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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Crackhead Parents

What other reason could there be to name your newborn dumpling baby child:

Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K





I bet you that mother had to take a dose or two of "Special K" after pushing out little Kendall (I'm guessing, nay hoping, this is what she'll go by) -- who weighed in at 8 lbs 8 oz. Ay Caramba!

-- I was merely 7 lb 1 oz comparatively, but my mother still calls the experience "TORTURE, simply torture", although she was knocked out when she gave birth to moi --

In the birth announcement, which is very cute by the way, the cracked out parents do provide their recipients with some handy information, like the local weather, and what famous people were doing on the day of her birth.

This part, I just loved:

The economy

* The minimum wage in Kansas was $5.15.
* The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 7749.87.
* A loaf of bread was $1.49.
* A gallon of Milk cost $2.89.
* A first class stamp was $0.37.
* The average new home cost $132,500.00.
* And the price of a new car was $21,750.00.


Yeah!

And don't forget, it was a Republican president that allowed little Urhines Kendall Pinecrest Coral Gables Overtown Special K Slurpee Slushy 7/11 La Vaquita Lexus a chance to get on in this world, where a stamp cost a mere .37 cents.

She's got it made.

Labels:

10 Comments:

  • That is one crazy name! Reminds me of all the crazy names that have been used in Cuba the last 30 years or so. No more Pedro, Maria or Roberto; it's now Yudisleysis, Yulieski and Ubisney!!!

    This seems to be such a problem that there is even an organization hoping to stop the spread of these names. The Institute For Naming Children Humanely

    By Blogger Jose Aguirre, at Sat Mar 10, 09:52:00 am GMT-5  

  • Vic. You of all people. *duck*

    By Blogger madcynic, at Sat Mar 10, 06:24:00 pm GMT-5  

  • By now that little girl is probably referred to as "Yo, yo, yo c'meah!"

    By Blogger benning, at Sat Mar 10, 06:47:00 pm GMT-5  

  • That is one crazy name! Reminds me of all the crazy names that have been used in Cuba the last 30 years or so. No more Pedro, Maria or Roberto; it's now Yudisleysis, Yulieski and Ubisney!!!

    UGH, I hate those names.

    But what's the deal with Belkis?

    Obviously local Fox anchor, Belkis Nerey is from here, and wasn't born there (right?)...but she has that self-same name they use there! With that dumb as nails suffix -- '-is'.

    This seems to be such a problem that there is even an organization hoping to stop the spread of these names. The Institute For Naming Children Humanely

    Well, maybe it's not too late, although it is for all those Vladimirs, Lenins, not to mention the PROFUSION of Misleydis (My ladies??).

    A friend who keeps in touch with his Cuban family every week, says there is a new trend now.

    The old royal names are making a HUGE comeback.

    The time of the Olgas, the Barbaras, the Lazaros might be over, but here come the Sofias, the Carolinas, and the Julians!

    Hurrah!

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Mar 11, 01:57:00 am GMT-5  

  • Vic. You of all people. *duck*

    LOL! I know, right.

    If my other Sundries friends knew my real true, and full name (which Malte has an inkling about), they would laugh at my ironical post, too. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Mar 11, 01:58:00 am GMT-5  

  • By now that little girl is probably referred to as "Yo, yo, yo c'meah!"

    Hehe. You know, I have a thing about names -- so I am always asking people about this or that naming custom in their country.

    Well, like that Cuban friend, I have a black friend who tells me the days of the Shamequas are over.

    The latest hot name for a black girl is...Madison!

    Weird, but I love it.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Mar 11, 03:00:00 am GMT-4  

  • "Special K" may refer to the cereal. Drug or food, take your pick.

    I think there are two problems with current parents and naming:

    1.) People don't know the meanings of names, thus anything can be a name. Many people in the U.S. have names that do not originate in the English language, so the source/meaning of a name is unknown and it might as well mean "dog food".

    For instance, "Moira" is just another form of "Mary". And "Rory" means "Red King". But I doubt few people, on the spot, would know this. As a result, any string of syllables may sound like a good name to prospective parents.

    2.) People don't think of how to spell a name until the last minute. They hear a name and like it, but don't buy a book of baby names to check it out. The end result is phonetic spelling of French, Arabic, Polynesian, and god only knows what else.

    By Blogger Alcibiades, at Sun Mar 11, 06:49:00 am GMT-4  

  • Alcibiades: My folks differed on what to name me. They didn't look up the meaning, but they finally decided that "Kevin" wouldn't fit (Mom loathed the name; I think Dad was going for the whole "Irish" thing.) and picked "Jeffrey". I did my own research to discover that it means "God's Peace" or "Peace of God". I can be proud of that, but it describes me ... not ... one ... whit!

    Heheheee!

    I'm named for nobody in the family. My brother Timothy's middle name is for my grandmother's 3rd husband, who was a sweet, gentle man. My sister Kathy (kinda Irish, right?) was named, in part, for my dad's mother, Katherine (Kate, to family), and her middle name simply sounded good to the folks. But mom insisted to everybody that the name was not "Katherine" or "Kathleen"! It was Kathy!

    Mom's always been a bit of a pill! :D

    By Blogger benning, at Sun Mar 11, 10:16:00 am GMT-4  

  • "Special K" may refer to the cereal. Drug or food, take your pick.

    Surely! I did think of that, although I cannot imagine any parent, having decided to name their kid after a breakfast cereal, plumping for Special K and not Count Chocula.

    Countess Chocula. Or Fruit Loops!

    I think there are two problems with current parents and naming:

    1.) People don't know the meanings of names, thus anything can be a name. Many people in the U.S. have names that do not originate in the English language, so the source/meaning of a name is unknown and it might as well mean "dog food".


    Right, but that would make better sense in the Japanese "foreign word love" which of course is infamous.

    But Americans themselves...?

    For instance, "Moira" is just another form of "Mary". And "Rory" means "Red King". But I doubt few people, on the spot, would know this. As a result, any string of syllables may sound like a good name to prospective parents.

    This reminds me of Edgard, Edigar, and Edgardo -- three baseball players from Venezuela, all named after variants of Edgar, which was their dad's name...

    2.) People don't think of how to spell a name until the last minute. They hear a name and like it, but don't buy a book of baby names to check it out. The end result is phonetic spelling of French, Arabic, Polynesian, and god only knows what else.

    Once someone asked an NFL player why his name was spelt Micheal, not Michael, which is correct, of course.

    He told one reporter, because that's what my parents liked, but to an ESPN reporter he broke down and said that his parents are from "the islands and, you know", inferring they weren't too literate.

    I also think Americans ESPECIALLY like to mess around with the name spellings, which is simply impossible or very rarely possible in other countries, because of the stigma of illiteracy.

    In Spanish, sure there are Yosvelkis and names of that nature, but if you spell "Miguel" as "Mighel" or something, they'll tag you as an "analfabeto".

    Bad, real bad that is.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Mar 12, 01:47:00 am GMT-4  

  • It was Kathy!

    Mom's always been a bit of a pill! :D


    That's as maybe, but Jeffrey and Kathy are GREAT names. :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Mon Mar 12, 01:47:00 am GMT-4  

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