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...a sweatshop of moxie

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Breast Man

I could have commented on the recent, enormous controversy we had locally here in Miami-Dade county yesterday, when the Board of Education authorised the book "A Visit To Cuba" to be read in the public schools, but I thought, eh.

Sundries readers don't want to be treated to yet another round of Victoria whinging about Castro, and how the liberal educational establishment constantly pander to the lies of Castro's Cuba -- complete with photos of jolly kids in Communist Pionero kerchiefs.

You know what the outcry would be if your local school board had allowed a book called "Let's Visit Hitler's Germany" or "A Fun Day in Soweto", with happy pictures of Hitlerjugend kiddies frolicking around with their newly socialised health care system physiques.

The New York Times and the Miami Horrible would've had a collective fit. But a grade school book portraying the benefits of visiting El Comandante's Cuba, oh that's okay.

Pfff. Hypocrites. Whatever. You know where I stand.

So, instead let me bring you this giggle-inducing story. You CANNOT believe it's true -- but it is.

Imagine you are a woman in a condo, and some elderly guy rings the doorbell. He tells you he's a medical doctor, conducting free breast exams in the neighbourhood, and would you like one?

Let's pretend you are temporarily insane, and say yes.

He proceeds to "examine" your breastesses, and then reaches under your skirts to "examine" your genitals.

This is when it hits you -- hey, maybe he's not a doctor.

Well fact is stranger than friction, my friends.

It happened in Coconut Creek (heh), Florida when a 77-year-old guy named William Winikoff did just that, to not one, but two, and possibly more women Wednesday.

Reports that he doubles as Glenn Quagmire in Family Guy, are as yet, uncorroborated.

Jesus Joseph and Mary...now I know why those Nigerian scammers are so successful.

And yet another reason why men and women are simply "wired" differently.

What are the chances, ya think, that a 77-year old woman would conceive of roaming around apartment buildings, ringing doorbells, asking men if they want a penis exam?

Actually, skip that. I don't want to know.


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