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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Shhhh

We've all been there.

Watching a movie, when suddenly you realise the couple in front of you, or the kids in back of you, or the group of teenies to the side of you...will be talking throughout the whooooole daaamn film. Worst yet, if you tell them to be quiet, you are instantly the bad guy, and you know, you just don't want to be the bad guy.

It's not wrong to want a relatively quiet movie-going experience.

Yet, frankly, I like overhearing comments throughout the film. It's one of the reasons I delight in actually frequenting cinemahouses. If I wanted to be alone, with no one interrupting the flick, I'd stay at home.

But guess what? I've been the bad guy.

If it's an 8 PM movie, in a sold-out adult environment, and there are people talking at the top of their lungs, I will either shush them from my seat, or actually go up to them and politely ask them to hush now. If it's a matinée at a kiddie flick, I take my lumps.

The one thing I wouldn't do, however, is to take my Saturday Night Special and shoot them in the arm for talkin' over Brad Pitt.

Which is precisely what this mook did. Meet James Joseph Cialella Jr, 29, of Philly. He shot a man in the arm in a crowded Christmas Day showing of "Benjamin Button". IN FRONT OF THE MAN'S FAMILY.



I'll let that sink in for a bit.

Whilst I do, let me say that this is one of those American horror stories that makes every headline in all the foreign newspapers as proof-positive that (a) Americans are nuts (b) Americans are nuts with guns (c) America should immediately ban firearms of any kind, and then tulips and candy apples will rain forth from the sky.

We all know this is an one-in-a-million story, but it's as naught to actually tell foreigners that, because to them every similar incident is just another Columbine or Virginia Tech. Nuance, you see, is for cannibals in Papua New Guinea. Americans should be judged and judged HARD.

Now let's get back to the mook. This is the story. On Christmas DAY, mind you.

Police were called to the Riverview Theatre in the 1400 block of Columbus Boulevard about 9:30 p.m. where the gunshot victim, a Philadelphia man who was not identified, told police a man sitting near him told his family to be quiet and threw popcorn at his son.

After exchanging words, Vanore said Cialella allegedly got out of his seat to confront the family when the father got up to protect them. That's when the victim was shot once in the left arm, sending others in the theatre running to safety.

Cialella then sat down to watch the movie. Police arrived a short time later and arrested Cialella and confiscated his weapon, Vanore said.

This blows my mind.

He sat back down and continued watching the movie 'cause it ain't no thing? I guess he thought once he had taken care of bidness, and shot the guy, he would have peace and quiet all around him, instead of mad screams of a rushing crowd desperate to get out?

On the heels of the Wal-Mart guy tragically trampled by Black Friday crowds (another chance for anti-American sentiment in international newspaper headlines, incidentally), you'd think there would've been more than one person hurt, but thankfully, the man survived the gunshot, and no one else was injured in the fracas.

There used to be a cinemahouse in downtown Miami with a similar reputation. It was inside the Omni mall -- an AMC deep inside its bowels. I went years and years ago, completely oblivious to the fact that there had been more than one woman raped there, and that patrons had complained of rats scurrying and even fleas springing from the floorboards. FLEAS.

Oh my God, how did we live before the internet?

Because today, before I so much as head out to a moviehouse I do not know, I check out the online reviews in three places.

At Cinema Treasures, for the history.
At CinemaTour, for the photos.
At InsiderPages, for the comments.

If you think this is too much bother, you're obviously not scared of being raped or getting shot.

Say one day I got it into my head to go to Philadelphia, and by miracle found myself near the Riverview Theatre. Having my laptop handy, I instantly would've known to make a beeline out of there. Reviews do not lie, my friends. Five reviews, not one positive word to say.

horrendous! 1 Star Rating - Unsatisfactory

While the theater itself is a good size the people that frequent this place are pros at ruining what should be a great experience. I've been there four times on four different days of the week at four different times of day for four different types of movies and it never seems to matter. It's not one or two groups that talk to each other and on their phones through the movie, it's 70% of the people in there! Nevermind the slews of baby carriages carrying all different ages of children into R-rated shows. (Infants - todlers - pre-teens) Not once have I ever had a pleasant time there. Far below acceptable!

PROS: Nothing
CONS: every person that walks in there

DON'T DO IT! 1 Star Rating - Unsatisfactory

I live only a few blocks away from this theatre - yet, I will drive all the way to Cherry Hill, NJ to attend a movie. Riverview is GHETTO! It's full of riff-raff. If you feel like hearing people talk throughout the movie or if you feel like having your feet stick to the floors, I highly recommend Riverview! Otherwise, go to Lowe's Theatre in Cherry Hill!

Too Bad! 1 Star Rating - Unsatisfactory

I cannot sit thru a movie without being annoyed every minute that I am there. I read the reviews posted here. I must agree that convenience is not the answer. DO I want to be annoyed? So now I stay home until I can travel to a safe venue.

This place sounds like a horror story. So how come I know that, and Mr. Local Mook did not? What did he expect from a place with this kind of clientele and reputation?

Sometimes people blow their tops, especially when provoked an infinitessimal amount of times. Big cities tend to do that to folks. Remember Michael Douglas in Falling Down?

Now, I don't know this James Joseph Cialella Jr from Adam Sandler, but he doesn't strike me as a meek guy who suddenly tired of the urban rat race.

He looks like a mook. He acted like a mook. He is a mook, same as the rest of that lot.

The moral of the story is, what did you expect? It's a bad area. Go somewhere else for peace and quiet, unless you want to be the REALLY BAD GUY. IN PRISON.

Labels: ,

12 Comments:

  • With all apologies to the gunshot victim and the rest of the audience, at least that Cialella guy looks the part--even well cast wouldn't you say?

    I hear you. I was raised around guns at home and the proper respect of them, but don't own any now. My wife, of the euro persuasion, is horrified by them. We have those discussions on your points (a)-(c) all the time.

    I check out the online reviews in three places.

    That's a smart move.

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Sat Dec 27, 11:23:00 am GMT-5  

  • With all apologies to the gunshot victim and the rest of the audience, at least that Cialella guy looks the part--even well cast wouldn't you say?

    Central Casting couldn't have done a better job. He just needs a really cool "made" name though, like Joey Two-Hooks, or something.

    I hear you. I was raised around guns at home and the proper respect of them, but don't own any now.

    I asked Roger and Sgt. over at Althouse for advice in purchasing a handgun. I haven't yet, but I will this New Year.

    Like many people, I suspect Obama will have to throw his progressive fans a bone -- and since it's obviously not don't ask, don't tell, nor is it nationalised health care (we can't afford it anymore with the bailouts), as well as an immediate pullout in every war-zone...that it's probably going to be the Second Amendment taking a hit.

    My wife, of the euro persuasion, is horrified by them. We have those discussions on your points (a)-(c) all the time.

    Meh, it makes me angry...

    The Germans are particularly rabid about this. My mother hates guns, despite also coming from a military household.

    That's a smart move.

    There is such a thing in Britain, as being a "stadium ticker". You know, you go to each sporting venue just to say you've been. I know this guy who plans his entire family holidays around them. (It's okay, because he takes them to Rio to visit Maracanã and all).

    Well...I am a cinemahouse ticker. :)

    Incidentally, in case people wonder, the Omni was indeed in a rough area of town -- downtown is next to Liberty City, our local and very famous "ghetto".

    But in the other two ghettos, located around the Univ of Miami, two other AMCs in fact -- I've been to both many times, and rarely have a problem.

    White people are annoying too, you know. Plus their ringtones are worse.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Dec 27, 11:37:00 am GMT-5  

  • P.S.: If you ever hear a James Bond ringtone, wave hello.

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Dec 27, 11:38:00 am GMT-5  

  • P.S.: If you ever hear a James Bond ringtone, wave hello.

    Will do! :)

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Sat Dec 27, 02:42:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I asked Roger and Sgt. over at Althouse for advice in purchasing a handgun.

    Just curious--what did they suggest?

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Sat Dec 27, 03:12:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I've actually seen a movie at that theater.

    No one got killed.

    By Blogger JSU, at Sat Dec 27, 07:52:00 pm GMT-5  

  • One tenet of good mental health is not to care overmuch about what others think of you. Act in a kind rational way, be polite, go about your business, and know that others will think what they will think.

    The same applies to other countries - I truly do not give a hoot what they think. Do they care what I think about their country? I pity them if they do, as I do have opinions, and they are frequently negative.

    Some guy shoots someone who is annoying him in the arm - big deal. Don't hear much complainin' about Hamas rocketing civilians in Israel, so let's keep things in perspective.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Dec 27, 09:40:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Just curious--what did they suggest?

    I forget, but the upshot is that with their advice I settled on a Glock.

    Which Glock, remains to be seen! I want to go to a shooting range, where they have a "try and buy" range. Very handy, I think. :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Dec 28, 02:08:00 am GMT-5  

  • I've actually seen a movie at that theater.

    No one got killed.


    LOL!

    Oh yes, I remember why you were in Philly. So which was the "best" cinemahouse? :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Dec 28, 02:09:00 am GMT-5  

  • The same applies to other countries - I truly do not give a hoot what they think. Do they care what I think about their country? I pity them if they do, as I do have opinions, and they are frequently negative.

    You know what they say:

    If you don't want to hear anything negative about yourself, don't listen into other's conversation. ;)

    Some guy shoots someone who is annoying him in the arm - big deal. Don't hear much complainin' about Hamas rocketing civilians in Israel, so let's keep things in perspective.

    Ooh...

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sun Dec 28, 02:10:00 am GMT-5  

  • What the heck is "ooh" supposed to mean? Didn't you read that Israel is committing a "holocaust" against the lovely and peaceful Hamas?

    Are you Cedarford in drag?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Dec 29, 12:06:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Are you Cedarford in drag?

    LOL--thanks for the visual anon!

    word verification: damering (I kid you not)

    By Blogger chickenlittle, at Mon Dec 29, 04:50:00 pm GMT-5  

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