-thirsty generalissimos have been at a discount since the 1980s.

Almost every continent on our planet, has seen one old murdering mook of theirs, overthrown, discredited, strung-up, muzzled, or in the case of China, reformed.

Take a look at the List of Dictators (more lists, yippee!) and see for yourself.

Finally, if perchance you disagree that a certain man above belongs to the category I mention, and furthermore, you are the kind of person who is screaming as I type,

"Where is George W. Bush???!"

All I have to say is:

A) Dude, he doesn't read.
B) He deposes dictators not installs them.
C) In 2 years, he'll be gone.

Good luck, Venezuela, trying to get rid of your own hyper-macho, venom-spitting clown.


  • I was commenting with some people, that the US is a country so free, that even a semi-enemy can come here and bad-mouth the president, and I'm not talking about the UN speech, but later he repeated his banter in Harlem. I can't imagine what would happen if Bush (or anybody else for that matter)would go to Caracas and speak evil of Chavez. Good luck to Venezuela. It's going to need it.

    By Blogger dotJorge, at Mon Sep 25, 04:34:00 pm GMT-4  

  • even the New Kids on the Block, in Thailand

    Speaking in defense of my colleagues in Thailand, you'll note that they have studied their Sun Tzu, and managed to engineer a bloodless coup?

    By Blogger I R A Darth Aggie, at Mon Sep 25, 06:49:00 pm GMT-4  

  • Actually, having spent a good deal of time in Thailand, back when I was in the Navy, I don't think there is much to worry about. The military won't stay in command.

    In fact I'd be willing to wager that the King told the head of the military to get rid of the current PM due to the corruption in his government.

    Even if he isn't actually running the nation on a daily basis, the King of Thailand wields the actual power there. And it is power based on the respect and love of the people, not fear of reprisals.

    By Anonymous Mr Whipple1, at Tue Sep 26, 07:58:00 am GMT-4  

  • Dudette! GW does read. The press wants us to think he doesn't.

    By Blogger benning, at Wed Sep 27, 04:34:00 am GMT-4  

  • Hugo chaves isn't a dictator, he was voted in, and he's suvived at least 4 plots (and at least 2 of them funded by the US) to get rid of him, because the people got up and defended him.

    By Anonymous SH, at Fri Oct 13, 08:07:00 am GMT-4  

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