Heckuva Game

What did you think of Super Bowl 43?

Frankly, I watched the first half with half an eye at the screen, the other chasing down information on slutty used car parts salespeople. It wasn't that interesting until JUST at the half, when that defensive end ran down an interception for an unbelievable 100 yards.

It was the quintessential Chris Berman moment, when he was rumbling, stumbling, bumbling, and incredibly no one could bring him down. My grandma could tackle better than that. Although she did play for the Packers.

Then came The Boss, whose music I have never cared for. When I think of blue-collar music, I automatically think of Hank Williams Sr. and George Jones, not lefty loudmouths who sing torch songs about Jersey.

(He was great, obviously. I'll take him a dozen times over Mr. Wardrobe Malfunction and the Peek-a-Boo booby)

The commercials were a mixed bag.

"Go Daddy" just went all out and broke their adversiting piggybank, though I can't say I really cared for any of them, ditto for the unamusingly sexist "Power of the Crunch" Doritos one. But I think it's fairly received wisdom that the Budweiser horses with that laughable Scots accent were a rom-com hit. I loved the circus lady falling off from the horse, although I confess making fun of fat ladies in tutus is so "Laugh In".



And who is this, Tony the Tiger?



The third half didn't offer much, but I felt that the Cards were never out of it. My pre-game prediction had been 22 Cards 17 Pittsburgh, figuring into that tally a 3+7+7+3+2 scoring output. Lo-and-behold, they did score a safety, which I hadn't realised hadn't been done in eons in a Super Bowl.

I think it's the Catholic in me, since I like the prayerful gesture which imparts a moment of humble supplication into an otherwise bombastic sport.



Ironically, it was that play that set the tone for the 4th quarter, which was surely one of the best ever in a Super Bowl. I just cannot get over Santonio Holmes' catch in the end-zone. The Belle Glade, Florida boy must've practised scraping his toes with both feet down so that a touchdown would count many many times.

Look at this! It's crazy good, as the kids say.



That is very hard to do, indeed, but full credit to Big Ben Roethlisberger (who at 26, looks like a 42 year-old man already) for the laser sharp throw.



I suppose now that he has two Super Bowl rings that he should be considered second-only to Tom Brady, trumping my beloved Peyton Manning from the number 2 spot. But you know, Ben doesn't do anything on the field that warrants such adulation.

He's worse than Dan Marino, that statue in the middle of the field. He just stands there, throws, gets hit and gets back up to do it all over again in the next down. Even Terry Bradshaw, who is certifiable, did more than that.

Still, in the modern age, the Pittsburgh Steelers are the soccer equivalent of Italy or Inter Milan, at club level.

Sure, they will never dazzle anyone with their offensive output, but you are certain you are watching consummate professionals at work, capable of that amazing killer touch when it counts the most.

Congrats Steeler Nation!

IN THE COMMENTS: Wow, Sundries readers sure are down with the corporate mascots. Jim writes:

"That was the Cheetah for Cheetos. "They're cheesy."

To which Alcibiades replies, "His proper name is "Chester Cheetah".

Chester? I dunno guys. I loved Tony the Tiger. He's grrrrreat! Come on, you knew that was coming.

Superbowl Eggheads

So you want to know who will win the Super Bowl this Sunday? The surprising Arizona Cardinals or the defensive juggernauts Pittsburgh Steelers? You and every bookie around, buddy.

Given that Trooper York's New York Giants won last year, which was a kind of miracle given the invincibility of the 17-0 Patriots (I'll have you know that I was backing the Giants all the way -- love dem Mannings!), one would have to be pretty daring to go with the underdogs again this year.

So call me crazy, not that you don't already, but I'll take the Cardinals with whatever you call when they win by 2 points. Two point spread, or something, right? Hey, I'm good at predictions, but lousy in bet-talk.

For those who are undecided, you could do worse than follow the results of the infallible test concocted by wingnut talkshow host, "MJ" Schnitt.

What is the test? Since the video cannot be embedded, I have to use a more old-fashioned method to show you.

Check it out below.

You start with a carton of Eggland's Best.



Clearly label the chicken by-products.



Get yourself one of those Daewoo "hatchibatchies", as Cubans call them.



Stick in the worthy opponents, timer to 5 minutes. Whichever explodes first, loses.



And the winner is...the Pittsburgh Steelers!



WOO! AFC BABY!



Remember last year?



In all the years Schnitt has been doing this egg Super Bowl test, it's never been wrong. Ever.



...oh, screw my womanly intuition. I'm putting 250 large on the Steelers.

(One feels I should end this statement with "Suckas", or something potent like that. So yeah, Suckas!)

UPDATE: The Egg Was right again!

Not Bad

Aussie Ad Breaks Back Of GLBT

The Australian GLBT chapter have found a Telstra television advert to be highly "homophobic". When they sought to file an official complaint in a government website, they found that the site was not equipped for such a complaint. This in turn was judged to be "discriminatory".

I read the article before I saw the video, so I was expecting something really insulting. Perhaps a 'light in your loafers' comment by an actor, or perhaps the gratuitous throwing of fudge (humour me).

But this is the spot they took grave offense to.



You know what really struck me about this ad?

That two grown Australian men would be excited to watch a sport shamefully known as "w*g ball" in Australia (soccer being the chosen sport of non-British emigrés). That's because "real Australians" play Aussie rules football.

Progress isn't always progressive, guys. Sometimes the progress is about something else.

Anyway, have you seen Aussie rules footballers in action?

Cristiano Walter

I finally figured out who Cristiano Ronaldo looks like, seen here juggling the ball with his outrageous ballskills, ahead of Portugal's friendly versus Brazil.



Walter Mercado.



In case you don't know, he's a legendary Puerto Rican soothsayer who had a very successful career in the Spanish-speaking television world as a cross between Jeanne Dixon and Liberace.

Last I heard, a raspy-voiced Cuban lady called Profesora Selegna had taken over his gig. [ed. vbspurs: Wow, she has a blog!?]

I think the resemblence lies in the eyelid folds. They've each got that puffy post-surgery look to it. Although, C-Ron's rope of pearls, lipstick and weency George Michael-Wham! era shorts help the resemblence along too...

Pele And Maradona Today

These two footballing legends had remarkably different official engagements on Tuesday, neatly reflecting their individual storylines.

Brazilian legend, Pelé, who has been official soccer's golden boy going on 50 years, was visiting Sweden, the scene of his country's first World Cup win, whose anniversary they were marking. He even gave an autographed football to their Queen, Silvia.



Though the ball was signed in English ("With Love, Pelé"), the Queen is absolutely fluent in Portuguese, as she is in her native German. Her mother was born Ana Soares de Toledo, heralding from the State of São Paulo. Silvia spent 10 years of her childhood there, so I'm sure they spoke Portuguese together.

Incidentally, Pelé looks incredible for a man of 68. He could easily be a decade or more younger.

Unfortunately, life hasn't been as kind to Diego Armando Maradona.

Not only was he the poster boy for destructive behaviour, but his onfield brilliance was shadowed by that nagging penchant he had for cheating. To this day, new Scotland manager, and ex-England captain, Terry Butcher, refuses to forgive Maradona for that infamous "Hand of God" goal, that I personally remember so well, despite being a child.

Unlike Pelé, though, his country's Federation has given him a much weightier role than Goodwill Ambassador -- he has been appointed Argentina's manager, and today at his first presser, he stated without hesitation that he will make Argentina a World Cup winner again.



To date, Brazil have proven themselves capable of flinging off the ghost of Pelé. They have won two World Cups without him, and played in all the World Cup Final matches since 1994, save for 2006.

But Argentina have not proven that they can win without Maradona.

Will his managerial style be more successful today, than it was during a similar appointment in the past? We shall see.

One thing is for sure: Maradona is literally a shadow of himself ever since undergoing gastric bypass surgery. However haggard you may see him looking here, it's good to see him looking less like the water buffalo of old.

Kaká Set To Start

It's been eons since last time I blogged about Milan player, Kaká. You might recall The Anatomy of a Goal Call.

Unfortunately, I have no good news about last month's World Cup qualifier in Rio de Janeiro versus Bolivia. They drew 0-0 in legendary Maracanã stadium. According to reports, Brazil looked like 'shadows' of themselves.

Nice. Valeu Dunga, seu bobo...

Fortunately, Brazil should have Kaká (no, it doesn't mean what you think it means, that is cocó in Portuguese) back in the lineup versus Venezuela.

You can't go to town on Venezuela anymore, so if they don't win this one, it should make the 5-time World Cup champions sweat. There are second in the table, but others are nipping at their heels close-by. We'll see.

COME ON GATINHO!

Podiamos!

So said President Rodríguez Zapatero of Spain, when asked about his country's well-earned Euro 2008 victory.

"Estoy muy feliz. He disfrutado y es un privilegio ser el primer presidente de la democracia que tiene la suerte de ver esto. Han merecido ganar. Esto sólo es el principio. Lo mejor está aún por venir.¡Podíamos!"

(Trans) "I am very happy. I've enjoyed it. It's a privilege to be the first president of a democracy to have witnessed such an event. They deserved to win. This is only the beginning: the best is yet to come. YES WE CAN!"

...okay, Podiamos is more like "yes we could", in the past tense, but the mantra is still the same, and universal amongst his kind, apparently.

More to my liking was the genuine emotion and elegance exhibited by the royal pair, King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia.

Unlike their son and daughter-in-law, who whooped it up in near-hooligan fashion during the Spain-Russia match, Crown Prince Felipe and Crown Princess Letizia even using her Blackberry to text their friends during the match...



...the monarch and his wife showed why they have been a class act on the Spanish Throne for 33 years.

The King's words say it all.

"Ha sido muy emocionante. Hemos sufrido pero ha merecido la pena. Es lo más bonito de los últimos años. Ya era hora"

(Trans) "It was all very emotional. We went through a lot but it was all worth it. It's the most beautiful thing that's happened in recent years."

Then he and the Queen patted El Niño, goal winner Fernando Torres, and said, "It was high time."



P.S.: Okay, so my mother cried after the match. For whatever reason, she wanted this title more than other years -- possibly because she can't remember a decade when Germany went title-less (since the 1960s, actually).

But honestly, Spain were impeccable in the tournament.

Even my former whipping-boy, Iker Casillas, was unrecognisably good. Brazilian-born Marcos Senna was the finest player on the pitch today, whereas Schweinthingie was abysmal, Ballack a rude joke, and manager Loew an idealess hack.

So yes. Despite my unequivocal support of Germany this entire tournament, I echo the King.

After 44 years of Spanish Armada drought, ya era hora. Congrats, Spain!

MORE: Heh. Actually, I hadn't seen this bit. Not only can you see and hear the King saying what he did above, but the Queen's reaction after the match is priceless.

She goes up to the King, and yanks him over to kiss him. Meanwhile, he's busy being slap-happy with the entire VIP section.

Divided Loyalties

For such a mutt as I am, unusual for an European, I usually wince whenever there's a soccer semi-final somewhere in this world. Invariably, two countries or clubs I am closely tied to by blood or emotion are represented.

Oh, who to choose! Cringe, cringe, I go. Not today, boy. It's Germany all the way!

But maybe this Turkish Taxi Driver can relate.