HBO -- One Step Forward, Two Backwards

As you know, HBO just transmitted a Sundance selected film about a Marine's coming home, after having been killed in action in Iraq. "Taking Chances" was exceptional because without in the least being pro-Iraq, it gave a person's life sacrifice its due without editorialising.

That is unusual not only for HBO, but for the current movie industry in general.

But just when you thought HBO would leave the topic alone for a while, its cable subscribers like myself are about to be treated to Will Ferrell's one-man Broadway show about the outgoing President Bush.



"You're Welcome America - A Final Night with President Bush" will be televised live from its Broadway stage, so you too can enjoy seeing a large penis of George W. Bush being superimposed on the screen.

That was the scene which prompted many first-nighters to leave and ask for their money back.

Gee, I can't wait.

It's nice to know HBO is looking out for the little people's interests, those of us stuck in the boonies who would otherwise miss out laughing with the sophisticates in New York City.

Set your TiVo for March 14th at 9 PM.

Miracle On The Hudson

Here's not a sight you see everyday. Wow. These passengers look like they're walking on water!



This unbelievable sight of a downed US Airways' A-320 Airbus was shot by an AP photographer somewhere between the 50s and 40s of the Upper West Side of Manhattan, inside the drink that is the Hudson River.

It was en route to Charlotte, N.C. when apparently it hit a flock of Canadian geese, making their usual migration southwards for this time of year. Planes hitting birds is not usual, but neither is it that unusual either. The blades are meant to "absorb" such a strike.

What makes this scene absolutely impossible, is that both engines suffered from the impact, and of course, that the plane survived by crash landing unto the super icy Hudson River.

ALL PASSENGERS ON BOARD are apparently saved. Amazing. Full credit to those pilots who executed this tricky water landing, to put it mildly.

I am watching NBC News, with Brian Williams explaining to the viewers where the phrase "balls to the walls" came from. You'll be glad to know it's not as coarse as it sounds, but has to do with pilot manoeuvering inside the cockpit.

Who knew, eh?

Seriously, though, it's impossible to fathom the series of 'lucky' breaks that this plane had to go through, even in high drama: the talented pilots, sharp crew, and the immediacy of their surroundings.

Just recently, a ferry went down in the waters of Indonesia, with catastrophic results. JFK Jr's plane hit the water in what must've resembled this crash, almost too eerily (had there been witnesses). And lastly, the memories of a plane in distress in New York City are still too potent for all of us. All due to the vagaries of fate.

It's a great day to be alive.

Jessica Parker

Premium Cable channel, HBO, has opened up a new shop for HBO-goodies in Manhattan, near Bryant Park.

I'm thinking as I read this, why does a cable channel need its own shop? I mean, it's not like they're PBS.

(By the way, does PBS still have those shops anymore? There used to be one in The Falls Mall, but I haven't noticed if they're still around. It was a little bit like the Disney Store, but with Arthur and D.W., who coincidentally, I once met at the PBS store there. What? I watch children's programming)

Then I remember.

Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and The City. Ahh, yes.





Listen, I loved SATC, and in fact, I actually own Season 1 on DVD. It was a Secret Santa gift, but my point still stands.

Yet, danged if I'm going to be seen shopping in this emporium, which even I realise is an obsessive shade of pink too far. I mean, how many men will be shopping there?

(My guess is only Anderson Cooper and Ryan Seacrest. Big Oz fans, huge)

I also have no idea why they put SJP all alone, on that projected mural, as it does indeed make her already generous schnozzola about 45 feet bigger.

In the words of Peter Griffin on Family Guy, "Why not, they allow Sarah Jessica Parker on TV, and she has a face like a foot."

Quite.

By the way, here's a random beef.

Why is it that South Americans have this bizarre habit of calling people with three names in English -- the middle of which is not a family name but a Christian name -- and use their last two names only, hmm, hmm?

Catch that? Wait, it's like this:

- Sarah Jessica Parker? Becomes "Jessica Parker"

- Jennifer Jason Leigh? Becomes "Jason Leigh"

- Martin Luther King Jr? Becomes "Luther King"

I know people are going to reply that in Spanish and Portuguese-speaking countries, the tradition is to use the last two surnames of a person's name.

But PATENTLY that is not the case with "Jessica Parker", not to say the completely nutty, "Luther King".

Of course, in English we have a similar peculiarity, in that a footballer like metrosexual Portugal and Man United player, Cristiano Ronaldo, is called "Ronaldo". The same weird custom applies to Roberto Carlos, ex-Brazil midget defender, who is referred to moronically as "Carlos".

What on earth. That's like calling me "Elisabeth" or Ron "Alfredo".

Yes, I'm not sure which person is going to decide they just can't live without that DVD of The Sopranos one fine day, and rush out to the HBO store, only to be blinded by its aggressive pinkness.

Furthermore, I don't see why the other gals of Sex And The City got gypped by the mecca-room mural, especially my favourite character, British-Canadian lass, Kim Cattrall.

As Gawker inimitably put it:

Really, are things so bad that we need an entire room--make that shrine--dedicated to the memory of Carrie et al? Seriously, this looks like someone from Six Feet Under got the interior design contract.

Is it wrong to think that Sarah Jessica Parker looked better on the side of a bus?

Yes, yes it is. But it's still sweet to hear it.