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Sundries
...a sweatshop of moxie

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Jessica Parker

Premium Cable channel, HBO, has opened up a new shop for HBO-goodies in Manhattan, near Bryant Park.

I'm thinking as I read this, why does a cable channel need its own shop? I mean, it's not like they're PBS.

(By the way, does PBS still have those shops anymore? There used to be one in The Falls Mall, but I haven't noticed if they're still around. It was a little bit like the Disney Store, but with Arthur and D.W., who coincidentally, I once met at the PBS store there. What? I watch children's programming)

Then I remember.

Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and The City. Ahh, yes.





Listen, I loved SATC, and in fact, I actually own Season 1 on DVD. It was a Secret Santa gift, but my point still stands.

Yet, danged if I'm going to be seen shopping in this emporium, which even I realise is an obsessive shade of pink too far. I mean, how many men will be shopping there?

(My guess is only Anderson Cooper and Ryan Seacrest. Big Oz fans, huge)

I also have no idea why they put SJP all alone, on that projected mural, as it does indeed make her already generous schnozzola about 45 feet bigger.

In the words of Peter Griffin on Family Guy, "Why not, they allow Sarah Jessica Parker on TV, and she has a face like a foot."

Quite.

By the way, here's a random beef.

Why is it that South Americans have this bizarre habit of calling people with three names in English -- the middle of which is not a family name but a Christian name -- and use their last two names only, hmm, hmm?

Catch that? Wait, it's like this:

- Sarah Jessica Parker? Becomes "Jessica Parker"

- Jennifer Jason Leigh? Becomes "Jason Leigh"

- Martin Luther King Jr? Becomes "Luther King"

I know people are going to reply that in Spanish and Portuguese-speaking countries, the tradition is to use the last two surnames of a person's name.

But PATENTLY that is not the case with "Jessica Parker", not to say the completely nutty, "Luther King".

Of course, in English we have a similar peculiarity, in that a footballer like metrosexual Portugal and Man United player, Cristiano Ronaldo, is called "Ronaldo". The same weird custom applies to Roberto Carlos, ex-Brazil midget defender, who is referred to moronically as "Carlos".

What on earth. That's like calling me "Elisabeth" or Ron "Alfredo".

Yes, I'm not sure which person is going to decide they just can't live without that DVD of The Sopranos one fine day, and rush out to the HBO store, only to be blinded by its aggressive pinkness.

Furthermore, I don't see why the other gals of Sex And The City got gypped by the mecca-room mural, especially my favourite character, British-Canadian lass, Kim Cattrall.

As Gawker inimitably put it:

Really, are things so bad that we need an entire room--make that shrine--dedicated to the memory of Carrie et al? Seriously, this looks like someone from Six Feet Under got the interior design contract.

Is it wrong to think that Sarah Jessica Parker looked better on the side of a bus?

Yes, yes it is. But it's still sweet to hear it.

Labels: , ,

23 Comments:

  • "Premium Cable channel, HBO, has opened up a new shop for HBO-goodies in Manhattan, near Bryant Park.

    I'm thinking as I read this, why does a cable channel need its own shop?"


    Because that's where their office building is. It was a pretty drab entrance for a media enterprise.

    I mean, how many men will be shopping there?

    I won't, unless Rome on Blu-Ray appears there exclusively...

    By Blogger JSU, at Thu Feb 15, 05:04:00 am GMT-5  

  • I believe SJP and HBO cooked up some marketing deal before "City" which touted up Carrie, because at that moment in time Sarah was the closest thing the show had to a "Star." I know that they had planned a solo SJP show or movie spinoff, if "City" itself had not caught on.

    Hence her Product Placement Dominance.

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Feb 15, 06:56:00 am GMT-5  

  • Because that's where their office building is. It was a pretty drab entrance for a media enterprise.

    Ah, I see.

    But my question was more existential and yet, more frivolous, at the same time. ;)

    I won't, unless Rome on Blu-Ray appears there exclusively...

    Oh, I didn't you had HDTV, JSU. When was that?

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 12:01:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I believe SJP and HBO cooked up some marketing deal before "City" which touted up Carrie, because at that moment in time Sarah was the closest thing the show had to a "Star." I know that they had planned a solo SJP show or movie spinoff, if "City" itself had not caught on.

    You'd think that contract had been allowed to evolve, although she truly is their biggest star, and of course, main character.

    But I'm on Kim Cattrall's side, during their bitter 4-way fight.

    Hence her Product Placement Dominance.

    PPD? ;)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 12:03:00 pm GMT-5  

  • "Elisabeth"? Why, Vicks! I didn't know!

    Your Majesty!

    Heheheee!

    By Blogger benning, at Thu Feb 15, 03:00:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Vic -- You in NYC for BloggerThon?

    Get drunk Althouse pics! ;)

    You'd think that contract had been allowed to evolve, although she truly is their biggest star, and of course, main character.
    I certainly agree with this, but Hollywood is filled with contracts that go on forever. Astaire's spouse's iron grip contract on his image may eventually remove (or at least reduce) him from the public imagination.

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Feb 15, 03:13:00 pm GMT-5  

  • "Elisabeth"? Why, Vicks! I didn't know!

    Your Majesty!

    Heheheee!


    Yeah, like Victoria wasn't a dead giveaway. ;)

    (It's with an -s, now! After my grandmother)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:22:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Vic -- You in NYC for BloggerThon?

    Not I. I'm work-shy and idle, remember? ;)

    You know who might. JSU.

    He goes to many of the higher-profiled ones, in his neck of the woods.

    Get drunk Althouse pics! ;)

    Heh. BTW, I asked the Prof about her giddy disposition during her last blogcast.

    Twasn't the doobage, but a nice glass of red wine, apparently.

    I certainly agree with this, but Hollywood is filled with contracts that go on forever. Astaire's spouse's iron grip contract on his image may eventually remove (or at least reduce) him from the public imagination.

    Oh that is a shame. How old is she??

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 03:24:00 pm GMT-5  

  • You'd think that contract had been allowed to evolve, although she truly is their biggest star, and of course, main character.

    IIRC, she's also the Executive Producer, which I take to mean she has influence over marketing as well as show content, not to mention that she probably is making significantly more money than anyone else on the show.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Thu Feb 15, 03:36:00 pm GMT-5  

  • I blame the Iraq War.

    I'm not sure how or why, but it seems everything is a result of the Iraq War.

    (at least if you leave it up to 'journalist' working at say the NYT)

    (my favorite from this week, Yeats' Second Coming is about the Iraq War)

    Oh what the hell, I'll give it a shot . . .

    "As folks attempt to cocoon themselves in fluffy pink memories of a world before Boooosh, the Iraq War, and 9/11, no person better exemplifies those heady times than the late great Carrie Bradshaw. Therefore it makes perfect sense that when HBO opens their new store in NYC, they'd have a veritable shrine to Carrie within their walls. It's a refuge for the devoted to escape the dire predicament of a world gone mad . . ."

    (I could go on, but I think you get the point, I wish that my quick and dirty satire was an exaggeration, but if anything it's underplayed)

    By Blogger XWL, at Thu Feb 15, 07:20:00 pm GMT-5  

  • By Blogger Ploorian, at Thu Feb 15, 07:44:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Mrs. Astaire is only in her early '60s... 45 years younger than Fred when they married in 1980.

    By Blogger Ron, at Thu Feb 15, 08:15:00 pm GMT-5  

  • "As folks attempt to cocoon themselves in fluffy pink memories of a world before Boooosh, the Iraq War, and 9/11, no person better exemplifies those heady times than the late great Carrie Bradshaw. Therefore it makes perfect sense that when HBO opens their new store in NYC, they'd have a veritable shrine to Carrie within their walls. It's a refuge for the devoted to escape the dire predicament of a world gone mad . . ."

    Oh My. Reality Check, is that you...

    Did you know that I read in Filmmaker magazine that Kate Winslet's "Little Children" is really about Bush?

    Yes...the director states that the paedophile is an analogy for the intense suspicion, accusatory climate of fear engendered by the Bush Administration on the US public.

    The crazy ex-cop is Bush, and the paedophile is Osama Bin Laden.

    (December issue of Filmmaker magazine -- I'm keeping it, because I want to show this to my children. They won't believe me when I tell them about BDS)

    (I could go on, but I think you get the point, I wish that my quick and dirty satire was an exaggeration, but if anything it's underplayed)

    Yes, XWL. :(

    (Whew)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 08:16:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ploorian, that's funny. I wonder how it must be to be the object of these kinds of tributes...

    Ron, ahh, makes sense. :)

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 08:16:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Ploorian, that's funny. I wonder how it must be to be the object of these kinds of tributes...

    If she's seen it, I hope she was flattered because the song was inspired by one of the more awful movies she was in.

    The MST3K episode that song appears in is up on YouTube, but I have no idea which segment.

    Oh My. Reality Check, is that you...

    No kidding

    (December issue of Filmmaker magazine -- I'm keeping it, because I want to show this to my children. They won't believe me when I tell them about BDS)

    To riff off the Boomers v. Gen-Whatevers meme, I imagine it would be similar to a Boomer trying to get us to entirely understand the hatred for Nixon.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Thu Feb 15, 08:42:00 pm GMT-5  


  • If she's seen it, I hope she was flattered because the song was inspired by one of the more awful movies she was in.


    Hey! I loved Mannequin.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Thu Feb 15, 08:46:00 pm GMT-5  

  • Hey! I loved Mannequin.

    The song mentions Mannequin, but it was inspired by something called City Limits.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Thu Feb 15, 09:39:00 pm GMT-5  

  • 1.9 IMDB rating! What a stinker.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Feb 16, 12:02:00 am GMT-5  

  • "Jessica Parker" - do Iberiphones really say that? That's their problem, actually - they can try and choke on "Borissov Tchernev" if they wish, instead of using the much simpler Elko. And Luther King cracks me up - perhaps as much as Nosmo King, or Nopar King. :))

    Elko

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri Feb 16, 03:53:00 am GMT-5  

  • "Jessica Parker" - do Iberiphones really say that?

    Anecdotally, yes.

    That is, in normal everyday conversation, that's what I've heard on South American radio and television stations.

    I just tried to Google "Jessica Parker" but because it's part of her name, I am not getting the hits to give you an visual example.

    That's their problem, actually - they can try and choke on "Borissov Tchernev" if they wish, instead of using the much simpler Elko.

    Borissov! I like it. :)

    And Luther King cracks me up - perhaps as much as Nosmo King, or Nopar King. :))

    This was easier, but I still struggled, because as I say, it seems to be a conversational custom, rather than a written, or formal one, perhaps.

    Here is the Spanish-version Wiki entry for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

    Now, if you read it, you'll see that they use "King" most of the time.

    But I think one "Luther King" escaped notice of the editors, since this line wasn't cleaned up.

    Under "Como murio?" (How did he die?), towards the end:

    "En 1999 Coretta Scott King, la viuda de Luther King y también líder por los derechos civiles [...]".

    See? Dumb.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Fri Feb 16, 05:09:00 am GMT-5  

  • 1.9 IMDB rating! What a stinker.

    Only the very worst rated ridicule on MST3K.

    By Blogger Ploorian, at Fri Feb 16, 01:52:00 pm GMT-5  

  • My attempts to take a picture of this edifice have failed. I may try again.

    No Althouse gathering for me, unless she turns up at the opera or something.

    By Blogger JSU, at Sat Feb 17, 01:52:00 am GMT-5  

  • My attempts to take a picture of this edifice have failed. I may try again.

    Aww, JSU, that's so sweet. Thanks for at least trying. :)

    No Althouse gathering for me, unless she turns up at the opera or something.

    LOL! That is hilarious.

    And completely unlikely.

    Would be nice, though, since you're not in the least a member of her ratpack.

    Cheers,
    Victoria

    By Blogger vbspurs, at Sat Feb 17, 02:14:00 am GMT-5  

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