.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Thursday, December 18, 2008

President Huggy Bear



Words fail.

...you know what? Actually, they don't.

When I first saw this photo of a college-aged Barack Obama, I was struck by the cool hepcattiness of the thing. His gesture of smoking a 'rette, so evocative of Bogie and war-era machomen cupping theirs, seemed almost to eclipse the intent -- that of a still youngish lad pretending he's smoking him a blunt.

The second instantaneous reaction I had was: whoa, but doesn't Obama resemble Bill Clinton! Right?



It's not just the arrogant mofo squint either.

Let's face it, most of us look alike when we narrow our eyes and stare sidelong in a semi-challenging gesture. No-no. The resemblence is in the peasanty potato nose and flat Kalmuk cheeks.

But I had yet another flashback, this one slightly more amusing.

For it was once upon a time that, with a dwindling amount of museums to choose from in Amsterdam, I ended up in the very famous Sex Museum. Now, for all I know, today this museum could have been spruced up beyond recognition, but back then, it was a dump. DUMP!

I know, I know, what do you expect from an historical emporium called 'Sex Museum', but still. I was in my gap year, in fact, not much older than Obama above, and willing to explore anything even remotely whackadoodle.

So then you entered the Sex Museum and were shown a few mouldy rooms of excavated Roman penii and faded vintage porn, including some purporting to be of a gay gangbang circa 1913 of Rudolph Valentino (please, it looked nothing like him). Another room showed off its sinister 'marital aid' collection, including one particularly fascinating device which looked like a combination numbchuck/chastity belt/Hagar the Horrible battleaxe.

Tried as I might, I just couldn't see myself using that, even in 1887.

It was as you left, in a room which would be the death of any asthmatic porn viewer (the dust was an inch thick, I swear), that Obama above comes to mind.

The last room contained glass vignettes of faceless statues showing sex throughout the ages. Just like the old Miami Wax Museum, which breathed its last in the early 1980s and whose last updated wax tableaux was Richard Nixon greeting the three Apollo 11 astronauts in their capsule -- remember? -- , these kinds of museums are rarely du jour, and the last "scene" if you will, was that of a pimp and his pro in the Red Light District around 1971.

The pimp was dressed in a "sky" (as I have been reliably informed was the slang word for hat, back then), a white cape, and flare-bottomed Fat Elvis red trousers, apparently collecting his dough from the hooker.

I didn't notice what she was wearing, except that she was slim and looked like Heidi the milkmaid -- which, if you've ever been to the Red Light district in smelly old Amsterdam, you'll know is a total joke.

Amsterdam hos are about 250 lbs., invariably from Suriname or some godforsaken ex-Dutch outpost, and are the ugliest creatures I've ever seen enlisted into the world's oldest profession. Incidentally, at the Centraal Station, the ladies' loo near the platform had an ink-written suggestion which said, "If you want a really good tongue job, ask for Dewi at Madame Suzi's". I passed.

ANYWAY, whew, I have really digressed here. Where wuz I? Oh yes, Obama.

The point is the waxy pimp had a mien incredibly like that of Obama above. You know, "Where my money at, ho!", and so on.

Also, he looks like Huggy Bear, whose son I once owned in Yahoo's Fantasy NFL. Small world.

In closing, I would just like to mention that we none of us are without our extremely embarrassing snaps taken in off-guard moments.

So what if Obama is seen above mimicking being in an Amsterdam brownstone café, having just purchased some Afghan Red? Why, somewhere out there, there's a photo of your humble blogger seated on 15-foot plaster "penis", conveniently available just as you exit the Sex Museum.

We all have pasts, my friends.

P.S.: Oh My God! They have a website now! NSFW, or anywhere else.

Labels: , ,

37 Comments:

  • You continue to amaze me. You need to get your own syndicated column.

    As a man, I fear you're either ugly or high maintenance. The alternative is simply too good to be true; a cosmic improbability.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Dec 18, 06:07:00 am GMT-5  

  • OMG, I saw that photo days ago on Drudge but wasn't reminded until now that just such photo exists of me (sans hat) flouting certain controlled substance laws some 20 years ago. If confronted, I'd have to argue that I had rolled some Zware shag.

    I second the first part of anon above. Wouldn't want swell your head though. :)

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 10:56:00 am GMT-5  

  • somewhere out there, there's a photo of your humble blogger seated on 15-foot plaster "penis", conveniently available just as you exit the Sex Museum.

    If anyone asks, just tell them you were sitting athwart history yelling "Stop!"

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 11:39:00 am GMT-5  

  • You continue to amaze me. You need to get your own syndicated column.

    Thanks, Anon. It would ruin me as a writer. I write well better than many under enormous pressure, but I get bored fast.

    Besides, I like Sundries, I love you guys, and that's why I care about the calibre of commenters who come here. Other bloggers' mantra is "traffic is traffic".

    As a man, I fear you're either ugly or high maintenance. The alternative is simply too good to be true; a cosmic improbability.

    I am probably both.

    Incidentally, sometimes I smile when I overhear men talk about women. They speak of them as if they were Adonises themselves. I remember being in Lincoln Rd. overhearing two 30 year-olds talking about "yeah, I'd do her" "nah, she's too fat", and both were amazingly ungainly men. Whatever is hard-wired into us as sexes, I think hinges on availability. Men think they are always eligible.

    For the record, I wouldn't have done them. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 01:17:00 pm GMT-5  

  • P.S.: Not that I am lookist! Or dislike fat men!

    P.P.S.: Why oh why am I so Catholic and always feel guilty about what I just said?

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 01:18:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Chickenlittle, that's where I saw it too, and I hunted around for it. I am now motivated to post about the whole series of photos. :)

    What is very striking is that when young, he looked almost white in certain photos. Even with the 'fros.

    After all, he grew up with his white mother and grandparents, and was surrounded at school with 100% caucasians or Asians. His was an entirely non-black world for 18 years of his life.

    But as he grew older, given his surroundings in Chicago, and his marriage to hyper-black nationalist Michelle Obama (I think it's fair to say she gives off that vibe, don't you think?), it also became a physical transformation to highlight what makes him black.

    I find it fascinating, as perhaps you do too.

    Thanks for the photo tip! :P

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 01:25:00 pm GMT-5  

  • You are way too fun, Victoria.

    I suspect that someday, sometime, I need to head south to visit you.

    Especially with another 12 inches (OF SNOW) predicted tonight.....everyone here...minds outta the gutter...NOW...*lol*

    Where's the movie blog??

    Inquiring minds want to know.

    Peggy :)

    By Blogger Peggy Gero DaValt, at Thu Dec 18, 01:56:00 pm GMT-5  

  • P.S.
    I have a very strong NL connection via my wife's family. They are all from either Utrecht or Overijssel, so my outlook is a bit provincial. I've passed through Amsterdam many times, but never stayed. I’ve never even been to the famous "Red Light” district. But I do know about this (not first hand).

    @Peggy: that's it for the guttural talk from me today.

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 02:46:00 pm GMT-5  

  • OT Post:

    The local weather reports are calling for a big walloping snow storm beginning this evening and continuing through tomorrow midday. Candles have been lighted in silent prayer for a snow day.

    Back in the day, my then-girlfriend, now-wife would eagerly wait for the news that our workplaces were shut down by waist-deep snow, then, as soon as the happy news arrived, slog our way to the nearest Mexican restaurant and drink margaritas all day, then weave back home.

    We are older and wiser now, especially as regards drinking and driving. So my OT questions for you today is this:

    What margarita recipe works best for breakfast on snow days?

    By Blogger Michael_H, at Thu Dec 18, 03:50:00 pm GMT-5  

  • You are way too fun, Victoria.

    I am surrounded by fun people here, Peggy. I have to keep up! ;)

    I suspect that someday, sometime, I need to head south to visit you.

    Florida is not as fun as California, but it's every bit as relaxed. I think you would love it, Miss Peggy!

    Especially with another 12 inches

    GASP.

    (OF SNOW)

    AWWWwww.

    predicted tonight.....everyone here...minds outta the gutter...NOW...*lol*

    Hehe.

    Where's the movie blog??

    Inquiring minds want to know.


    I know, ack ugh, speaking of guilty Catholics. I feel so badly about that.

    It's just that every time I sit down to write it, there's always another movie coming down the pike that I want to included, in fact, to BEGIN the Review with -- so I keep telling myself, let me just watch this one, and then I'll write it.

    It's been that way since Quantum of Solace! Yesterday, I was supposed to have gone to watch Glenn Beck's live performance of "Christmas Sweater" -- simulcast like Met operas are. Never having been to such a presentation, I didn't know what to expect, but I was super excited as I had read the book already.

    But my dad isn't well..., that's another story alas, so I didn't feel good about leaving him as my mother had a previous engagement and couldn't mind him.

    But we'll see, I am shooting for this weekend! I love films, and I'm excited about sharing my reviews. :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 04:02:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Chickenlittle, I did remember about your Nederlands connexion on your wife's part. :)

    ut I do know about this (not first hand).

    EEK! It hadn't occured to me that they were in the canals too. Utrecht is supposed to be a rather strict city at that (that is, culturally they were much more severe, in that buttoned-up Dutch way of self-censorship).

    I have to say that I love touring Holland, with the exception of the North. Even the Dutch consider those people rude, and that's saying something.

    Amsterdam, however, is my idea of hippie hell. It only seems exciting because the next biggest city is Brussels...

    I have stories.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 04:07:00 pm GMT-5  

  • What margarita recipe works best for breakfast on snow days?

    Darling Michael, I wouldn't know! This is a Mimosa household. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 04:17:00 pm GMT-5  

  • P.S.: In all seriousness, Michael, unless you live up "North" (a very foggy concept to most Southerners like me, and by that I mean England, not America), when I was growing up, the concept of 'snow days' didn't trouble my consciousness. Snow doesn't last in the South of England. It becomes slush almost immediately, thus incoveniencing no one.

    I recall our school showed an American film one weekend which featured the character's kids enjoying a "snow day", and the concept just delighted us. It was one of those amazing American things (to us) that made you guys so fascinating.

    Yeah, I'm sure you're in your home, shivering as you read this, and saying, this girl thinks we're fascinating because we're freezing our buns off here.

    Well, I do, so there.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 04:24:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Hey, anyone want to comment on the eerie resemblence between Obama and Bill in those two pics?

    I want to see if others somehow see it, or if it's just in me head. ;)

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 04:26:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Well thank heaven that you remember your vitamin C each morn!

    By Blogger Michael_H, at Thu Dec 18, 04:26:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Yeah, I'm sure you're in your home, shivering as you read this, and saying, this girl thinks we're fascinating because we're freezing our buns off here.

    Uhh...no. A free day, unable to drive anywhere, several NetFlix DVDs to watch, a big fireplace, a wonderfully playful wife, good drink in the cupboard, and, uhhh...

    Yeah, snow days are just aawwwwfffuulllll...

    It should snow more often!

    By Blogger Michael_H, at Thu Dec 18, 04:31:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Back to Huggy Bear. Have you seen this photo of his father?

    By Blogger Michael_H, at Thu Dec 18, 04:35:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Back to Huggy Bear. Have you seen this photo of his father?

    OMG, seriously? Did WC Fields play the San Jose strip??

    After I posted, I looked up Huggy Bear, because though I know the pop culture reference, I thought it was Kojak which made him famous -- nope, Starsky and Hutch. Never watched that, even the film.

    Justin Fargas, however, must have had a snow (day!) white mother, because except for the dreads, he is barely black.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 06:07:00 pm GMT-5  

  • My wife invented a cocktail which I dubbed a Magarita (or Maggie for short)

    2:1:1 = (50% Gin, 25% Triple Sec, 25% fresh lime juice) Shake together over ice the usual way and pour into a frozen cocktail glass.

    Try it! (not recommended on a snow day- brrrr)

    P.S. For a real Margarita, use tequilla, not gin.

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 06:15:00 pm GMT-5  

  • P.S.: Where is Ron?

    I hope not still tied up with Bettie...ewww I guess that would be the ghost of Bettie.

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 06:18:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Pictures like these...
    Man, can you imagine elections 20 years from now and those facebook/myspace galleries coming back to haunt you?

    By Anonymous madcynic, at Thu Dec 18, 06:27:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Hey, anyone want to comment on the eerie resemblence between Obama and Bill in those two pics?

    Compare: notice you see only half the white of each man's right eye. Could that symbolize that each is half white?
    Contrast: notice that Bill is an innie and Obama is an outie.

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 06:54:00 pm GMT-5  

  • chickenlittle, I was off watching my best friend's two kids, while she worked...I get not a farthing, just helping her out, as we are both cash-strapped.

    I missed the whole thread!

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Dec 18, 08:04:00 pm GMT-5  

  • But my dad isn't well..., that's another story alas, so I didn't feel good about leaving him as my mother had a previous engagement and couldn't mind him.

    First things first. That's your most admirable trait.

    as we are both cash-strapped.

    Ron, set up a tipjar-let me buy you a drink!

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 08:14:00 pm GMT-5  

  • That series of BHO photos made me think of the Keep on Truckin' craze of the 70s. Was there nothing good about the 70s?

    By Blogger Ruth Anne Adams, at Thu Dec 18, 08:31:00 pm GMT-5  

  • @Ruth Anne: that's a crumby photo

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 08:44:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Hey Malte! If that is you. :)

    In fact, I have already blogged about the future Facebook/MySpace President.

    Is America Ready for the First Facebook President?

    It was about Palin's flute-playing video feverishly uncovered by the rabid Left, with the intent of somehow throwing slime at her, but instead it fizzled into nothingness.

    It struck then, that this is a generational thing. Short of Obama or Hillary injecting heroin or smoking crack, it won't shock me.

    As I said, we all have embarrassing photos out there. ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 09:19:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Contrast: notice that Bill is an innie and Obama is an outie.

    Come again? And again? ;)

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 09:21:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ron, my darling, what a Mensch you are. :)

    It's been light-blogging, so you haven't missed anything but raunchy mayhem and Saturno-blogging.

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 09:22:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Was there nothing good about the 70s?

    Other than my birth somewhere in there, no...

    Seriously, it was dire. Any era which made kids think that Slinkies were worthy of purchase is one sick decade.

    Incidentally, I hadn't realised until I read chickenlittle's reply, that those were by Robert Crumb.

    I liked the doc about him, but actually, he reminds me that the world has been overly dominated by asocial men whose distorted vision of said world was hailed as magnificent -- instead of creepy and rather sad.

    Yes, I'm talking to you, Vincent Van Gogh.

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 09:29:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Did you guys click on the Sex Museum link yet? I didn't find it yesterday, but here IT is...!

    IT the Thing

    (The Oscar Wilde Room, oh brother)

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Dec 18, 09:36:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I don't 'see' a resemblence. I *do* wish he'd give up smoking though.
    I shudder to think of my countenance, behaviour, and rebellions when I was 20, though I also must admit to remembering few of them.
    By this one time, at band camp...

    By Blogger ron st.amant, at Thu Dec 18, 11:14:00 pm GMT-5  

  • That photo puts new oomph in the idea of 'knob polishing!'

    Chickenlittle, oddly, when I came home after chasing the little devils around, I did have a drink! A martini, made with gin, not my normal vodka! (again, fundless!) And after my first post, I promptly fell asleep! Just now waking up...

    The 70's were the peak for many Latin players of baseball... Otherwise...not too much else...

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Dec 18, 11:16:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Chickenlittle, you reminded I do have a 'tipjar!' Two, even! On the ol' Fluffy Stuffin blog, and I don't think either have ever been used! I just now had to fix the paypal one for using an email addy from a long-dead isp!

    I will look for a spiffier button though...

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Dec 18, 11:44:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Come again? And again? ;)

    I wrote something like that as a comment once on Althouse--and she deleted it!

    Seriously? I just meant where the non-white half (of the eye) was-it's true isn't it?

    Ron- I'll check back later. Yeah Paypal works. If my wife asks what I bought, I'll tell her I got something off Ebay.

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Thu Dec 18, 11:58:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Did you guys click on the Sex Museum link yet?

    Did you notice the "future" section is already anticipating updates to The Story of 'O' ?

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Fri Dec 19, 12:48:00 am GMT-5  

  • "he reminds me that the world has been overly dominated by asocial men whose distorted vision of said world was hailed as magnificent -- instead of creepy and rather sad"

    Wait, you mean my opportunity has passed?

    And before I was even hailed...

    ;)

    By Blogger JSU, at Fri Dec 19, 02:55:00 am GMT-5  

Post a Comment

Who linked Here:

Create a Link

<< Home


 




Advertise on blogs
British Expat Blog Directory.